Wednesday, September 1, 2010


So the cold has progressed from the head to the chest, per natures instructions. I have a bottle of cough syrup on my desk, some tylenol cold/sinus, some chapstick and scratchy tissues at the ready. I can't say my head is completely clear but there are some coherent thoughts there buzzing around. I almost died yesterday around 2 when all this work i had done became irrelavant and so i left at 3. How does one remain zen in the office? when one just wants to curl up under the desk and sleep... Also my officemates can hear everything. Those cubicle walls are thin. Every sneeze, squeeky chair swing... though my AP i think is constantly listening to music. So that's good. But still. Snarf. Hack. (que sounds of gasping and gurgling)

ANyway i've managed to bore myself with even that contemplation. Its a a good thing I can type with my eyes closed. The only other thing worrying at me is the idea they're secretly judging me for being sick and for leaving early or showing up at 10 everyday. I do tend to aim for 930 but still. Oh and the fact that about 1/2 the time, when i sneeze, on any given day and particularly when sick, I sometimes get shooting tingling pain, numbness and weakness thru my arms to my hands. I've done some research and it may indicate a compressed nerve. Which is super to secretly or not so secretly think that my neck will one day be the death of me. I mean i've always known the chiros have never completely fixed those top 2 bones called axis and atlas... but then more research revealed that its perhaps the troublesome C6. Who's to say? Who's to say? Either way it would be appropriate to say neck problems abound. I guess I never felt like delving into the issue too deeply. It would've been nice to do so when i had insurance is all i'm saying. All this discovery and interest in such things like this and allergies would be better served in another world and in another time. I suppose i should just go and insure myself... hmm.

And What if i didn't have the internet? I just don't know.
Besides that this whole hotmail vs. gmail thing has left me in a sea of who knows.

i've got to go. This has been sitting here for like 3 hours. I'm getting iced tea... and lunch. I promise nothing onthe matter of coherent thought but that hopefully i'll be better soon. It's never good to think much when one feels this way anyway. Like mental note: panic about the following (at a later time): job, insurance, death, writing, art projects. Just don't lose my narrative thread. Perhaps its not other peoples narrative threads i've lost. It's currently myown...

Am so proud of your awesome sculpey. It seems magical and unknown to me and all this fixit surge of energy. The blue was heinous in all ofitsbluewrongness. ANd i'm totally ignoring what you said about jessica fletcher... though it occurs to me it does plague her an awful lot.

Looking fwd to prorun, health, more emails from you, and rain.


Daniel Bruckner said...

You have that s#!t going around? My God, people are dropping like flies everywhere I go. It's very apocalyptic!

And for the love of God, don't lose other peoples' narrative threads! We put you in charge of them for a reason!!!

mendacious said...

"mental noted bruckner."
(cough)tips back into chair, asleep.

jenn said...

Hope you are feeling better soon!