m,

New fish in the tank. We bought a dozen this time, J.Lo insisted. Something about the casualty ratio not cutting so deep? It is rather dandy to see so many happy little fish swimming around. They are all barbs, 4 different colors. Not only were they bright, but I thought “barb” sounded a little bad-ass, like just try to nip my fins, bitch. (I’m talking to you, evil little danio(s).) So we’ll see where all that ends up.

I’m tired. And a little blue. It’s the blue moon tomorrow, which I find kind of interesting for a New Year’s Eve. But am currently beating self up over a Mommie Dearest moment I had this afternoon with the incorrigible K.Lo. I guess there’s nothing to do but move on (which we did), but I have a terrible, looming fear of ruining her, sometimes, with my fire. Which kills me since I love her so much.

Moving on. The birthday party-planning is underway, and this year we’re going not-as-big. Which to me is kind of great, as am actually sticking to financial commitments while knowing she’ll still have a fun time. Something about a park, and Valentine/Groundhog Day party favors, and princess cupcakes? Perhaps even a grand plan involving conversation heart sugar cookies? I’m just saying.

Currently overwhelmed with mundane maintenance-type things like laundry and toy sorting and the eventual de-Christmassing that will occur in full this weekend. As well as a few activities my event planner annoyingly penciled in to my Friday/Saturday schedule, which I basically can’t wait to be over and done with. I swear. Do I need to hire a new staff, or what.

Tomorrow holds: the library, to pick up Adventureland, Up (if they haven’t taken it off the hold shelf—*wah wah*), and another book I’m thinking about to balance out the weight of human-trafficking media. I can’t remember the name of the book, but have memorized the first half of the author’s last name with the mnemonic device of Jack Bauer. The last name starts with Bauer. I can find it, yo. Employee dropoff at parent company will be around 3PM, which is just plain exciting, as will have a few hours All.To.Myself! And a Blue Moon New Year’s Eve party/potluck in the evening with all lucky foods. So I’ve got to come up with something… cowboy caviar w/ black-eyed peas is at the top of my list, perhaps served with blue chips. Will be rad to a) actually have plans on NYE and b) celebrate with friends. Haven’t done that in awhile. Oh, and c) not pick up children ‘til the morning. Cheers to 2010!

Yoga today was good as the intent was to work hard. Which I did. And did I mention my new yoga pants? They actually fit, which is terribly exciting. But I was thrown for a loop when my teacher mentioned that she does not view yoga as a spiritual practice, but solely as a body workout? Which I’m like… huh. I mean, maybe we have different definitions of spiritual, and I’m certainly not going to gym yoga for spiritual growth, like what an oxymoron. But, what’s with the intents (i.e. peace, gratitude, strength) she suggests at the beginning of each class, then? Is it even possible to do yoga without the spiritual side, at least certain shades of it? Would that be like yoga without a soul?

But then, since yoga is so very personal… I guess the point is moot. You practice as you practice, and that is that.

But still.

I’m off to bed for now, left to ponder these things—or perhaps it is better to not ponder at all, when the blue moon looms,

pen