HIATUS

Dear Blog-Nation,

We here at Pen&M want to wish you a happy new year and thank you for your readership because of which our screams, words and chuckles have existed in a non-void like place that is usually filled with fluff and stuff and fuzzy bunnies. As the new year clicks into place with the precision that roman calendars maintain we will be going dark as of right now. Today. Ooo, ominous. Yes, as Bruckner says, this is a stunt, a mere ploy for comments and adulation. We totally want those. There's no denying. But take heart, it's only for a month. We have some uh, things we need to do. It's funny because upon review of the first year it was a struggle to blog. We were always disappearing for scads of time- we actually waited for inspiration to strike, and now you know it comes like everyday. Like magic. And we've never gone dark not like ever. And even as I write this the secret golom part of us is rocking back and forth and saying, no, precious, no. Mainly because the blog is under our skin, is so much a part of how we communicate that without it, i don't know what we'll do with ourselves... okay there's like one thing. But anyway we'll be back in February. And we write this because we need to be held accountable to leaving. Otherwise one of us will be up in a stash writing secret posts about our last nights adventures or that one guy over there, fucking heckling us. Fucker. But look, we're assembling this blog into a book. Ooo, i said that outloud. Fuck. Anyway, wish us luck, take time to stroll through our archives and find the strength to keep blogging without us. We'll be watching. And we want your snark and your verve to get us through the dark nights, and be there when we return. Cuz we're selfish like that. We love you.

Most Sincerely, Your Humble Servants,

Mendacious and Penelope

resolve

And I'm not talking about carpet cleaner, although my mom says we can keep their carpet cleaner, which we borrow periodically to clean our one carpet that is a magnet for dog-hair-and-whatever, since they hardly have any carpets left to clean anymore. (It's all becoming hardwood.) Although, maybe that should be a resolution. All right. Here we go.

In the year 2008, I, pen, resolve to:

1. Make sure we clean the carpet more, using above-referenced carpet cleaner.

2. Loll about in the already-green pasture, i.e. ENJOY what we ALREADY have. I ruminated a bit on this idea previously, and I'm driven to really keep with it. Like, instead of buying any new movies this year, even if they're only $5.50, like at Target, or pre-viewed on Netflix, I should watch we already have. Because we have quite a collection and do not need more. Oh, and kids, we don't need anymore kids right now, for pete's sake. And when shopping, when "needing" anything new, I want to think through carefully and asess whether a) we really need it, b) we need it now or can we wait and ask for it for birthday/Christmas, or c) if we could just plain do without. Or maybe there's something we already have that's similar, or maybe we have the materials needed to make it. Or whatever. That sort of mindset, to back off from excess and waste, and move toward conservation, inventiveness, etc, is what I'm talking. And let's be honest, all this geeky, socially responsible, yawn-inducing talk is really all about:

3. Decreasing the debt. I want to end the year 2008 with LESS DEBT than 2007. I don't want more debt, I don't want the same amount of debt, I want LESS DEBT. Even if it's by a dollar. The high-interest mess gets tackled first. I want to do what it takes, in all the ways that I plausibly can.

4. Have a big yard sale. Not just for the money to go toward Resolution 3, because you can never really expect to make a whole lot--they're a total crapshoot, dependent on so many cosmic factors. But we just have a lot of clothes and VHS tapes and vacuum cleaners and other stuff we're simply done with that is all piling up in a designated Yard Sale Heap. It's in the corner of the guest bedroom, it's becoming quite the mountain, and I can't wait to see it gone. The air will be so much more lovely to breathe after crawling out from under that pile of bricks.

Lastly, I resolve to:

5. Revisit this post at year's end and blog about whether I actually pulled off these resolutions.

Oh, and on that note! Looking back at last year's Eve, where I pondered the notion of how one brings in the New Year: I ended that post imagining/hoping/predicting that 2007 would be "quiet and yet magical, filled with family and low-key good vibes" based on our evening of Harry Potter, one bottle of champagne, chicken parm, and a K.Lo. Did that come true? I don't know that I would call it low-key or quiet. In some ways it was. It was definitely filled with family and many good vibes. So let me not antagonize fate and sloppily approach the Eve of 2008. This year, I am spending New Year's Eve:

showered and flossed (very important)

marathoning Season 3 of The Office

playing Magnetix after K.Lo goes to bed

hoping to hell K.Lo actually goes to bed

drinking just a little rum and Coke

and...dinner.

I don't know what to do about dinner. We have no available, non-interest-based fundage sources to purchase a fun, festive holiday dinner, such as Chinese food. Or 7-layer burritos from Costco. We have some materials on hand. And I suppose, looking at Resolutions 2 and 3 that I need to work with it. Or do I save that for tomorrow. Gah. Frozen fish patties it is? Bleh. Must summon creative forces.

Happy New Year, everyone! Good luck with all your own resolutions, and enjoy the day.

retrospective, by pen

2007 'lights

The Highs
-watching K.Lo grow
-had an N.Lo
-deepened love for The Office
-J.Lo makes me laugh every day
-enjoyed the iPod
-discovered Brett Dennen, Josh Rouse
-went to see Waitress twice
-made new friends, got to know existing friends better
-joined writers' group, actually wrote something
-J.Lo's computer resurrected/hijacked by ME
-figured out cookies
-ate lots of cookies
-lots of fun emails
-started a new blog
-sometimes K.Lo slept
-some golden family moments
-no traffic infractions
-the Library Book Sale
-visits from family and friends
-reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
-can say I've been to Connecticut

The Lows
-Being Green, for a little while
-The Death Sick
-the Writers' Strike
-mostly K.Lo didn't sleep
-that time I considered leaving the country/briefly hated life
-haven't seen m for yet another long year
-Ash moved away
-missed Kim's wedding
-those last 3 weeks being pregnant were really vexing
-giant bag of money did not fall from sky

The In-Betweens
-moved on from 2 friendships, still have yet to rumiblog on these matters
-overly eventful travels, on occasion
-debt level, didn't make any headway
-sometimes my house seemed really clean and organized, and sometimes it seemed a mess
-patience level had many valleys and peaks
-my garden grew really well, but we ended up not using a lot of the tomatoes, or the herbs, which sadly fried
-I read a lot of good books, but really need to read more
-the price of gas goes up, but then it goes down
-not sure ethanol is the answer

M's Resolve... and Retrospective.

1. it's a small goal but going down just a wee inch on my waist is what i really want for '08.
2. i also want my debt to be lower. it seems with as much as i made this year, i'm trying to figure out why my debt isn't gone... but that's because i have no sense of perspective. so clearly things must have been bought and some things paid down.
3. organizing my art and writing and getting that shite put togetha'
4. the first two things seem firmly within my means- the rest that i'd write like leaving the country are on the whims of circumstance... so i'll leave them there and hope for the best.

GRR, MOMENTS:

• being stuck at borders for 3 months into '07.
• a couple friends acting like big smelly turds.
• writers strike
• running over a steel beam in the highway, getting a ticket for crossing a white line

TOP MOMENTS:

• having the longest job run ever.
• can you say camping! joshua tree, doheny beach, (sequoias.)
• water-rafting in colorado and the cross country road-trip
• san francisco and bourbon
• the mighty dolphins of march
• getting a new car, winning my white tix defense

Dammit it if it wasn't a good year... it totally rocked.

a removed telling of a familar tale, by m.

this story is an old one. it is about a father and his daughter. but it never was the way it was suppose to be, and so the names which signify much lay in ruin. and ever since she was very young there arose between them an abyss. as she grew he was never there, could not afford the time and she was not the daughter he needed her to be. she had a contentious mouth. she argued. she did not bow with respect and adoration at his title and revere him but demanded instead he live up to all its implications because he was a man, an adult, a father. and often the weight was too much to comprehend and he could not bear it. father. head of the house. support. spiritual. . . she had lost faith before the time where memory takes hold. and he did not fight for it but let it drop countless times with anger, pride and impotent gestures for control. and yet many times she was assured of his love by her mother but never did the word pass his lips. never did he hug her or she know what it was to feel an affectionate embrace. but people do not think of these things when they think of father and daughter. and yet, this daughter has never known them. her father has always been far away. wounded by her words, any gesture she might make never enough. she could not reach him. many days over the years she yearned for his death, because living with him was like living with an angry and pathetic ghost. and she moved away. but debt and circumstance and her love for her mother drew her back and as much as she forgave them, had compassion for their imperfection his shell still rose her to a rage, at a word, at his arrogance, his ignorance, his inability to breach the way things were with the way things were suppose to be. and no matter how many stories she told of the difficulty, of the spite that rules him even now, people cannot understand how little in his mind he sees her. cannot hear her say his name with no response. dad. and as often she tried his dumb depressed look would snap it all back so no progress was made. and that if i could slip him a pill called therapy and medication i would do it. you will say even now this is a one-sided story. but these facts remain: he has never said he loves me, he has never hugged me. and when on christmas we suggested we find something to watch or listen together as a family he suggested we watch whatever it was in my room. alone. on christmas. because even the signifier of such a holiday and such a time meant very little to a man who is selfish and trapped in a silent desperate scream, as his body edges toward death and he hunches, stoops and shuffles. only the knowledge that i should not wish for his death keeps me from uttering it too sincerely, that instead his redemption, that the better of his humanity would bring him to his knees. that he would see. but i still remain on the cutting edge of hate. waiting with a breath to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. at when mom and i played a geography game over a 30min drive he finally muttered in impatience, yellowstone. jesus-christ. because we had run out of things that began with y. and i want that to be funny. how he does not speak. only talks about himself. plays the victim, how now, he sees his mortality and stares at the wall and will not open his presents because we yelled at him and called him selfish. but no, it's not funny. it's a tragedy of a man's life who will have a eulogy but not love, have everything exactly the way he wants but not a daughter.

the controversial bathroom post of '07

we all have things about us that we'd rather not let people examine closely, certain areas of our lives if laid bare would show us a dingy and disorganized person. that perhaps if that place were seen people would judge and criticize and sometimes whatever they say, whatever the examination means is possibly true. and is that really something to feel bad about? it's truth. it's the reality of the situation. the truth about our bathroom is that it's half done and in disrepair. and that it's been this way for 20 years. since 1988. since i was 12. that i grew up with a mortification of anyone having to come over and use it. that over time i became less embarrassed, less distressed and uptight about such a thing bcs over so long those feelings wore away to a tiny little bit of fact. normal people would react this way. normal people would feel humiliated. my parents gift and curse is that they can overlook a lot of things so much so that they no longer see things for what they are and only if reminded, if people are coming over, or i point to it does mom realize the way normal people might react. everday this bathroom bothers me. our kitchen bothers me... the floor rotting away bothers me. bcs part of my gift and curse is that my eye always roves for an aesthetic perfection and it never stops. the bathroom became this way because the old plaster doesn't match with the now old new drywall. my parents came against the problem and their pause became a halt which became a stop which became a forgotten. and it had very little to do with money...at the end, after all this time. so after 20years a very old galvanized pipe sprang a leak and as my mom had suspected for sometime there was moisture building- and only confirmed when in the cooler winter months a giant fungus sprung up on the bathroom wall behind the toilet. so my dad knocked into the wall and the leak, no a stream, was present. and with that it became a reality that the pipes needed to be replaced, that the walls because of that, would be redone and since all of that was being redone they would replace the cabinets, and the floor and on into the kitchen. and that whatever excuse, like moving, or building a new house, ceased to exist... of course this is suppose to happen in the new year. and i'm looking forward with a wary eye. possibly glee. of such a thing coming true. with a hope that even after so long, things can change for the better, and that it's okay to show a part of yourself that needs repair in the hopes that with the better part of man it'll be fixed and made new again.

the day after christmas by m

The SVP ordered us all Pizza the day after Christmas. (It would save me a lot of calories if i remembered it simply doesn't digest well.) Anyway, the President said, oh, do you have a minute, come on in. We both thought that was odd. 5 min later the SVP walks out with a small sigh, shuts his office door, comes out with his bag, inquires how much the pizza was and leaves. Then the man with the very big title tells me condescendingly a day later after the company meeting, you see that's why we were all here. it makes sense now doesn't it. um, it made sense after the sigh. how young and stupid do you think i am. anyway, it's my last day. and apparently we are getting pizza AGAIN. because when people get divorced you get fun unhealthy food twice as often. but my question regardless of all their salaries is don't you have anything better to do than fire people the day after christmas... ? 5 people flew down here from the greatwhitenorth of minnasota and decided they had nothing better to do than fire people, not on friday, but on a wednesday... i'm sure that SVP will be okay and he'll get over it. regardless it seems a pretty shitty thing to do. but on my end despite a bleak entrance of joblessness the two VP's who weren't fired asked for my resume... so hey maybe they'll keep me in mind and i'll be again, one day commuting to LA... until then look forward to non-stop posts about my garden and my to do lists... bcs what else is there to do when you're jobless. but work. and think of work and find things to work at. bcs you're worried about not working.

restraint

I am. A bargain shopper. It is in my blood. Probably you know this about me already. I enjoy the commercial hunt and kill. So it is especially difficult for me two days after Christmas to go to a store like, say, TARGET, and resist even looking at all the holiday decor that is currently 50% off. Not so much ornaments, because I so don't need to buy myself those. But wrapping paper, probably that would come in handy. Or maybe a lovely red table runner or whatever. I would use these things. But I don't need these things. The thing is, I have already bought myself these things. I just need to pay for them now.

So, a brief note to self:

Dear pen,

Don't do it. Think of the interest charges. The children. How long it will take that item to rot in the landfill. Whatever you need to think to keep on walking, think it. The time is now.

xoxo and godspeed,
penelope

pen's haul

GEEKTASTIC, i.e. totally nerdy that I am thrilled with these items:
a large frying pan
3 wooden spoons
medium stainless steel whisk
serving platter, serving bowl, creamer/sugar that matches our plates (v. hard to find!)
badass potato masher
candle snuff, wick trimmer, wax scraper
toaster-oven pan
The NY Times Essential Guide to Knowledge
Canon, by Natalie Angier

AESTHETICALLY PLEASING:
lovely bracelet
2 Willow Tree figures
long-sleeved tee
green crochet-type sweater
take-out menu organizer
Bath&Body items in Fig/Brown Sugar and Sweat Pea
Jack Frost candle
ornaments, various
2 stocking holders
assorted holiday tchotchkes

UM, YUM!:
homemade cookies
Ghiradelli chocolate
Ferrero Roche

MEDIA:
Pixar Short Film Collection
Little Miss Sunshine
Baby Boom
Center Stage (hee hee hee)
Chicken Run
Shark's Tale
Dead Poets' Society
subscription to Martha Stewart Living!
Julie and Julia, by Julie Powell
World Without End, by Ken Follett

JUST PLAIN FUN:
Monk bobblehead
duckie flashlight keychain

FANTASTIC:
news of a new niece or nephew, ETA July 2008

OH, AND DID I MENTION, i.e. I just want to stare at it all day, take in its prettiness, its cleverness, its complete and utter fabulousness:
The Complete Gilmore.

santa monica recreational... something something.

the highlight of christmas day, besides receiving some awesome jammie pants from mom and eating crepes was going on this hike with sarah. this is a hiking spot i kept saying, oh we should go there one day, i haven't been in 10+ years. which is ridiculous but true. all i remembered was that you could hike up the ravine via the stream. and that my friend and i didn't make it very far and that we got very very wet. but i think it was raining and sometime in april and we were late for theatre rehearsal. so today, by a turn of stay in the sun as long as we can or avoid it, we chose avoid it and into the cold shadows we went, treading over heaps of acorns and their thorny oak leaves, and splashes of golden california sycamore to break up the brown and green palette. we actually had to climb up rocks, narrow ledges, slippery bits were the water was running. i am notorious for accidents when i think i can leap like a gazelle. i am not a gazelle. i am not lithe or graceful. so it is not surprising that once when i thought that i stood up to a foot in muddy peatbog moss, and that another time i stood up to my chest in a siltridden river... this time i flew into a heap of leaves, luckily. and as we progressed it was a mostly fun challenge to figure out where we were going to put our feet. and then we came to the WALL and we saw a rope. sarah tugged at it. i tugged at it. figured it looked new, felt secure... sarah went up first and she made it. then i did. easy peasy. we hiked further in and saw that we'd need more time, supplies and maybe a machete to keep going. but then there was that whole turning back part. she wasn't thrilled at the prospect of going back down the drops. since as we discovered she likes facing challenges head on and going back down vertical rock walls that way proves challenging and garners quite a few butt slides. i myself approach them like ladders, one foot and grip at a time. but down we had to go as we didn't know where the trail intersected us or if it did at all. so in a matter of minutes we were back at the wall and as you know i'm not the spirit of the air but of the earth and instead of trusting the rope and repelling down properly, i went in stages, which might've worked if i had not slipped down on a tricky part and hit my right breast on a jutting rock. as usual i started laughing and shimmied the rest of the way down. it's hard to replay things when you just know if you'd trusted the rope FULLY, hopped down 2ft you would've cleared the rock and saved your breast but you didnt bcs you chose to be a pansy about it and you paid the consequences. so that everytime i put on or adjust my bra, i'm like fuck, why does my breast hurt. the whole adventure is rife with spiritual analogies. but anyway we made it out, went a bit further up on the winding path that was in the sun and then wended our merry way home. fan-tastic.