war(s) of the worlds

here are some random things we learned from the original and the remake, both viewed within a 24-hour time period:

if the world is in trouble, like serious trouble, with the pavement cracking and giant, laser-beam-shooting tripods emerging from the earth, and buildings toppling, planes crashing, neighbors instantly vaporized, then go to boston. preferably a brownstone in boston. you will be safe there. be sure to don a sweater and smile vapidly.

if the well-dressed lady starts screaming hysterically on a dime, don't worry about smacking her like the lady in birds. she'll snap out of it eventually. and her hair will never move.

if on your quest for safety you end up in a watery, rat-infested basement, knock off tim robbins asap. he's crazy.

when the world is ending, you really don't need to eat, or drink water. ever. priorities, people.

if you absolutely must let your son run over the hill because he "has to see it [the aliens attacking, the death and destruction]," make your sophie's choice as quickly as possible and grab your daughter who needs protecting. your son will actually be fine and meet you in the end at the boston brownstone. even though you left each other somewhere in the vicinity of new york city, and neither of you have a car, or other valid means of transportation aside from your feet, and seemingly only a few days pass, through most of which you're squatting in the rat-infested basement with crazy tim robbins. you'll get there, to boston, the brownstone. on foot.

beating out alien attackers, imploding buildings, humans lasered to dusty bits, and the world as we know it coming to an end, and taking the title of Scariest Thing Ever is...the common cold.

conclusion: these movies both ROCK.