m,

So does anyone even send Christmas cards anymore? I have gotten a few, but not nearly as many as last year, and so I’m guessing that either a) friends are just as far behind as I am and/or b) the tradition is dying out. And/or c) Thriftiness is more prevalent this year. Although there were some killer deals lurking on the Internets, and I’ve got a fistful of cards procured for just over $3. And yet my recipients list seemed random and not nearly complete, resulting in many leftover cards, the question of well, should I pursue more addresses…?, and the overall feeling of *unfinished.* But, as Christmas is in a week’s time, we must let it go and press on.

I’ve decided on a resolution for this year. Unlike last year, when I listed every desirable improvement that entered my mind in the manner of an unfiltered verbal tic, I am choosing just one. The solid, concrete goal of learning to coupon. Couponing, defined, goes above and beyond the normal use of coupons, which I clip periodically and use occasionally when the retail stars align. In couponing, you combine manufacturer coupons, in-store coupons, and in-store specials to obtain ridiculous deals. It’s a skill, a sport, and an art, and while I’ve just begun to learn the ropes, eventually I would like to master the activity, with a focus on deal-pinpointing efficiency and procurement of the best, most effective coupons. Occasionally, I feel like it might be more of a hassle than it’s worth, but it’s sort of a game as well, and the victories will be enjoyable. Not to mention easy on my wallet.

So intermittently, I complain, or break down, or even spiral down into very dark places re: finances, and while in those dark places I may even question whether or not God listens, cares, etc. Like haven’t I learned my lesson yet, or suffered enough, may be examples of running-through-my-mind questions, which may or may not be excessively dramatic. Isn’t it time to provide the tools or means to conquer this burden? However slow, I would be open and accepting of anything. Well, after a very dark week’s beginning, I acknowledge some light. 1) Couponing: that it even came to my attention, that it is entirely within my power to master. That’s a tool. 2) Additional paying work, that is small at the moment, but is most definitely *something* and represents a larger door with potentially substantial opportunities in the longer-term. That’s some means. It’s a door I was so excited to have opened, I may or may not have cried my face off for over an hour, depending on who you ask. (Don’t question the children. Embarrassing.) I felt very definitely when applying for this position over a month ago that it was meant to be, and then it wasn’t, or so I thought, and then it was, and at the most interesting possible time, and well, now I know. He does listen.

And then I also think about your comments re: burdens, and a financial burden, however self-made, however painful and difficult to overcome, could be different and so much worse. Very true. I know that, I’m appreciative that it’s this and not that. (Although, God, if you *are* listening, I would like to point out how many more resources I could have at my disposal to serve others, should the financial crisis ever be solved. Digression. I know. Maybe the path is intentionally difficult, and I get that, but I’m just saying.)

Otherwise: it’s time to get down to business with some yoga podcasting, at some point, because my brain could use a break. Just a few minutes free from over-analysis, lack of patience in so many areas of life, and maybe even the desire for sugar. Because I like it, a lot, especially in the form of Oreo bonbons. Yum.

xo,

pen