(sniff) I'm crying inside.
REQUESTS:
I'm taking requests, If you'd like a story about anything please let me know. It's sort of like those games on those sketch comedy shows... so feel free to give me a couple suggestions. ie. I want a story about or involving [x/y]. Also feel free to demand things of Penelope. I can also do pictures but I don't promise anything... [also, also, so as not to repeat the yearbook fiasco- i am serious about this. i want to write and i want you to help me]...
5 comments:
a germ from Johann. Thanks Johann.
Alright, here it is, today's story suggestion:
There's a man, Murdock, he's a chimney sweep. A mighty good chimney sweep. But a lonely chimney sweep, though he doesn't dwell on this. To his friends he seems very contempt, but to his dog, he can not hide his ture emptiness. A void created by a lost love, Anastasia. God she was beautiful, and a damn good roofer too. Best fucking roofer Murdock ever saw, and as a chimney sweep, he knew a few. But she's gone now, and he's just going to have to deal with that. Then one day, he gets a call: "Murdock, how have you been?....Listen, I've got a job out near you. Can I borrow your ladder?" 'Your' ladder she called it. It used to be 'our' ladder.
So he drives to the job site and lets her borrow 'his' ladder. Despite everything inside of him telling him not to, he follows her up on the roof to talk. That's when a gust of wind or something blows the ladder over, and they are stuck up there together. With a storm coming!!!
Have at it.
You don't like it, do you? Fine.
Suppose a woman is restoring an old house, prys back the horrid '70's paneling in the parlor and finds a door...where does it lead? what does she find?
There was a gathering darkness.
They peer over the edge of the roof and Anastasia starts to laugh.
"Why are you laughing? That was MY ladder!"
"I know."
Her face, flush from the cold, had never looked so beautiful to him than at that moment.
"That's what happened to my ladder last week. Some punk tried to run off with it after it fell and then busted the foot. So it's in for repairs. I ended up shimming down an overgrown vine, hell on a roof, but it saved my ass."
Suddenly aware that he is so close to the edge, Murdock, backs off into the center of the steep roof. Another gust picks up and he glances around.
"This looks bad."
"I've seen worse."
"That's what you always say Anastasia and it isn't true!"
He furtively looks for the chimney and practically runs to it, as drops of rain pelt the roof.
"It's just a little rain," she says.
And with that a crack of lightening and thunder- the rain begins to penetrate the warmth of their clothes. Something in the distance falls.
"I think I can get down this chimney."
"Are you nuts? You'll get stuck. You remember that one time when,"
"I don't want to reminisce!"
"Hey, what's your problem?! It's not like we've never been stuck in rain."
There is no response but his furtive grasp on the brick of the chimney.
She sighs and surveys the situation.
"Damn fine time to give my assistant the day off," she mutters, looking into the distance. And with that, she jumps down onto the patio roof.
Murdock yells, "No!"
She rises laughing, and says, "You never used to be so afraid. Remember when we used to-"
He slips a little as he moves toward her and he sits down on the roof. He futily wipes his hands with his face.
Anastasia turns from him and is about to slide down the support beam of the porch when Murdock leaps down and grabs her, pulling her back onto the roof. She pushes him off and he falls back onto the roof hurting his back. He gets up anyway and says, "Look."
"The water is rising. River must've run over. Pretty quick. That's not so mu-"
She is stopped when she sees a dead terrior getting sloshed down the street.
"Gross! Do you see-" she says.
"I saw that," he says, pointing to the downed electrical utility pole. He rubs his back and crawls back up onto the main roof and to the chimney. He leans against it and thankfully, not unlike when "Earnest" goes to "Camp"- and he sings that song, with that little turtle, you can't see that i'm crying because of the rain... he cries, if only for a moment.
"I'm sorry," Anastasia says.
She is met with silence.
"Really, really I am."
"You never took me seriously," says Murdock, "I was always just this chimney sweep joke- always Bert to your Mary Poppins. Garth to your Wayne..."
"That's why I laugh, because your funny."
He can't help but crack a smile.
"No I'm serious."
"I know."
Her words coming out in clouds of breath. She goes toward him and slips. He catches her and they sit down together against the chimney.
But somewhere deep down Murdock knows this moment won't last, and it doesn't. His cell phone starts blarring and he jumps.
"Oh, shit! I forgot-"
He answers the phone.
"Oh my god, yes! Yes. I'm trapped on this roof and there's downed wires. Yes. I love you too. It's 8434 Alton. No, stay where you are. I'll call the- I will. I'll explain later. Okay."
Murdock swings his cell phone shut. His mood lightening at the prospect of being saved.
"You're an idiot," Anastasia blurts out as she rolls her eyes.
In order to avoid her he calls the police. The phone snaps shut again and goes deep into his pant pocket. He turns to Anastasia, who looks as she always has, beautiful, even more so, in the soft light of a raging storm.
"Who do you love?" Her words hit him like a clap of thunder.
"I,"
She shrugs, "You don't have to explain."
"We have some time," Murdock says.
He goes on to try and set everything right, all the fumbling words and the cold shaky hands. She laughs. They both seem to understand, that if there hadn't been a cell phone and the flood waters would've been higher, things might've been different.
damn realism. in my alternate version however he does manage to shimmy down the chimney- find the boat in the shed, thank god, while she dives into the water having seen that the power has really gone out to get supplies- see if anything isn't wet and hey, what's in the fridge. then they load the boat, save a cat and it's the most beautiful moment the two of them have ever shared as they float down the street. (the kiss doesn't come until 40 pages later.)
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