testing

sunday i got in a discussion about why people respond to people who dress professionally- my friend said that as humans we logically respond to it, like thus it's inherently good or reasonable... i sort of think it's social programming. also we love shiny flashy things... basically what we're doing is a snow job on people. sort of like that milgram experiment about why the nazification of germany happened- bcs 66% of humanity will infact compromise their individual wills to "authority". which you know, keeps society afloat, i guess. i mean what is that line btw professionalism, acting our age...acting like an adult... what does that mean? does it? why does donning a suit or some conformist attire dictate our status or our authority and age. when really so much of it is a disguise. . . why does slouching against a counter behind a cash register convey negativity or non-professionalism? why would that convey a "bad experience"... i think about conforming at work, and in life, but i find most of it pretty laughable. the small petty rules that dictate a work existence. where peeing after you clock in basically amounts to cheating the clock... or selling the book is more important than being honest or making sure that every minute is accounted for.

well anyway i'm okay with it for the moment and i'm not quite sure why- there is a faint hammering in my heart. but i remain undaunted though the lack of funds rapidly encroaches... but then the hammering awakes something that i'd forgotten. i'd like to think i've changed and become a calmer and more patient person that the person that used to work in retail... that's for another post but the 2 have to reconcile... bcs the facts have not changed. my world is still opposed to the one i'm currently working in. and i find all the contrivences outrageous and yet. and yet. and yet. why?