Thursday, October 7, 2004

super-fantastic: malaise of the intellectual

so mendacious says:

hey penelope. hey imaginary readers.

i think i'm lost- tan but lost, and i'm getting sick of water and sunflower seeds for sustenance (and i'm not losing any weight)...with plenty of polar bears but no matthew fox. that about sums it up.

i don't want to "just" respond for the sake of ease but i will say this: (i am a jobless loser who still can't write even though she has nothing to do.) here's the thing-> i need a job. i feel guilty about not having a job. there's brief moments where i capitalize on this enormous freedom of time and advantage. but i fall into an abyss of "i should be" as quick as you might be strolling through the garden and then slip into shit. not cool. not pleasant. and no way to shake the smell and stink- of not thriving- off of you.

emoting makes me feel better.

how-to-thrive: be in a place where you're not treading water constantly to stay afloat while waiting for the life raft to come or the sharks to eat you. but we all have to tread water. how do we multi-task then. i think that's the question. how do we thrive... like collecting coconuts and getting a tan. or reading a book and jazzercizing at the same time (even though it makes me dizzy). . .so get over it, realize discipline sucks,and watch out for land mines.

mantra:
1-"charlie" will save me from a dreaded tropical disease.
2-the polar bears will have a mysterious respect for me, elevating me to "shaman" or "goddess" ie. one who tames bears.
3-learn french from stupid blonde before she either procreates or gets eaten by said bears.
4-watch for planes, pirate ships...
5-go on hikes into the jungle for days (make it as vague and mysterious as possible), mutter "the horror" "the horror" to the survivors you don't like.
6-while on hike spend time writing in secret journal- so that when you do get rescued it'll be published as either the ravings of a lunatic or the genius of a desperate and passionate survivor.
7-either way: you'll be famous.

No comments: