to m – if i weren’t pen,

I guess I would have stuck with being a biology major and diverted to horticulture in my last few years of college? Or maybe I would have ditched the sciences for the humanities all over again, but hopefully would have chosen something practical – not English, and not something completely vague like Communications – like counseling? Which of course wouldn’t have been lucrative, either, but decidedly more concrete. More marketable – more needed.

I don’t know where these choices would have taken me because obviously I would have met a completely different set of people and the space-time continuum would have been completely thrown out of whack. I wouldn’t have met you (gasp), not in Chicago, because I wouldn’t ever have gone. Unless it was for a business trip, or somesuch. Maybe I would have migrated to the mountains of Western NC, or somehow found myself back up North. Maybe.

Would I have been more centered, surrounded by plant life or the emotionally off-kilter? Perhaps. Maybe I would have found yoga sooner, or became a vegetarian. Maybe I’d wear glasses all the time – although I’m sure it still would have given me headaches. And obviously I’d be a brunette. With an eyebrow piercing, a penchant for jean jackets and possibly an ankle tat. Maybe I’d be the kind of person who could choose and commit to a tat. But I still would have been adverse to tanning, bumper stickers and phone conversations, I’m sure of it.

And it’s very possible I’d have an entirely different set of children, a lingering fear of dogs and no m and no j.lo in my life, none of which is okay, clearly, and so the exercise can only take us so far…

still pen, still here :)