Penolin,

Hello you.
Ive had sort of an outofsorts, mentally confused sort of day. Like all my to-do's are trying to squash me in my head. The ipod,the necklaces, the EW i was going to read, my thoughts on the republican primary, my need to meditate, my hovering at 275, my uncle harassing me, the tile, smashing up the floor, all the books, my desire to tan, the shelf we need to cut, roses to trim, emails to return, letters to write, people i'm avoiding, people who are avoiding me, money, things to volunteer for and schedule, and then suddenly all the clutter on my desk and all the awesome eclectic decor of my room starts to squash me too. I need like, a white room or something? It definitely points to being over simulated. ha. Stimulated. Like i'm assimilating or simulating non-chaos. And yet no white room. No room to just check out in. It's hard to push it all back or force it to slot into natural order. I don't even know if my lists would help as they're all just too ridiculously varied to go together naturally. And then even the preponderance of lists or the thought, stress me out. I suppose I could just do these things like redoing my picture files or contemplating writing again, but then... ach. Oh also on littlehouseonthepraire today this one guy in total foreshadowing refused the wool coat the niles offered him and everyone else took theirs. And of course he's face up in the snow staring at mary and laura and charles, and he's like, there's nothing we can do now, come on... and the girls are all uh, wha...

I feel better after swimming, though there was this definite feeling on the way there of all the cars trying to hit me, one was definitevly swerving, bcs he was shaving in his rearview, and then in the pool that feeling of having stayed too long. I didn't even shave or lotion after the shower. And I'm back home now and I did attempt wandering outside for a minute to cut some flowers but then i came back inside without putting the broken rototiller on the curb or picking up the remains of the ivy. Oh and the ren project is totally stalled. As you know all that work was too much for mom and exhausting for dad. And I seem to be surrounded at the moment and facing off the enemy. I thought about writing down in my planner: demolish floor, but i haven't yet. I may play it by my own ear. Mom was thinking in a month she might be ready to pump the septic tank but we'll try for next week.

And yesterday i watched the unitedstates&ftara but i can't say i much like it. But 'The Guild' which apparently is this kickass webisode thing is awesome. Go catch up on it now onthenetfl*x- with all that new time you're going to have. It'll freak you out at first (the time not the guild) but it's going to be awesome. Oh and lets go from God to Fear in the book. When i get around i'll post pics and impressions of the kid and the people. Right now i'm contemplating an eye twitch.

m.
ps. mad jealous of your awesome box.

m,

I’m here! Did you think I had left? I really am slated to go nowhere, as N.Lo is still sleeping. It’s almost 11 AM. I’m eating spicy crackers from the ever-magical produce box and missing yoga… It was better not to poke the bear. He is still breathing (you know I had to check), but it does seem excessive. I expect to find him three inches taller and smiling by the time he wakes.

Also new and exciting in le produce box: ears of corn! Peaches! Which I am giving to J.Lo, because he loves them so. Must figure out a dinner plan. Also this afternoon: a lunchbox quest, as N.Lo is off to summer camp tomorrow, a last-minute thing – which means I’m going to have Tuesday and Thursday mornings all to myself. Gasp. My sanity might marginally increase. Anything’s possible.

I’m all caught up in the book, but need to know how far you’re going to read so I can give myself an “assignment.” Also started “The Lost Girls” yesterday, which is a NF book about 3 late 20-something friends who travel the world for a year to bust out of their Manhattanite boxes. Like in a soul-searching kind of way.

Umwhatelse. It’s strange not having a lot of TV to catch up on, although there’s a few eps of Glee I need to watch, and Friday Night Lights just makes me happy every week. Or sad, depending. I might have wept copiously at last week’s episode. Like I say, anything’s possible.

How is the ren project coming and do we get pictures of the pixie in your presence?

love, pen

Penovations,

So here we go. In the end of this tale, my brother arrived and didn't really praise the bathroom, but I got to shower, and mom and i continue to be awesome together. Oh and projects and my family work unless you're acting as a rogue agent like my brother who woke up and decided to fuck with my beautiful boston ivy. Makes me so mad. Danica reminds me I need to love him but he totally slashed God's art and mangled it and it won't be another year until its right again. Despite all the weeds he pulled, i should've known waking up to a shovel grating against asphault was a harbinger of doom. It was my fault i didn't bolt out of bed. I'm so going to bed early. Me needs a nap.

Anyway at the beginning of this tale we kept the original 1948 vanity. And took away all of these awesome layers of paint. Mom did the most work with the toxic fabulous goo. go mom!

here's dad littering his cigarette butts in the garden of eden. In somewhat a compassionate note he is a stress basket and did have a lot to do in a short amount of time including coordinating electrical, plumbing, dryer repair, drywall, carpentry, a car show and registering his vehicle and bathing it, and mom. The workers were: Salvador, Raul, Jose, and Alejandro. Oh, and me, lets not forget, cuz i'm awesome. I powerwashed the patio, polished things, dusted, vacuumed, and tidy-d. Cigarette butts are litter though guys, don't deny. I'm thinking a soft very light blue for the bathroom. I can't decide the color of the vanity yet but i painted the insides a rad shade of cranberry. and this is my dream tile which we must save up for. i think it goes with both an earthy yet contemporary feel? i want it to cover the vanity and the floor and small white subway tiles as the backsplash and in the shower.
and lo and behold like magic, primer works wonders! though in the right angle the spackle looked like puffy white clouds in the bright sky. and then dad got all obsessed with making sure the sheeting protected the permabase whatever until we tile and that took forever and then something was leaking after everyone left and the door wouldn't go back on right- so we don't have to yell 'virtual door' anymore- and can just shut it like normal people even if there isn't a knob on the door. but one last group effort...also i'm super proud of mom buying brushed nickle and those awesome round bulbs and i picked out the curved shower bar which rocks! and pushed for the tile being elevated past the window which seriously helps the bathroom with verticality and looking not so claustraphobic.

look at that beautiful white unblemished wall! the sound of the toilet is even different!

G O U S !

next up: crack next to door and vanity, floor, tile, vanity, new door

(just to mark how long it might take)

and

wish list: new window, new shower fixture, and onward to the kitchen.

m ah lemma dingdong,

Thank you for basically designing my planter boxes, they are like the joy of my existence. The random afternoon thunderstorms keep dishing it out and the plants are alive with the sound of something. Summer. I almost wonder if they get too much water sometimes. But the snapdragons and sweet potato vines and even the marigolds all look like they’ve doubled over the past week. It’s lushness. Color and happiness. And even though it’s too thick and muggy and mosquito-infested to really enjoy outside, I love the fact of this color explosion.

I like seeing magnolias around town as well and pondering whether ours will grow more lanky and lean, or will it be shorter and fuller. And our yard will suddenly contain those earthier shades of dark green and yellow, which will give it a whole new spin. I do wish for some crepe myrtles, especially as they are currently in bloom everywhere here.

New book out from the library that is one of those absurd 7-day loans, like how can I possibly pull it off? But it’s really good. And since my Internets have been annoyingly spotty during the day, I have a built-in excuse to read instead of putting together a new post, which I really should, but I’ll get to it eventually.

Also, since we’re talking about the library, I want to mention that there’s a regular duck that sits outside, a really big duck that curls up in a ball and sleeps and you barely notice him as part of the landscape, except yesterday he was right by the sliding electric doors and made me jump. There’s a sign inside that explains his name is George – !!! Where is my camera when I need it? For heavens’ sake, our library has a duck named George.

Haircut tomorrow! Finally. My hair is practically itchy in its annoying lengthiness. My usual stylist just had a baby, however, so I had to look elsewhere. I’m going to the hair place that apparently exists right next door to the place where we got our pedicures. Who knew. It’s much closer and cheaper, but not too cheap, because that’s just a disaster in the making. And you can book online, unlike anywhere else in town, which is automatically a bonus considering my phone-phobia. So we’ll see. Wish me luck.

more soon-

pen

Pen-

you will note here, that mom is futzing with the hole. it didn't take long for us to strike water. and as the showalter guy informed me, this is just the leech field tank which is however long and wide and deep, NOT the septic tank, which i intuitvely knew must have been severely neglected as it's been even longer since that was pumped. like lets see... 16 years or? i mean the brochures all say 3-5... i'm just saying. and pen tell me the # of times mom has harassed me about food particles, grease, paint, length of shower and whatever else. its a strict regime over here. (shudder). totally more photos later. and bruckner, ps. am heading off to the showers now. i mean i dug that hole and everything... now that i think about it. even though i'll never know what happens at the end of this LFM starring s@rahchalke.

Pen-

My question is to shower at the gym tomorrow or wait till friday. I'd say tomorrow I think. Cuz hopefully by Friday the plastic sheeting will be up and we can shower all we want, especially since mom "coincidentally" decided to pump the septic tank, at least 5 years overdue, coinciding to the brother's visit. Though apparently just now, mom has corrected me by saying just 5 years ago we pumped it. So maybe then its just 3 years overdue. I can't decide. Either way though a septic tank makes me feel green and earth conscious it stresses me out like taking care of a car. But worse. One that is always making you aware of itself by your actions. You'd be amazed at what not to put down the sink, let alone encroaching shrubs and trees. And then there's the shiny new shopvac my dad bought today bcs his other one died and I'm thinking that better not be my tiles going up in sucking hot air. *sigh. Cuz you know i'm obsessed now with getting exactly the tiles I want. Dangit. But otherwise things are progressing: vanity reinstalled and given tlc and lifted up a helpful 2", concrete stuff up in the shower, another coat of spackle applied- next its the fixtures, primer the walls and we're good for the visit, besides dusting, and sweeping the floor. And that whole, where exactly are people sleeping?

ANyway, I feel slightly scattered. I have lists, and things but really its like I can't focus on anything until after the brother. Like exercise and re-doing a resume as if i were someone else? I know you have no idea what i mean. But I'll totally talk about it more in the next blog. Right now I'm watching a nova special on macchu picchu and i'm a tad distracted. And tired from doing not so much, but just enough? It was a waiting around kind of day, a few garden pots, some clean up work, some painting, some hole digging before the sun went down and that was it.

more soon,
m.

to m – if i weren’t pen,

I guess I would have stuck with being a biology major and diverted to horticulture in my last few years of college? Or maybe I would have ditched the sciences for the humanities all over again, but hopefully would have chosen something practical – not English, and not something completely vague like Communications – like counseling? Which of course wouldn’t have been lucrative, either, but decidedly more concrete. More marketable – more needed.

I don’t know where these choices would have taken me because obviously I would have met a completely different set of people and the space-time continuum would have been completely thrown out of whack. I wouldn’t have met you (gasp), not in Chicago, because I wouldn’t ever have gone. Unless it was for a business trip, or somesuch. Maybe I would have migrated to the mountains of Western NC, or somehow found myself back up North. Maybe.

Would I have been more centered, surrounded by plant life or the emotionally off-kilter? Perhaps. Maybe I would have found yoga sooner, or became a vegetarian. Maybe I’d wear glasses all the time – although I’m sure it still would have given me headaches. And obviously I’d be a brunette. With an eyebrow piercing, a penchant for jean jackets and possibly an ankle tat. Maybe I’d be the kind of person who could choose and commit to a tat. But I still would have been adverse to tanning, bumper stickers and phone conversations, I’m sure of it.

And it’s very possible I’d have an entirely different set of children, a lingering fear of dogs and no m and no j.lo in my life, none of which is okay, clearly, and so the exercise can only take us so far…

still pen, still here :)

it’s your favorite time of day, m!

Garden update time.

Bailey looking regal behind the cucumbers, which are creeping, spidey-style, along the No-Bender fence. And there’s actual cucumbers in there!

 

 

One of the cabbages that hasn’t been too ravaged. We’ve noticed wasps dive-bombing the cabbage and wonder if somehow they are eating the caterpillars.

 

Wooly thyme, I just *heart* you.

 

Spillage. Or should I say, spillage!

 

 

There’s an eggplant, fingerling – should be ready to pick in a few days…

 

 

Little rosemary, you live! I used some in the grilled pork tenderloin marinade on Sunday.

 

And here’s a cross-section of the insane height and overgrown splendor.

m orial day,

This weekend was work-filled. Because I’m super-awesome at procrastinating. I mean, I got a few things done earlier in the week, but procrastinated on everything else, and there it all was waiting for me on Friday. But it’s all done. I’m pretty sure. I wrote about camping and beach bag items this time, and how to be a locavore. As well as two posts about slavery – and on a side note I hate that the things us second-string bloggers write never get re-tweeted. What is that. How can our brilliance be overlooked?

J.Lo’s thrown his back out, N.Lo’s recovering from worldsworstdiaperrash, and thunderstorms come and go. Which the plants obviously love. I mean I think if you stood out there long enough in the garden bed, you’d eventually get overtaken. Possibly eaten. But it’s all sorts of green lushness and the more rain that falls out of the sky, the less I have to pay for, so that’s fine with me.

Needless to say I’m not caught up on the book yet, due to aforementioned work procrastination, but I’m getting there. And really plowing through that L*rrie Moore, too! Mainly because I accidentally arrived at church a full hour and half early (no class – oops) on Sunday and sat in the sanctuary and read. And then another book I read about in EW – Commencement – just came in to the library, so that’s super-exciting. Because that other YA novel from last week I couldn’t handle. The parents and the little brother die right away - I’m out.

Oh, so the thing about L.Moore that I’ve finally figured out after all these years is that you’re compelled to read because you want to know what the character will say next. Not necessarily because you want to know what happens next. And it’s remarkable that she can create that narrative voice full of blindsiding witticisms about such ordinary things… but they do all sound the same, those characters. I’m just saying. I love the book like I love everything she writes, but it’s definitely a specific sort of reading experience

On a side note, I love the way N.Lo just kind of bops and dances his way around the house sometimes. Like he’s just so happy to *be.*

Last night while I was finishing up, there came a rustle from the trash can downstairs. The small one filled with papers only. Papers shouldn’t rustle on their own. So I ran away and sent J.Lo down there to investigate. Totally it was a creature of the palmetto bug variety. Shudders.

I’m plowing through my green onions somehow, as well as the potatoes. Because when one has potatoes, onions and some hard-boiled eggs leftover, the obvious solution is potato salad. And BBQ chicken, which J.Lo suggests I should grill… I’ve never grilled before. Hmm.

And I booked a van for a July trip to the lake. It’s gonna be super-awesome. I informed K.Lo this morning of our destination and she was very, very smiley.

J.Lo informed me the other day that Bailey is going to be 10 this year, which means Bender’s going to be 8. And 10 approaches the average lifespan of doggies and that just makes me sad. Which I knew but didn’t necessarily want to register. I don’t like thinking about only having a few years left with either doggie friend.

What else do I ponder? Another bout of feeling useless considering the gifts I was given vs. the ones I’ve chosen to pursue professionally. It doesn’t add up to much, monetarily anyway. Not that it’s the most important thing and not that I was ever destined to make much from any of my gifts, but perhaps I could have found a career in something else. Gone to school for something else? Not that writing isn’t my career. But you know, when you go through the listings, it’s not like there’s a whole lot of want-ads for snarky girls with a pen in their hand. I know you have *no* idea what I mean…

pen everafter

Pen,

hello my darling, how goes it? did you catch up with me on our book? hows the weather? the weekend? etc. whatevs.

i just painted my nails despite the fact 3 of my nails are really short due to nonspecified reasons. but it works i guess. i went for a light shiny metallic pink. work on the bathroom is going- the silly issue with the sink is still going to extend over part of the tub but then the tile is extending around the hideous window. our goal is to sheet the durawhatever, primer the walls and call it a day until we finally order the tiles. then i'll smash up the floor and let the true transformation take place- but that's at least a week away from starting due to aforementioned "visit". but we did buy a fancy towel ring and this bowed shower rod which may help with the claustrophobia that is the tub what with the walls being built over it and what not. but mom cleaned the windows and i never knew they could look so clean. seriously. totally surprised.

anyway, yesterday i repotted 20 or so plants, raising the soil levels, graduating certain gardenias to bigger pots. they were totally excited. i did stop briefly for some lunch and i went 1/2 way out, saw the neighbors flag and went right back in and got our flag, and around the same time dad said to mom, call m. and tell her to put out the flag. but she didn't. i told mom that such psychic promptings should desist immediately. as already she made me stop at starbucks the day before and get her iced coffee. but besides, after that another coat of paint (cranberry) inside the vanity, more nonspecified work and by quitting time we watched young victoria but not before some super tasty bbq chicken and corn on the cob. twas successful allround.

so there's some lifetimemovie with tonydanza on and i'm going to quick get an omlette going before i yoga. and then its helping install this whatever its called and trying not to ruin my manicure. oh, and then a church mtg about prayer things and whatever. have a good day you,

m.