Dear Chez Lo

Dear Staff,
Thank you so much for your care and attention to my needs, and directing me to the specifics of your facilities workings. Firstly, I'd like to address the more pragmatic concerns of your letter, in regards to my person, as naturally that is the most paramount to me.

Please forward the enclosed to the kitchen staff:

• Almonds, String Cheese, Apple Sauce, Sunflowerseeds, Carrots/Celery/RedPeppers-Hummus, Non/Low Fat Yogurt, plain with Granola, Fruit, giant kosher pickles, dark chocolate, Fruit, Almonds, Luna and or Clif Bars (but only if we're traveling long distances without breaks).
• Tea (Iced/Hot), Sparkling Water, Water, Small amounts of Lemonade/Cranberry Juice.
• Since my return from Cen/Am I'm trying to do small dinners and larger lunches...
• Breakfast: Oatmeal (flavored), Eggs (scrambled) w/Toast, Sausage, Bacon, Omelets, Oat Cereal (not wheat, just in case), Yogurt non flavored with fruit and or granola
• Lunch: Meat? (burgers, paninis, grilled meats, vege and salads)
• Dinner: Smaller portions of meat, more vege, and I'm open to tasty breads and BBQ. Did I mention grilling and I do actually like roasts and chilis. I do not like pasta as a general rule or olives, or sharpcheddar cheese, or processed meats)

Please forward the enclosed to Housekeeping:

• It depends on the quality and or make of said blankets. If we're talking a down comforter 1 is sufficient. Also in what conditions are the rooms kept? Temperature wise I mean? As a person I tend to run hot and like rooms to skew colder than warmer when I sleep and the blankets would then move in that direction to compensate. I hate waking up hot.
• The pillow question is interesting. Generally I like a multitude of pillows. But prefer they nestle me into a lovely hallow of comfort. If they slip about I will become dissatisfied.

Please forward to management and guest services:

• As to the general expectations of Chez Lo, I find this to be the most interesting, mainly that the children only garner one *asterisk. The linens, dogs, copious licking, that I get... I have on my previous visits witnessed Penelope (I believe she is one of the main residents of your facility), moving out of 1 house and into another, and then getting married, which also involved another house, and both of which involved dogs, wood floors, and some serious eyedaggers when I talked over Gilmore Girls. But these alleged "children" which may require Valium and or ear plugs is specifically the most disturbing thing in the entirety of the letter, though I will not gloss over their charm. Is there any research perhaps that I could do in preparation? What is their schedule? And what if they wake up and want something when I'm there watching them? I mean gasp. . . seriously. What is one to do with them? Also I can only gather by their continual mention that they do in fact exist... which is something I'm left to ponder alltogether on another level.

Please forward to event planning:

• I require a trip to the beach, a ghostwalk either pub or standard, an historical tour, and possibly a nature walk.
• I expect to watch the Office.
• It would be entertaining to workout in the gymroom if those services are available.
• And I would not object to art and craft time.
• Mix CD (themed for M's trip)

Again thank you so much for taking the time to brief me, and if you could enclose the aforementioned notes to the appropriate departments that would be much appreciated. I myself am looking forward tremendously to the scheduled reunion. That it will come off without a hitch with equal amounts of fun time, boredom, and scheduledness. It is most important that this particular guest feel included, and communicated to, even if the staff itself will not be available the entire time, if they need to work or to be shut up alone in a dark room. The guest also does not mind crafted itineraries or occasional spontaneity. But she does in general like to know what's coming. Again, so so excited! Thank you for opening up the Chez for this ocassion. I myself cannot wait.

Sincerely,

mendacious