Thursday, July 14, 2005

I own a house

And I ate spaghetti and meatballs to celebrate. It was one of those places that just makes you feel like you're on vacation, with the cheesy Italian music playing, and families walking up in their pressed khakis and light blue polo shirts. And leftovers, lots of leftovers.

More pressing, though, is the recent pinpointing of my problem, the very source of my I Am Boring phase. The phase that makes me never want to write another word again, ever, in the attempts to create anything other than an email, or a grocery list. You see, it's my snarky voice. It went away, I'm convinced. I used to really believe, and maybe I still do, that yup, everything has been written about before, and there's nothing you can do to change that, and really, our common experiences are what bond us together. Basically, anything we ever go through, someone else is or has gone through, too. So you have to make it interesting when you write it down, and the way you do that is through Voice.

I used to have one, or I thought I did. Yet suddenly--well, not suddenly, this is an ongoing affliction--I feel no urge to record anything, because I feel boring. Like, Sub-Soccer Mom, Lump on the Couch, Floating through Life BORING. Everything's going pretty good in life, sure, with a few corporate exceptions, and... who cares. There's no story without conflict.

Yet, if you think about it, other than the particular category of life events I'm experiencing, I'm technically no more boring or interesting than before. The life events I had before, or the lack thereof, were surely just as cliche, even if they felt more tumultuous, or "deep," or whatever, at the time. (What were they, exactly?) That part is all perspective. It's just the voice that I've lost. The snark. Or even the hypersensitivity. Where did that go? The internal freaking out about elevators and having to socially interact. Now that was funny stuff.

I was thinking of leaving out a plate of cookies at night for Snarky Voice, to lure it home. Or shoes on the doorstep, or cheese in a trap, or even a tooth under my pillow. An empty basket? Snarky Voice, come home!I've got Willy Wonka candy, a big bowl of it. Runts, Nerds, a little Laffy Taffy...

I will wait. In the meantime, there are boxes of plates, vases, and rocks (yes, rocks) to be packed.

1 comment:

mendacious said...

other essential definitions...

SARCASM
sarcasm 2) a: a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual b : the use or language of sarcasm

WIT
1 a : MIND, MEMORY b : reasoning power : INTELLIGENCE
2 a : SENSE 2a -- usually used in plural -alone and warming his five wits, the white owl in the belfry sits -- Alfred Tennyson- b (1) : mental soundness : SANITY -- usually used in plural (2) : mental capability and resourcefulness : INGENUITY
3 a : astuteness of perception or judgment : ACUMEN b : the ability to relate seemingly disparate things so as to illuminate or amuse c (1) : a talent for banter or persiflage (2) : a witty utterance or exchange d : clever or apt humor
4 a : a person of superior intellect : THINKER b : an imaginatively perceptive and articulate individual especially skilled in banter or persiflage
- at one's wit's end or at one's wits' end : at a loss for a means of solving a problem
synonyms WIT, HUMOR, IRONY, SARCASM, SATIRE, REPARTEE mean a mode of expression intended to arouse amusement. WIT suggests the power to evoke laughter by remarks showing verbal felicity or ingenuity and swift perception especially of the incongruous -a playful wit-. HUMOR implies an ability to perceive the ludicrous, the comical, and the absurd in human life and to express these usually without bitterness -a sense of humor-. IRONY applies to a manner of expression in which the intended meaning is the opposite of what is seemingly expressed -the irony of the title-. SARCASM applies to expression frequently in the form of irony that is intended to cut or wound -given to heartless sarcasm-. SATIRE applies to writing that exposes or ridicules conduct, doctrines, or institutions either by direct criticism or more often through irony, parody, or caricature. REPARTEE implies the power of answering quickly, pointedly, or wittily...