good times

1. My current hero, Milo Ventimiglia, aka Jess on "Gilmore Girls." He cleaned up his act, figuratively and literally, writing a book, washing his hair, even paying off his debt to Luke. Not to mention he's kind of looking mighty fine. I wanted Rory to make out with him for hours last night, to forget that dog Logan, but alas. Jess's stock rose thousands of points, regardless.



2. New CD purchased: "Solace," Xavier Rudd. He's friends with Jack Johnson, G.Love, and yeah, it's kind of like that. Kind of Paul Simon-y as well. Oh, it is so good.




3. A show that was "saved by the fans": "Love Monkey." Yes, it's true. That's what the commercials on VH1 say, anyway. Last night, they showed the first 3 eps of the series, and starting next Tuesday, they will air new, never before seen eps. I don't know what this actually means for the life of the series, but hell yeah. VH1 seems a fine home. It's got Tom Cavenaugh, Jason Priestley, cameos by people like Aimee Mann and Ben Folds, and this High Fidelity-type vibe. More than anything, it stokes that small flame of lingering hope...fans can save a show? Please oh please oh please, Santa if you're listening?

According to...

Top 10 best jobs
MONEY Magazine and Salary.com researched hundreds of jobs, considering their growth, pay, stress-levels and other factors. These careers ranked highest. (more)1. Software Engineer2. College professor
3. Financial adviser 4. Human Resources Manager 5. Physician's assistant 6. Market research analyst 7. Computer IT analyst 8. Real Estate Appraiser 9. Pharmacist 10. Psychologist

2. College professor
Why it's great While competition for tenure-track jobs will always be stiff, enrollment is rising in professional programs, community colleges and technical schools -- which means higher demand for faculty. It's easier to break in at this level, and often you can teach with a master's and professional experience. Demand is especially strong in fields that compete with the private sector (health science and business, for example).The category includes moonlighting adjuncts, graduate TAs and college administrators.

hmm... i've never seen it look so good. it has to be an utter lie for most english departments but still- when i'm 50, i'm sooo there... more real posting later!

thievery

I'm stealing Kim's blog idea and running with it. Nyah nyah, can't catch me!

Recent thoughts in penelope's brain:

1. Do you like RADISHES? I was at the grocery store yesterday perusing the veggies section, as Scott and I have lately been making an effort to eat some Healthy Things here and there, and I was like, hmmm, radishes. I don't particularly care for them, but I wonder if Scott does. I think he does. A bag of radishes is only $.99, which seems reasonable, and would fill out nicely the cut vegetable medley I would prepare that evening. Should I get the radishes? It seemed dumb to call. Perhaps I could text Scott and ask, Do you like RADISHES? Wait, is that from a movie? What am I thinking of? Oh yeah, Good Will Hunting and the diner scene with Michael Bolton--Do you like APPLES. I wonder why we don't go around saying, "How do you like them radishes," instead.
2. "Cut vegetable medley?" Damn, I'm such a housewife.
3. Oh, but I love it. Heehee.
4. The name "Apple" for a child really does become normal in your head after awhile, particularly next to the name "Moses."
5. A History of Violence: I'm sorry, where did the rest of the movie go? Did I miss something? I mean, it was good, I guess, but I thought there would be...more? This would have made a nice made-for-TV flick, perhaps. On Lifetime.
6. You can watch episodes of Degrassi online for FREE. Like, all of them. Freaking HOT. I am uber-excited about this information.
7. It occurs to me just a few minutes into watching Degrassi: Old School that the Next Generation was so modeled on the old version back in the 80s--like the character Claude, for instance, becomes Rick in the new version. They're both kind of creepy, they're both on the fringes of all the cliques, they both shoot themselves at school. It's all the same.
8. In Canada, they say "Claude" as "Clode." But if I hadn't seen that in writing, I would have completely assumed that Canadians actually name their baby boys "Clode." Although, let's be honest, isn't Claude just as bad?
9. I wonder how long I will continue to watch shows about people that are younger than me. And when it will become truly sad. Probably at the age that I no longer care about such things, like whether anyone thinks that I am sad. Oh wait, I don't care now.
10. But, how uncool is it to wear a shirt or a skirt or a pair of pants to a store and walk right by the rack that they're selling it on? I think it's probably not very cool. Hmmm. Oh well.

to all things contagious.

i am a walking pathagen, my lungs coughing up snot enough to make me quesy. I shuffle around the house, half a life and do much convalesing in the sun, smelling the flowers which have no fragrance and petting my faithful dog. and i'm sure somehow this will tie into the plague of 1924... one of my favorite realizations while living in Chicago was that the context for all those disaster flicks of the '70s was grounded not just in super-hot box office action but on real and palpable paranoia and fear (maybe). Crowded in subways, deserted city streets at night- it wasn't hard to imagine some inevitable event and the apocalypse all in one. Movies like Towering Inferno (hello faye dunaway!), Earthquake! (ah, charlton heston!) and more recently Outbreak! or Resident Evil might really happen. (who doesn't love the Red Queen?) I have secret yearnings to be a conspiracy theorist and the government really will make you disappear if they want to- it's like that one time in 1924 when the bubonic plague broke out in Los Angeles-in a relatively poor section of town. A man pulled a dead rat from the wall of his house, laughed about it, and sometime later his whole family was dead. As the death toll rose the city got wise and cordened off the "infected area" and confined, from what i remember at least 2,000 ? people to take their chances. But the case was they weren't allowed to leave to shop for food, work or anything that would mean that they weren't doomed. All in all for a plague it was pretty tame. I think only 39 people died. And there was a woman who ran a school who jumped the barricade to help alleviate the depressed and subjected by continuing to teach school and convincing confined musicians to play and make merry- thereby giving them a sense of normalcy or lulling them to sleep, kind of like oxygen masks in a crashing plane. But i'm for a little dosing if it'll stop the uncontrollable crying and screaming. Am i right? You know I am. Anyway it lasted 2 wks and they killed all the rats and squirrels- which apparently are still to be kept a wary eye on in the hills of California- squashed. It was actually the last outbreak in the United States and can be traced back to plague rats from China that jumped ship in San Francisco back in 1919, or thereabouts. You know i'm picturing Lome reading a book about bubonic plagues right now, in an orange jumpsuit, in the middle of the ocean, with wide, wide eyes.I think we can all say that songs no matter how morbid- with rosies and posies- give us a lift in the face of unimaginable death. As I was just a week ago stricken with a fever of 102- waking every hour and begging for the dawn- i was thinking of acting-and that i needed to remember what this felt like if i were to ever play a character who was quickly becoming consumptive- it's true i've been reading too many victorian novels- except that my friend Cath, just found out she had tuberculosis bcs some girl at her work was stricken down and the CDC was informed and suddenly everyone had to get tested. So poor Cath tested positive, shuffling around the subways of NewYork, with heaving breath to her 5th floor walkup- with an ill appetite and watery eyes, waiting to see if it's the iron lung she requires or perhaps a very long holiday on the shores of a bright sunned place with cool ocean breezes and a sympathetic aunt to watch her thin pale frame and bring her tea when required. Suddenly all these sorts of things become real in the face of illness- and none are ever so pretty once you leave the upper classes. It's Austen to Dickens in a heartbeat. Not to mention the actual inevitable fact about mortality. But I digress.

sauced and battle-ready

You think things are going all smooth with your day, and then it happens: you spill sauce all over your foot. Luckily, it was refrigerated. Unluckily, it tipped from my hand in such a way that it splattered all over the fridge, the floor, my skirt. What can I say, I am so the coolest kid in school.

This weekend has been kind of nice so far, though. I love spring. Two days ago I was driving down Canterbury, which is off of Indepence near the mall, and there was total mass of flowers, all pinks and whites and purples. Mostly it was the trees and the azalea bushes, but there were some tulips too. It was like being in a painting. I wish I could come up with a better analogy than that, but alas. The weather and flowers this week though, are what make this absolutely my favorite time of year in Carolina.

On the down side. I'm going to have to do battle soon, I can feel it. You see, I have encountered 3 bugs today, all in the kitchen. All...odd-looking. But all the same. What is it about every house or apartment you live in having its own particular bug. In North Raleigh, it was the horrid palmetto bugs. At Colonial Park-ee, it was fleas left by the last tenant's dog, and palmetto bugs. In Chicago.... come to think of it, I don't remember any bugs in Chicago. At least not in the famed dorm at the corner of State and Madison Streets. Maybe I need to move back there:

*Pause briefly for over-nostalgic I-Miss-Chi-Town Reverie*

On Fifth Avenue, it was kitchen ants (and palmettos, like in the pantry, ew ew ew) that I would have loved to scrape into an envelope and mail to the landlady. At Park Avenue, these weird little crunchy bugs that lived in the kitchen, like in flour-based products, but also, randomly, in the bathroom. And now, here in KG, it's these... spotted beetle-type creatures. They're about the size of a Japanese beetle, but kind of yellowy and polka-dotted, and of the 3, 1 was dead, another was half-dead, and the third was fully alive.

When you find 3 bugs in one room in the space of just a few hours, and in that order of Various Life Stages, it is not a good sign. You know they're coming from somewhere, and if it's the kitchen, it's probably a food product. But, what food product, is the shivery question. It makes me simultaneously Afraid to Look and Afraid Not to Look. I'm indiscriminately tossing some more questionable items: the open bag on muffin mix from over a year ago? Gone. Bisquik from who knows when? Toss it.

*Pause briefly to consider the Actual Moment of Bug Lair Discovery, for instance peering into box of, say, corn starch, only to find it teeming with the aforementioned hideous KG Beetle Creatures.*

Blyeggggh.

I'm off to war. Till then,
Combat Pen

(Why can't I use a paintball gun?)

What a Rig?

I had a friend. His name rhymes with Lome. He was one of the greatest television series ever. The places we went, the things we did- restaurants, shopping, rollerblading, hiking, movies, xbox, kite flying- the only thing left was across the ocean. The problem with Lome, however, was that he was sensitive and very tempermental. With a word he would send himself into hiatus and there was no talking him out of it. He'd cancel your subscription in a minute and that, over the years, got a bit hard to bear- the continual searching for his time slot, was it now 8 or 9. Was he best on Tuesdays or on action packed Thursdays. And so eventually when he threatened to cancel the show for the 3rd time, I let him- without a complaint letter. It was fairly tragic to be losing so much in so generous a friend- links to other friends and worlds dissolved, and my world became a little more boring, less adventurous and okay- peaceful. But every so often I'd hear new tales of Lome and it was like listening in on a show that seemed just the same as ever.

I also had another friend. Her name is petrified tree sap. She also subscribed to Lome. We had many adventures together by ourselves and with Lome and it was an idyllic time of entertainment and brotherhood. PTS and I hit a rough patch, however, and were no longer getting reception. And all of our worlds ripped right apart. In varying degrees and at different times. But then suddenly I got signals again from PTS and remembered how much i enjoyed that series and how integral she was to my life and picked her up again and gradually began to watch more of her then I had in the last 2 years. Then suddenly she told me she was subscribing to Lome again, a cheaper-low commitment package- on a trial basis. And with that Lome's world was mine again. It's sort of like stealing cable.

Lome's life is an adventure- to everyone who sees it but him. To Lome, his life is boring and routine, and agonizing in its drudgery- from his hippie pot-smoking parents to his wall to ceiling dvd collection. But we all want to know more about Lome. That's his power. For instance- PTS tells me that Lome is going to go teach some technology something or other to some employees on an oil rig in china. Who does that? Apparently he had to wear an orange jumpsuit and he got flown in on a helicopter. He had to take saltwater showers and who knows what else. I find this endlessly fascinating. Probably better than Steve Zissou. How can I not make the comparison. Lome in an orange jumpsuit, reading (which he never did when i knew him-the DaVinciCode no less), in line for a computer moniter, on board a chinese oilrig- Jeff Goldbloom and a pack of interns might as well walk up behind him. PTS mentions that Lome was not so amused and in my mind I am glee and belly-laughs bcs that is sooo Lome! How does he not find an oil rig and a helicopter ride fascinating? Or that he's in foreign waters? Or that his company may send him to the middle east. I mean the questions are endless- and i can only ask so much of PTS and she can only ask so much of Lome- so the answers are small and come back in degrees and never to a satisfying level- but always to a level where you want to say to Lome, appreciate your life! The world is yours Lome. Don't you see it? You have money. You have this strange circumstantial life- I hope one day it grabs you and you can if only for a minute- smile- before you change the channel.

Next up: Posts about the Plague, the flu and group dynamics.

To be or Not to be.

long long ago in a galaxy far far away i was an actor.

burnt out by too many days consecutively spent in a small dark box i opted to explore the dark box of the mind and went to school again for writing. since then its been a dry spell, having not quite bent myself back into the world of theatre. but i do miss acting. and i say that in the back of my mind, wondering if one day i'll eventually make the switch and act again- there are a couple privisions however. it used to be that i'd only audition for a part i thought i was right for- not just anything- but now it's i won't audition for anything while i'm still fat. However there is little freedom from stereotypes in Hollywood acting and even in Hollywood theatre, I always wonder what I'd audition for anyway- which goes back to the first provision- and to the important hope that I will write parts for real people and not hapless types. But behind all my anti-desperation type, pride protecting provisos i do desperately want to act again. but not enough apparently to do anything about it- unless God, in his infinite wisdom- puts it right in front of my face. not that extra work is that, in any way. but it is a reminder. and maybe that's the next script i will write- to all the extras, getting paid $6.75 (because they haven't made it into the union), killing their entire day so some director can make reality exactly the way he wants it. so just think about that the next time you watch a show- and all those countless faces, breathing in a tenuous space of anonimity. you take them for granted.

i got a call from Central- which rarely happens and only when the director is searching, searching, searching- to no avail. i took a horrible pic for central, and i think that picture was exactly was what the director was looking for when i was summarily cast as "midwesterner" in a new show entitled "....." (as in that flag across the sea who shares it's name with the depiction of the democratic party). gold stars for anyone who guesses the title.

so my immediate fear was that i was being cast because i was fat. as i told them i was now a brunette and no longer blonde- and she said that didn't matter. and i was right- they used the term heavyset midwesterners... who perhaps are wearing "colorful" ill-fitting clothing. luckily i had nothing so tacky in my wardrobe. but i was nevertheless made to wear a hideous denim vest in a very uncute combination with an dark orange top and a pink skirt. sigh.

so you call in, get your location and time and who to report to- then you show up, check in, get your voucher (aka timecard), and if your lucky you make it to wardrobe and finally 'get permission' to hit up craft services for your breakfast/lunch. and you wait, and wait, and wait- knowing this i brought a few books and made sure my phone was charged. it did not disappoint. i had an awesome day- of blue skies and non-boredom on the "..." lot (the bastards who cancelled AD).

the other types were hispanic car washers, plastic surgery gone too far, brittany hookers, and anorexic models... i kept wondering which type it was worse to be. once we got in front of the director i was immediately knocked out of competition with a polite "Stand Aside Please"... even if I had the perfect midwestern outfit i don't think it would've saved me- i was actually less fat, less squat, more ethnic, and gloriously tanner than the other 2. and did not fit at all with the two other men there. this saved me from hours of standing, sitting and waiting with purpose. and so i was free to enjoy my captivity unfettered (not that anyone told me so or came back to get me). At dinner, I got to know the other 2 fat actresses - for the funny they totally are. The one girl had to eat a donut (the lord spared me, of this I am sure, bcs i wouldn't have) and the other girl just had to stand there and was glad after the fact that there was no donut for her. But we laughed about it- and said, well we're fat because fat people love donuts, that's why we're fat.

i was finally put to use at 7pm after being there since 935am. I was general airport ambience. And perhaps my elbow will be in frame, but for that moment i was arriving at LAX, w/ everyone else- having just come from some far away place, my luggage having been lost (which explained the hideous clothes), but thankfully my cellphone still working- and on my way home, and after 40 minutes of the most pain-free shoot i've ever been on- i did. and hopefully the next time my whole face will be on frame, fat or no- with all the hopes and dreams of making it- getting into SAG, saying a line, drawing attention and finding the man of my life, and walking into another world with no regrets.

Peas, Give CJ a Chance

Dear Friends,

Please link Convincing John to your blogs. Pretty please? I know it's a busy time of year, but honestly. Kim and I are becoming sincerely DEPRESSED.

You don't have to read it, though we'd love you to. You don't have to love it, though we're sure you will. (Trust in momentum!) And you don't have to contribute with submissions or comments, even though your contributions will be what makes the site FANTASTIC, and even though it would be so much FUN for us all.

But please, if nothing else--link. Link, link, link! We have faith in this thing, but we do need your help.

I feel like I'm waiting for a boy to call, and worrying he never will. Oh, alas... Where is the love, I just don't know.

XOXO,
Sad Penelope

FTA

AH, This is that time that i went to dave & busters down in irvine. It's been in my 'phone' forever. Mmm, good times.

oh man.

so- another day and no blog about the things i want to blog about. i am remiss about a whole weekend sans blogging. i want to post about the show i was an extra for and the ever elusive plague-- oh and how i'm sick again. and totally pissed off about it by the way. i hope tomorrow i will have the strength. god willing.