Wednesday, December 21, 2011

dear subconscious,

well I’m glad you’re listening at all times, really – and to so promptly field my complaint of “boring dreams” suggests the potential for exemplary customer service. I’ll put in a word with the Manager. But honestly, I could have done without last night’s series, in which:

  • a friend threw me not one but two baby showers (aghhh. no.), two nights in a row. one for in-town friends, one for long-lost friends.
  • a guest gifted me a set of spatulas at one said shower, and I’m still not sure whether she was confused about the occasion, or why no one advised her against the purchase, since they all had gone shopping together.
  • we hosted a bbq at our house in which random guests appeared – our realtor, Chris K@ttan of SNL and The Middle fame
  • Chris K@ttan cried about his life. he wore a red sweater. with a reindeer on it.
  • we semi-stalked a gay neighbor couple on a walk one day and stopped by their house, pretending we were regular friends – because we liked their deck. which they were staining. with a giant airbrush-type contraption. and one of the guys new we were imposters but was perfectly fine with our company, but the other guy faked his way through the conversation, pretending that he did know us and that we were in fact long-time friends. but wasn’t mad when we later confessed we weren’t and just wanted to be their friends.
  • we scoped their house for architectural inspiration
  • we tried to return a pitcher and a cooler at the bbq, but no one would claim them
  • it may or may not have been christmas, or a housewarming, at the bbq. I feel like it was both?
  • I feel like we weren’t actually hosting a bbq – but ppl showed up
  • I drove around on the highway in the town I grew up in. looking for…? taking in the scenery

It’s not that they were particularly stressful. Yet I’m perplexed and wouldn’t mind several more hours of sleep to recover.




mendacious said...

had a hard nights work eh?
completely awesome. must fwd you amber's dream i was in. bcs i'm making this all about me and not about chris and your probably epic bbq.

almost anonymous said...

Ha. Well, at least yours isn't going to get you on an FBI watch list.