Here's the rope.

JOBLESS COUNTDOWN.

Day 1) so in order to stay for the recommended 2 wks we only have 10 tapes for 10 days. each tape is about an hour long if we’re lucky. so that’s one tape per day for 8 hours. if i don’t want to work myself out of a job which i don’t nor do my colleagues- i can only do less than the bare minimum and i have to make sure they don’t catch me using the internet.

POSSIBLE AMUSEMENTS1: I’ve figured out i can type into the Pilotware Program at work. I can compose entire emails, write the beginning of my novel or blog in this manner and won’t arise the immediate suspicion of anyone walking by. i’m doing it right now in fact. bcs it looks like i’m logging a tape. in addition I can listen to internet radio and plug my head phones into the CPU so it sounds like I’m listening to footage AND i just have to intermittently hit the PLAY button on the screen. this fucking rocks.

2. you know, 1 should really cover it but let’s say i want to take a break from typing. and i only have a big book to read- okay that’s not going to work. i’d have to prop it out of view and will only use this method as a last resort.

3) i already compulsively eat sunflower seeds and as a result get thirsty and as a result drink water which results in bathroom trips and chapstick applications. that actually kills time and! stretches your legs.

4) i may use scratch paper to draw. that could be fun,

5) start paper ball fights. this only works occassionally and in a limited capcity as my fellow coworkers fear reprisal. so you can understand if it’s only me assulting everyone else. they usually become resentful as they fear being retaliatory bcs of the possible reprisal. It’s perfect but becomes boring after a while as all perfect things must.

6) start up unnecessary conversation and interrupt people for the large part of the day. this works great and i have at least 4 people i interrupt with conversation- easy start ups: the weather, what i just read on CNN, the word of the day from M-Webster, and emails that piss me off that i’ve received from totally irksome people.

7) accidently hit peoples chairs as you walk by. this is good for a quick laugh. it’s more playful than malicious and people usually can’t figure out why you did it.

8) redecorate your desk- this could involve creative use of post it notes (which reminds me as a last resort you can always ask if people need something from the supply room. this is a great time killer.

9) keep going to the breakroom for tea, hot chocolate- ice cubes.

10) think about places to travel. fully justify your use of time with the phrase, well I’m getting paid for it. take plenty of breaks and keep watching for the snack tray. it always comes at 4.