It's me, penelope. This letter serves as my formal request: please don't ever let me become Angry Mom. You know who I mean. Every mom gets mad, annoyed, and/or frustrated at her kids now and then, or feels just angry in general, about whatever. But some moms walk around as Angry Mom, with perpetual Angry Chips on their perpetually Angry Shoulders, and they are no picnic to be around. They scowl and snarl, they never comb their hair. They snipe at their kids constantly, nothing the little ones ever do is right. They seem to hate their husband, their lot in life, the whole world in general. They complain, they scowl some more, they never ever laugh. And I know, it's true, I don't know their plight, so who am I to judge.
But I do know that these women radiate Deathly Hostility Rays onto the world, out at the store or wherever, particularly drawing a bead on any fellow mother who seems at all less dissatisfied with her own life. Women who enjoy their children, say. Or, let me be more specific: women who are clearly oblivious to how annoying children are or, if they aren't now, surely will be one day. (And you're having another? they ask with their eyes. Huh, good luck with that.)
Then, possibly even more grating, is Angry Mom who feels you couldn't possibly appreciate your children enough. The one who might keep her hair neat, but the smile remains just as pinched. This one says, with an air of sullenness about her, Be grateful for what you have. It's like, in supposedly saying something nice about your child, i.e. You really were blessed with a wonderful little girl, she is also insinuating, but you couldn't possibly understand that, could you. Since you (I) only have one kid and all. And because her own cute, polite, and well-behaved children are clearly so horrible and not up to snuff. She resents you from the start.
This latter Angry Mom then grows into Angry Regret-Projector Mom, and older mom who accosts you, traps you into a corner, and falls just short of grabbing your arm and twisting a little bit. She gets in your face and says, No really, you must enjoy your children now, I insist.
***
Dear Angry Moms,
I've got it covered, back the eff off. Though, I am sorry for your plight.
xo,
penelo-hag
***
Dear God,
Me again. So, do we have a deal? I would be eternally grateful, thanks.
xo,
penelope
5 comments:
May God give you the happy at peace Mom teflon coated raincoat to keep all those angry miserable moms from ever spreading their contagion to you.
Thank you.
Oh, Pen, I fear this too. While out shopping with Dillon the other day (who was very well-behaved, what can I say?), there was this lady with two kids and the older was playing with the younger and making him scream in delight. I know it was a scream, but it was a happy scream. And I thought she was going to rip the little girl's arm off if she didn't stop. Then she looked at us like, "Just you wait - this is coming for you." Shudders.
I'm embarassed for those Angry Moms that snap at their kids in public and fear for the kids and their sanity and happiness and health for what it must also be like in private. It just breaks my heart that anyone could treat something so little and vulnerable (and here again may come my own blindness/denial that children can in fact be devilish or severely trying) in such a perpetually cruel manner. Here's hoping those Angry Moms aren't always like that and can have good moments for and with their kids?
I think you have nothing to worry about, though, in ever becoming even close to Angry Mom, not even for a day (we all have moments) and even with wildly swirling pregnancy hormones to boot!
I baby-sit for a lot of those people. And I feel bad every time I see a kid get yelled at for being a kid. It's like David Sedaris said in the Elf story from "Holidays on Ice" -- babies cry. They're babies! It's part of the whole deal, just like happy screaming. One could just as soon get mad at a dog for barking (...though, truth be told, I have been guilty of that).
Anyway. I'm sure you won't go down that road, is my point. No worries. :)
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