Dear Taco Bell,

Zesty Chicken Border Bowl?


Zesty Chicken Bor--


Zesty Chi--


Zes--


You think that's funny, punk? Let me just tell you, this recent ad campaign of yours causes my blood pressure to rise the instant I see that pompous jerk of a customer's face as he tests the validity of Taco Bell's claim of making the NEW Zesty Chicken Border Bowl the moment AFTER you order.


Let me say at the outset that I myself love some Taco Bell. Not the chicken products, mind, due to a negative experience with poultry slime back in the late '90s. Perhaps it was just the pico sauce. Regardless, on many occasions I do find myself craving such food products as Soft Tacos, Double Deckers, Nachos Supreme, Crunchy Tacos, the 7-Layer Burrito, and mmmm, remember that too-brief promo for the 7-Layer Nachos? The guacamole and the crispy red tortilla strips? Now that was a nice one.


And your commercials, too: Generally, I don't mind them and sometimes, as in the instance of your recent campaign with the men standing back and shouting about "getting full." Or something like that--it's random, it's catchy, it's kinda fun.


But, this correlary to the main ad campain, this complement commercial with the Zesty Chicken Border Bowl: The pompous ass-clown customer, the perkily apologetic girlfriend who in real life would never date such an ass-clown, and most importantly, the HARASSED TACO BELL EMPLOYEE--it is not working for me. Why, because the pompous ass-clown is essentially just fucking with the Taco Bell employee to see if he will really start making the border bowl the instant after the order was placed and not a second before.


And that Taco Bell employee is a human being.

He is a hired actor, yes, playing the part of a Taco Bell employee--one who takes his job entirely too seriously, which is a little dorky, yes, and untrue-to-life. But for all intensive purposes what this commercial does is:

Reinforce this sick food chain, pecking order, high-and-mighty BULL that threads through our society.


Believe it or not, the second they leave the building, the people who work at Taco Bell behind the counter more than likely do not give a flying fart about their job. (Even if they have brought home some of the food to eat. Ha. Sorrry.)


They are people, not toys to wind up and set down on the floor to watch go.


Just, have some respect.


It's just like the UPS commercial where the shiny lady in her 30s is just so happy to be serving the 40-ish man in his business suit. Because it is her job and she loves it!!!!


Do you love it?


Sincerely,
Not Loving It


P.S. Are you really "making" that NEW Zesty Chicken Border Bowl the instant after a person orders one? Or just assembling it with pre-cooked items like all the other tacos....Hmmm, yeah. I thought so.