Pennyweather,

Ok so lets see... getting out of jury duty was hard won. Though it was completely surprising come friday to realize i was released. The first time it slipped my mind by wednesday and I got called in. Whoops. The 2nd time in july I got called in but just started 'the job' so no and i didn't have to go in. 3rd times a charm apparently. And of course when it came down to it, i was glad not to have to go through the hassle even though the reading time i would've gained... and now still treacherously behind on the books.... all of them. Alas. Total problem.

Oh, and the SoundofMusicSingalong. This might be my last in a while but it really is fun to drink wine from a bottle and yell at the screen, no Maria! no don't leave! And fire off confetti poppers when they kiss and generally make a big todo everytime n/z/s appear or the baroness though you do feel bad for her in the end. Poor girl. With the war coming and what not. Ultimately though the relationship gets to you- and how they play the song, what do you do with a problem like maria? And there she is going down the aisle and then you think no wonder why i grew up hoping for Christopher Plummer to look at me askance. All of us single women (and there were like 15 of us at least) just sort of sighed and kept drinking the wine. I mean i'm not making cultural excuses Pen but obviously that is what you do with smart, outspoken women and then its all going to be ok, provided you can navigate the alps. But nevermind. good times were had. Even if we're all living in a nunnery over here due to lack of men. Anyway,

I don't know if you should've told me what the prayer was... which i find completely uh yes "harsh" uh.... or you know what i mean Pen, if he's real, and does exist, you've stuck a fellow saint into the ground and are demanding or er, exacting a promise, which um uh... and i'm having an office moment where sure michael didn't intend to hold the kid hostage with dwight as his jailor but suddenly everyone around them is looking up accomplice and felony charges and finally the good pizza arrives and jim/pam escape to the roof- and its almost unbearable to watch but you can't look away as the kid is being yelled at and says snarkladen things about dwight and the hemp he grows on his farm. I mean clearly I'm fascinated in all its eccentricities and clearly this is where my staunch Lutheran upbringing interferes with your airyfairy ;) catholic ways... Its good to know that we even have cultural barriers of complete un-understanding.... I do like the look of the statue though. But I'm a bit nervous for all of you.

Meanwhile overhere i'm embroiled in church conflict and wiser sorts than me said, but this is what makes us the church, and living it out and going through it, and its ok. Its not about homogony right? I wonder if i don't want it to be as important as it is. Like it'll let me down or decide to break up with me and then what? But it's not true. I know who I am. I have a new name as one of the judges and i saw that image, of the tree on the cliff... and it was the last thing to click into place after feeling healed and then finding my place- like being newly christened i'm sure. So i can't lose sight of that. I have a name. I know where I'm suppose to be. And people hear me, understand and care for me. That's nice. But meanwhile I need to harass so and so about the fencing, another about a room, communicate about a prayerwalk, attend a meeting, articulate my arguments, ponder spiritual direction, go on a retreat (nov.), do more prayer stuff, and continue to talk to my fellow stanchions of wisdom&vision about all of it... and fend off attacks from myself who doesn't want to care or get too close, from the enemy of my heart who says its pointless and that everyone is out to get me, and the world who says none of it matters... or that such things, insight, clarity and even mystery don't exist in the face of the job and spending $4 on tea and chips at 1130am because you're feeling snackish and have made up a new word-- forg-it. just forgit. Like forget IT, but more concise.

SO Yesterday after church, with the broiling heat over here I went to see 'thetown' and it was pretty good, and then went to islands for some salad. A very good course of activity to escape the fact that it was 93 in the shade at 4pm. Today is another such day and I am glad to have the excuse of being in the humming grumbling corporate beast. I'm going to play wii tennis for lunch and have a salad, then do a run (deliver tapes) and off to see LL, danica and joanna. Where i'll retouch the side of the weird ones and walk away from the side of drought and war.

And to tell you i do not know what I'd do without you way over there, holding up the east side of me so that i don't slam into the ocean.

(pics up coming... )
m.