Wednesday, September 19, 2012

When we were,


We understood the value of detail like acorns or gumballs dropping on tin roofs. Magical. As the detail now goes out beyond us, to a memory of that one time on that one particular day in an approaching fall.We saw things and we communicated them with a breadth that would shock us now of what it was to describe the infuriating nature of salt build up on windows and how mildew almost destroyed a fragile pile of memories that rose up in conflicting bites of savory and sweet and bitter. I just found some on my bowling shoes. Not sure what to do about it. At least we did all that work before hand and the roots while sometimes i think they must be shallow are actually really deep. Not that our friendship is dying off, but that it's spread beyond is such a lovely thing. A canopy. A network I wish would outlive us. Is that my sole reason to want kids? Maybe.

But long distance is hard right? Let's get back to that. We seem close. Maybe just nextdoor away. But that's only because I can picture what you're putting on your eggs right now as i cook mine. We spent a couple years perfecting Chi-NC, We spent even more years managing NC to LA- for better and worse and less blogging and now KOR. what do we have if we don't have letters? or emails? or postcards? Especially if the details are lost. If we don't push ourselves to share them... because that's when we see the fragility and the strain and the sudden forgetfulness of really important things. Not just vacations, but shifts, across continents of what shapes us.  Of course we won't let that happen. I'm too neurotic. You're too sensitive. But we can see how suddenly our knowing of one another can in an instant cease to be.

But revisiting always brings about discovery and familiarity. And I love that. Anyway, you'll be spared from more meandering philisophic since i'm itching to just sit and stare into space and perhaps write a postcard or two as i nurse the last of my large iced latte in the atmosphere of the idyllic inbetween of approaching fall and reminents of summer as a Kpop soundtrack plays over head and the wind rustles a plant that looks like it is either dying from lack of water or is still traumatized from typhoon sanba. (Matt says he survived a typhoon but he was really only out and about in a tropical depression... I hope this lovely weather lasts through his coming too. Yesterday morning his mom emailed me and asked if i'd heard from him and i hadn't in the last week. I wasn't too worried but I was prepared to do some calling if I had to but he surfaced not 6minutes before I came home to check on his itinerary. Ah international traveling.)

And me, this sunday will mark my official 9months/36wks out. 19wks/4 months left.
I am wearing an emily shirt (an eddie bauer red and white pinstriped cotton longsleeved thing and black workout pants- luckily with working elastic) and flipflops. my toenails are hot pink. and i'm wearing my grandfathers wedding ring on my right hand. The layering in my hair is growing out pretty fantastically and i'm determined to do (unrelated to hair) more ab exercises to help strengthen my lower back... and volleyball this weekend... and who knows what else. good food i hope. and sitting by the shore.

Sending my love in your direction,

1 comment:

pen said...

i'm reading this way too close to bedtime and may have nightmares regarding the instantaneous ceasing to know one another.

there's also the puzzle piece of place. we haven't been to visit each other where we currently are, so it's all hard to fully imagine. but i feel like we do fairly well regardless.

i loved your latte ponderings and knowing that you're wearing a red-striped shirt!