So you want to be a member of MENSA?

yes, this a blatant vanity project. i hold no pretense. on this basis i wouldn’t have told anyone at all but this is just another notch in the line of getting to know me, which, as it is, is a life long project. as my parents failed to give me such tests growing up- i have to do it now as an after thought. plus i feel something has to make up for my abismal SAT scores. i got an 830- sure i laugh about it NOW, but part of me really wants to have qualified into some elitist academic institution. although i admit my extra curriculars were not at all well rounded and i doubt my essays were going to be as focused as they needed to be. (as my friend said, i can’t do it all- but i can certainly try)

so my prequalifying test gave me a “raw score” of 75. and I think, why do i have trouble doing my taxes? now apparently this means i’m in the top 2 precentile, I’m at the bottom of the top 99. and i wonder why i can’t spell. my IQ on this pre-qualifying test is 137. so i note here that I am on the bottom rung of high intelligence. just hanging on by a thread. a tenuous one at that, not unlike a deep dark wide abyss, putting me as i see it, in a no mans zone of being exceedingly smart but not qualifying as genius. i have a touch of pompus ass (clearly) and a dash of eccentricity but really i lack the drive to follow through on all my wunderkind potential- i blame my parents.

now to join MENSA i have to take another “real” test and see if i fall from grace or can improve my score, blaming perhaps my poor performance on a lack of protein, proper sleep or maybe the hum of the computer which i could’ve turned off but it was my clock, my clock. my precious marker of time.

i would feel a little more secure if i wasn’t so close to the bottom. and let’s be honest if we had a national MENSA gathering and someone asked me my IQ i might be a little insecure in acknowledging that it was 137- and not 141, bcs let’s face it that sounds way better. i’d have to skulk to the lower intelligence orders (the table by the kitchen)- and maybe there’d be a surly hot guy there who also joined MENSA because he was bored and jobless one day, and he said well what the fuck man, let’s see what i’m fucking made of... yah. mmm hot smart guys. i can’t wait. then the other downside is occupation. sure i can ask the other smart people if they know of any exceedingly smart jobs and i could say, well do you know of any? and then they would say, why don’t you have one? at which point i’d be stuffing an hor ‘dorouvs(can’t spell) in my mouth and waving them off saying, oh you, what a lark i was joking... not to mention that i can’t speak any other languages. i’m a fucking juggernaut of untapped potential. a wastrel of a human being , an unhappy resource of woe.

as it is i'll contemplate stepping off the precipice of unbridled vanity in the hopes of meeting said hot guy and flying off to his private island (fictional raft not needed). hey hot guy?! are you there?!

"to be genius is to be mad, to be anything else is mediocre."