Penolin,

Hello you.
Ive had sort of an outofsorts, mentally confused sort of day. Like all my to-do's are trying to squash me in my head. The ipod,the necklaces, the EW i was going to read, my thoughts on the republican primary, my need to meditate, my hovering at 275, my uncle harassing me, the tile, smashing up the floor, all the books, my desire to tan, the shelf we need to cut, roses to trim, emails to return, letters to write, people i'm avoiding, people who are avoiding me, money, things to volunteer for and schedule, and then suddenly all the clutter on my desk and all the awesome eclectic decor of my room starts to squash me too. I need like, a white room or something? It definitely points to being over simulated. ha. Stimulated. Like i'm assimilating or simulating non-chaos. And yet no white room. No room to just check out in. It's hard to push it all back or force it to slot into natural order. I don't even know if my lists would help as they're all just too ridiculously varied to go together naturally. And then even the preponderance of lists or the thought, stress me out. I suppose I could just do these things like redoing my picture files or contemplating writing again, but then... ach. Oh also on littlehouseonthepraire today this one guy in total foreshadowing refused the wool coat the niles offered him and everyone else took theirs. And of course he's face up in the snow staring at mary and laura and charles, and he's like, there's nothing we can do now, come on... and the girls are all uh, wha...

I feel better after swimming, though there was this definite feeling on the way there of all the cars trying to hit me, one was definitevly swerving, bcs he was shaving in his rearview, and then in the pool that feeling of having stayed too long. I didn't even shave or lotion after the shower. And I'm back home now and I did attempt wandering outside for a minute to cut some flowers but then i came back inside without putting the broken rototiller on the curb or picking up the remains of the ivy. Oh and the ren project is totally stalled. As you know all that work was too much for mom and exhausting for dad. And I seem to be surrounded at the moment and facing off the enemy. I thought about writing down in my planner: demolish floor, but i haven't yet. I may play it by my own ear. Mom was thinking in a month she might be ready to pump the septic tank but we'll try for next week.

And yesterday i watched the unitedstates&ftara but i can't say i much like it. But 'The Guild' which apparently is this kickass webisode thing is awesome. Go catch up on it now onthenetfl*x- with all that new time you're going to have. It'll freak you out at first (the time not the guild) but it's going to be awesome. Oh and lets go from God to Fear in the book. When i get around i'll post pics and impressions of the kid and the people. Right now i'm contemplating an eye twitch.

m.
ps. mad jealous of your awesome box.