I keep checking the time as if i have somewhere to go. It disturbs me like its a betrayal of what i'm actually doing. It must be....
And i was all ready to have some deep thoughts with the rain coming down and me not being able to watch inception due to the stressful music...Then my flatmate came. For some chitchat and bordered on glad to talk to her but then resenting that we're having to process the trauma over and over and over, and just wanting to be by myself to being glad and then back to clock checking. I did somewhere in my enslavement of time manage to have a good weekend... there was the fauxpaux of not informing my one co teacher about the pork allergy and she deliberately chose this restaurant because of my now mostly off wheat allergy. Total yellow card. (because they are beyond accomadating) But then i got to try some really good hotstonepot bibimbap. Then there was the coffee and the naurebang--- aka karaoke. but don't call it that. Koreans are koreans And it is not karaoke. And then there was the beach in there too... and today church and it felt slightly offkilter like i spent too much time away from home and came back tired and spent too much, did too much feeling- even though i had lunch, coffee and went to emart and was home by 7. Too much. But the shopping was important. Vowing to feed myself. My flatmate says that though the weightloss is dropping its the same precentage etc... which rings true and i know to be true but still. And if i lost it any faster by now i'd be out of clothes too... the pant situation is already back to being pretty iffy. Though i do like shuffling around in my barely not pajama bottoms. And the work talk does take its toll. And i'm trying desperately to talk about other things with everyone- but it's so difficult to escape and so easy to slip into-- its the k drama everyone is tuned in to. Past and present teachers alike. Even the church peeps are like update me? And there's always some new nuance in flatmate drama, in my own M drama of what if they fire me a month before and how i probably would most definitely take them to the labor board. The real heinous thing here is if you win you have to go back to work but I figure i'd only have a month left AND i have the Lord on myside. So. I would do it. Where flatmate is just not up for that kind of torture. Having 7months left on her contract. And anyway last night it wass totally /totes getting on my nerves. I was like please can we stop talking about it. PLEASE. I get it... and i know i was probably as bad for something less traumatic like the cat situation which still gets mentioned as part of the saga of when sg turned against flatmate and kris and yet... all of it... let's just talk about the weather? What else... time to break out the 20questions book...
I'm not sure about your breaking things. That doesn't sound like a lot to me. But the getting out of work thing... well maybe. And that idea of needing to be perfect or to not have these things happen... sort of gravitates things like that toward happening. Just another thing to pull you under and make you lose bouyancy. Comical misshaps yes though. Humor yes. Complete shenanigans yes. Happenstanceness. That is all.
Also tonight i'm going to bed with that claymask on my face. Just because i can despite the mess. Even though i have a fan drying my clothes because the weather isn't helping. So besides, see you on the flipside and guard me while i sleep. So that tomorrow it's all going to be ok. And remind me of the doctor advice.
xom.
tell me more of your world. (ok drawing down the mosquito netting and signing off.)
And i was all ready to have some deep thoughts with the rain coming down and me not being able to watch inception due to the stressful music...Then my flatmate came. For some chitchat and bordered on glad to talk to her but then resenting that we're having to process the trauma over and over and over, and just wanting to be by myself to being glad and then back to clock checking. I did somewhere in my enslavement of time manage to have a good weekend... there was the fauxpaux of not informing my one co teacher about the pork allergy and she deliberately chose this restaurant because of my now mostly off wheat allergy. Total yellow card. (because they are beyond accomadating) But then i got to try some really good hotstonepot bibimbap. Then there was the coffee and the naurebang--- aka karaoke. but don't call it that. Koreans are koreans And it is not karaoke. And then there was the beach in there too... and today church and it felt slightly offkilter like i spent too much time away from home and came back tired and spent too much, did too much feeling- even though i had lunch, coffee and went to emart and was home by 7. Too much. But the shopping was important. Vowing to feed myself. My flatmate says that though the weightloss is dropping its the same precentage etc... which rings true and i know to be true but still. And if i lost it any faster by now i'd be out of clothes too... the pant situation is already back to being pretty iffy. Though i do like shuffling around in my barely not pajama bottoms. And the work talk does take its toll. And i'm trying desperately to talk about other things with everyone- but it's so difficult to escape and so easy to slip into-- its the k drama everyone is tuned in to. Past and present teachers alike. Even the church peeps are like update me? And there's always some new nuance in flatmate drama, in my own M drama of what if they fire me a month before and how i probably would most definitely take them to the labor board. The real heinous thing here is if you win you have to go back to work but I figure i'd only have a month left AND i have the Lord on myside. So. I would do it. Where flatmate is just not up for that kind of torture. Having 7months left on her contract. And anyway last night it wass totally /totes getting on my nerves. I was like please can we stop talking about it. PLEASE. I get it... and i know i was probably as bad for something less traumatic like the cat situation which still gets mentioned as part of the saga of when sg turned against flatmate and kris and yet... all of it... let's just talk about the weather? What else... time to break out the 20questions book...
I'm not sure about your breaking things. That doesn't sound like a lot to me. But the getting out of work thing... well maybe. And that idea of needing to be perfect or to not have these things happen... sort of gravitates things like that toward happening. Just another thing to pull you under and make you lose bouyancy. Comical misshaps yes though. Humor yes. Complete shenanigans yes. Happenstanceness. That is all.
Also tonight i'm going to bed with that claymask on my face. Just because i can despite the mess. Even though i have a fan drying my clothes because the weather isn't helping. So besides, see you on the flipside and guard me while i sleep. So that tomorrow it's all going to be ok. And remind me of the doctor advice.
xom.
tell me more of your world. (ok drawing down the mosquito netting and signing off.)
1 comment:
possibly tacky question but i have to: how does your flatmate talk so much if her jaw is wired shut??
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