things that make me sad:1

things that make me sad and don't include me are things i don't necessarily like to say out loud or discuss at length- i just internalize it and take it away with me. like politics or the ghetto it gets filed under tragic just like people starving or being brutalized... i slip stuff like this into obscure sentence structures, hints, foreshadowing and closed doors. so to actually say it, makes me feel sort of vile.

for instance: my friend called me last thursday and told me her boyfriend punched her in the face and broke her nose. in front of their kid, over a tapped bumper. my first question: was he on something? yes. did she call the police: yes... reluctantly. does she realize she's in an abusive co-dependent relationship? yes. but all of these things, my analysis, my want for her to escape her situation, and the rest, doesn't address the why. or tell me if it's going to happen again or if she's going to start making better choices... or not or if it's going to get worse or not... or if she's going to call me again in pain, or if she's ever going to call me and sound happy and not be struggling... and hoping the best only goes a little way when you have no control over a story that you've seen develop for 15 years and wonder at the turn its taken.