M's Guide for the last gasps of Summer TV

Ok so uh, Pen's list was not encouraging to me. What if you're boycotting the olympics? Or using that as an excuse for your patent disinterest? Or that you gave up the hills long ago when LC totally chose that tool over Paris. Like whatever. Or how when you're home working on paintings and you get sucked into lifetime dramas like 7 Things to Do Before Your 30 and she completes every single one of them in 2wks or Teenage Confessions of a Hollywood Starlet that seriously almost looks like Lindsey and ends up learning how to live like a normal person in Ft Wayne Indiana of all places... I mean, like, what am I suppose to do? Watch Nancy Drew staring that girl from Psych? Maybe. Even though her face totally freaks me out for some reason.

But when you climb out from the abyss and shake your head like, what the fuck was I on, and how did I get here in these weird clothes, with that fucking bunny tattoo staring at me from my left breast, then yes, I say, continue to watch Project Runway even though I suspect its totally rigged- if Tim Gunn can make a jump to linen, he may pull it off... and Psych absolutely! Though Monk I feel is more of a spaz then he used to be? I just haven't been fond of the plots of late. But Psych. Dammit. Totally endearing. And besides that, catching episodes of my life on the D list with Kathy Griffin. Just waiting for those precious Netflix to come my way... and watching old MurderSheWrote Ep's and maybe Seinfeld.

Current Netflix Order:

• SIX FEET UNDER SEASON 4 (death. excellent character development. soulless)
  
• SLINGS & ARROWS SEASON 2, 3 (ah shakespeare troupes!)
  
• PENNIES FROM HEAVEN (early steve martin?)
  
• RIFIFI (it's like a french classic or whatever)

Your Guide to Summer Fare, by M

These are the times I test Pen's love of me. It's a wonder we unite on anything with our Tv tastes... even worse now that we have no common interest shows to unite us. Ah, trying times. I don't know if I can narrow it down to June specifically but currently my top picks for all things media,

WHAT to WATCH:

• Law&Order: Criminal Intent. It doesn't get better than the slightly manic Robert Goren and as a plus for you StC fans, Chris Noth. The ladies have sass and are awesome to watch as well.
• Kathy Griffin: My life on the D-List. She's got a biting sarcasm and wit and I dig her candid nature.
• RENO:911: Everything I watch has to be hyphenated. And besides its crasser moments, there's some eccentric awesome comedy to be had.
• Monk: He'll be back in July. I'm loyal even though ever since Sharona left it's become a bit characterless and with the death of the actor that played his shrink I'm sorta bummed. I'm on the fence with this one.

Bonus watch:

• PSYCH. It's camp but completely charming.
• Dirty Jobs, Deadliest Catch: Wry humor, weirdness and men. Why not.
• UNTAMED&UNCUT: Hello, I work on it. Watch it people.
• Southpark Reruns.

NETFLIX: Cue it UP

1. Cadfael Mysteries: Byzantine monk solves mysteries. Saweet!
2. Slings and Arrows: British Shakespeare Theatre Trope. Reliving all things theatre.
3. Six Feet Under: Season3: I'm seasonably behind but loving it.
4. Weeds 3: (may save this one for later. It's at the bottom of the que currently but I will probably want a little spice with my dash of death come July.
5. Smattering of documentaries, independents, comedies, series work and period pieces.

WHAT TO READ: randomness...

• Helen of Troy: A new retelling on all things titillating and classic.
• The Clever Woman of the Family (brought to you by dodo press)
• The Mill on the Floss (Eliot)
• Green Dolphin Street

Backups for extreme boredom:

• HULU.com
• WB.beta test
• Netflix Watch Now
• Going outside emergency trip list: sailing, seaweed collecting, tanning, working in the garden.

your guide to JUNE summer fare, by pen

What to Watch:
1. Gossip Girl reruns on the CW, clearly.*
2. Season 3 of WEEDS, Netflixed. Or if you are luckier than me and have Showtime, Season 4.
3. Top Chef, although that's almost over. P.S. LISA CANNOT WIN. Do I have your agreement?
4. Legally Blonde the Musical: The Search for Elle Woods. Yes, mendacious, really. It's kind of... not that bad. It sort of fills the ANTM void, in a way.

Possibly, if there's time in between eating fresh salsa and popsicles and watermelon:
1. Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List. It's better than Kathie Lee Gifford: I'm on the Today Show Now But My Skin Is Still Orange.
2. Swingers... I don't know. If you must. If you're braver than me. Let me know how it is, though.
3. My Boys? Again, let me know. I'm too disillusioned to try.
4. The Mole. I don't really know what to say about The Mole. Maybe? Nah, forget it.
5. Hopkins: But let's be honest, it's not going to fill the Grey's Anatomy void, so why bother.
6. Fear Itself. I can't bash this one, because it actually looks pretty good--if you like horror. Which I do not. But if you do, by all means watch it, and I promise not to mock you.
7. The Bachelorette? Anyone? Anyone?

When to Read a Book Instead:

1. America's Got Talent. Run away, run away from the television.

2. Nashville Star. Sorry, I just can't.

3. Celebrity Circus, hosted by Joey Fatone. Make it stop. Please. Make it stop.

4. I Survived a Japanese Game Show. Can it get any worse?

5. Wipeout, which is described as a "cross between MXC, Fear Factor, and America's Funniest Home Videos." Yes, yes it can get worse. But surely that's as bad as it gets?

6. The Scoop, or "The Singing Bee meets The Office," hosted by Joey Fatone. And for this, I have no words.

*A note about GG: they are not acutally showing reruns in order. It's quite vexing. Should I save the episodes and watch them in order later, in a GG marathon, or just watch them as is with the disappointment of spoilers. I know not.

PSA: Gossip Girl

For those of you who share my summer goal of catching up on Gossip Girl, the CW is airing the pilot on Sunday night, and then the following episode on Monday night, so I imagine they will then air the entire season over the course of the summer. Starting at the very beginning. On TV, instead of the stop-start, small-screened jumpiness of online viewing.

Clearly the program schedulers have read our blog and set it all up, just for me. Program those DVRs! and discuss with me.

In related news, the Summer of Books is also well underway, as I spent the better part of this weekend "lolling out in the yard, watching the children play," with a book in hand, or a magazine, whichever. Of course it's going to be scorching hot before you know it, but until them, I'm soaking it up. It's idyllic. It's kind of heaven, letting your mind and self just "be."

Penelope out.

Summer Goals, by M

Oh Shenanigans.

A Summer Goals List:

1. Obsess about the TRIP
2. Think about ways to earn money for the TRIP
3. Think about ways to stay employed bcs of the TRIP
4. Start buying things for the TRIP
5. Continue to be irritated for the $1000+ I have to pay for registration and car insurance in July.
   

Normally I would obsess about things like:

1. Go Whale Watching for the great blue whale.
2. Go kayaking in La Jolla Cove
3. Go sailing on a replica of an 1847 Schooner
4. Go swimming
5. Go seaweed collecting
6. Go to the beach more... it's like a nautical summer.
   
7. Read at least 2 books aloud to mom outside in the garden.
8. Take conversational french despite my utter reluctance.
   

And then if I want to go hard core:

1. Stitch together quilt
2. Make summer dress from last year
3. Finish tear drop walkway
4. Create walkway for front house.
5. Figure out a way to go to Seattle to visit Matt and visit Pen in NC. Both also in nautical oriented locations.
   

You see how the summer could go a couple ways here. Utter fixation on funds and or lack there of in anticipation of the trip, consumed with arduous tasks that yield long term results, or brief flings that also cost money or.... sitting in my yard and trying to do as little as possible since we still don't have air conditioning. I don't know. I just don't. Though I have a feeling it's going to be a good one. Let's hope.