Tuesday Thoughts: regarding the rest of the week, by M

Apparently the week was not quite done with me.

Friday: The girl knew her check was coming late, so went out into the wide world for a respite. She hopped in her car and as she drove out of the garage, her breath was knocked from her by a large muscle on the left side of her back, and it's iron-fisted grip. She hunched forward, holyfuckingwhat, escaping her lips. She breathed out with wide eyes as her nerves now being stuck by pins spread across her back, her breath coming in deep sighs, felt tight and constricted as her back muscles fought the movement. Every breath uncomfortable. She pressed her back against the seat. FUCK, she thought, as she now could no longer turn her head to the left or tip it to the right. This was good times. But the girl did eventually go to the gym and jumped into the jacuzzi, then the pool, then the steam room, and shoveled some advil into her mouth, lathering herself in icy/hot and going to bed even as the headache spread and hovered at the base of her neck. Blissful sleep.

Saturday: The girl woke, not quite well but vowed to venture downtown to the fabric district. It was uncommon hot, and her friend had brought friends and they manically went from store to store to store until the girl grew dizzy from fabric options and wanted to just stand still and think. And as time tore from her at the 11th hour she found a different direction and spent $30 on 20yards. Gold. Mine. And although she fell further behind against the clock, things were going well, just ok, until the friend and the friend's friend started talking about religion. I suppose the girl had started it, fed it, when the friend said, this girl is all RELIGIOUS, despite the fact the girl sat there as a known church goer, she asked why? What do you mean? To which they said, we know you're not like that BUT, religion is brainwashing, religion is a republican fear-mongering tactic, religion is pathetic and pointless, and have it however you want as long as you don't PUSH IT ON ME. And the girl furrowed her brow and could not find the words, as she felt smashed against the pane of THEIR BELIEFS, and then she said, well religion is different than Jesus, to which her friend said, yah, but. And the girl said, so you don't believe in Jesus anymore? To which her friend went, eh.... And the girl turned her head to the window, and was very glad to have sunglasses on, as it seemed she'd just been told that her friend of 18 years didn't love HER anymore. And she found her heart just a little bit broken. And saw that her friend glanced over, but still could find nothing to say.

Sunday: She got a call from a friend who wanted to see her. So the girl saw her, and the girl stared with disdain at the Obama/Biden button, and wanted a McCain/Palin Button of her own to wear as they sat over their lunch salads and iced tea. But she didn't say anything but sat slumped and melancholy. They talked but the girl was not very good company. And then they went to leave, her beloved car lolly, went SCRUNCH against the pylon on the left. And the friend said, I saw that. THEN WHY THE FUCK DIDN"T YOU SAY SOMETHING. I thought, for sure you saw it. The girl said, PLEASE stop saying shit like that. When I ran the stoplight and you said, Are you sure? What the fuck was that suppose to mean. If you're not going to help, stop saying you could've helped but just refused to SAY SOMETHING. FUCK... Do you want to get out and look at it, asked the friend. NO I DO NOT, said the girl, who in all of her years of driving had NEVER done that particular maneuver, on any more or less important cars. She stared straight ahead and tried to make it home, and when her father suggested the friend stay for dinner she said NO, and when they suggested dinner next week, the girl said she'd have to check her schedule, because the girl no longer thought it right that the father could talk better to the friend than to her. And later, the girl read Dracula to her mother, and they watched Clue, and she had an allergic reaction to wheat cereal and felt, very, very sorry for herself.

Monday: The girl woke with a vow to not go to work, but found herself driving there anyway, and managed to vote (proud as she googled each proposition), and write a little something, and harass people about the prayer ministry meeting from last wednesday....and not do her french homework, but went to class anyway, only to feel her whole body humming and screeching and wanting to lay down. She thought, it could've been the cookie, brownie and ricekrispie treat I had earlier, but the girl thought it more likely was her back. And then as they sat talking about subjunctive clauses her left hand throbbed, and she turned it palm up and went to rub a sore spot on the pad of her palm, but it hurt more when she did it, and she could see a vien bulging up and turning purple with a swath of pink around it, but the girl didn't know why. She only hoped that, after spending 5 minutes resting her eyes in a bathroom stall that she would be able to make it home without further incident. She could only hope Tuesday would prove better. And the twinge in her eye indicated that she herself couldn't believe it.