it's like heart-break

whenever I go to the theatre there is a dull resounding ache. i don't think i've ever missed something so much; not even my home gives me this longing. i can't explain my love for this all consuming place or how to find my way back there. it's quite a maddening conundrum. really. i'm afraid it's something I'll never get to- how do i write or show the story of my life and explain my love for the black box without sounding like a jackass, and how do i invest myself in other things and not die of heartbreak.