eat THIS

I don’t watch the Today Show any more, because frankly, it annoys the shit out of me. However, I was briefly sucked in this morning before changing the channel to “Thomas and the Train,” as K.Lo calls it, and caught this genius snippet about food substitutions. In case you want to lose weight, you really should pay attention to this guy, the author of Eat This, Not That! No really, it’s brilliant. Some of his concepts make sense, like when he mentioned that the frozen pot pie has a 4-inch list of ingredients, and generally that’s not a good thing. And yes, making a few simple substitutions, in theory, will help a person lose weight. So long as the substitutions are smart. What really aggravated me was the comparison near the end of the clip of Quaker 100% Natural Granola to 8 fast-food chicken nuggets. Apparently they contain an equivalent amount of saturated fat, and are therefore nutritionally equal. Really? Really. He then says something flip along the lines of “100% Natural doesn’t really mean anything.”

I’ll be spending the rest of the morning scrubbing brain matter off the walls.

The main point of the segment was that, with so many options and advertisers competing for your money, it’s confusing to navigate the grocery store and make good nutritional choices. Agreed, absolutely. But common sense then goes out the window, as he proceeds to insinuate that calories and fat content are the only factors in a food’s nutritional value. Nothing is said about the actual ingredients to confirm that all-natural breakfast cereal is an infinitely better food choice than fast-food chicken nuggets, that their calories are not, in fact, equal.

Then again, maybe I’m just insulted because I have Quaker Natural Granola on my shelf, and think it’s a damn tasty and nutritious option for breakfast. But I do take some solace in knowing that whenever I run out, an 8-piece pack of nuggets will be a viable substitute. The Today Show told me so!

P.S. I do enjoy a good box of fast-food chicken nuggets now again, I do. But honestly.

 

Bad for you. Do not eat this stuff.

to:

• Buy new Socks.

• Eat more Fruits and Vegetables.

• Resume with this certain activity I was doing regularly before Christmas and this lovely cold happened… I think it was called “Exercise?” The details are fuzzy.

• Be the Bigger Person, be the bigger person, be the bigger person. Especially when it comes to the smaller people in my life. (Meaning those under 3 1/2 feet tall.)

• Walk Away for a little while, in the face of Vexing Technological Issues. Seriously.

• Continue quest for Debt Reduction, which is established and underway.

• Purchase with a Most Discriminating Eye.

• Remain ever wary of Indoctrination, in so many facets of our society. Never stop questioning, people!

• Enjoy It. (Meaning life!)

 

Cheers, everyone, to 2009!

        

take me home

Today, December 28, it was 76 degrees and sunny. We’re at the beach down South, what do I expect? It’s just not my cup of tea, let’s say, for it to be so warm in the so-called winter. I like seasonal weather. And also, I like a little landscape. Tomorrow, for the third time in the space of 3 weeks, I’ll be driving up to RDU, which has got to be one of the most boring 2 1/2-hour rides on earth. I’m not complaining about the purpose of each trip, but blah, it’s just sodamnboring, that drive. To me, it would go so much faster if there was something to look at, other than flatness and what I swear are the same groups of pine trees  flanking the road, repeated in cluster units for two-thirds of the way there.

This weather just reinforced an idea that had popped into my head about a week ago: We will move to the mountains before our golden years. I swear we will. I didn’t grow up in the mountains, but there were a lot of hills up there in upstate NY, and very seasonal weather, so I always feel at home in those NC mountains. And after 12 years here, I’m thinking that NC is turning out to be a pretty cool state. I feel like it’s the best of both worlds, the mountains, and we will get there. It’s all about timing, and determination, and the burning desire to wear scarves and mittens and hats in the month of December. To live in a little landscape.

merry christmas, everyone

 

phone-phobe: reason #742

This morning while out running errands, I received three calls. Thankfully, I had left my phone at the house; although, I suppose if I had been able to pick up to begin with, I would have not have received these messages. (More or less. I’m trying to block them out):

Call #1: No one says anything. In the background, sounds like child crying?

Call #2: Daniel. [Lady sounds surly.] You have got to get back to me and let me know where you are. I have been calling all morning. Call me back.

Call #3: Daniel. If you don’t call be back in FIFTEEN MINUTES I am going to put him in the crib. Close the door, and walk down.the.road. I have no idea where you are, and why you are not calling me. You in the hospital or something? Let me know. *Click.*

 

Baby? Put in crib and just leave the house? What? What is happening here?

YIKES.

I hope Daniel, whoever he is, called her back.

if i had a nickel

I’d have to put it in a jar somewhere and not touch it. Apparently, I am allergic to nickel. They mix it in with a lot of the jewelry here in the U.S. (cheap filler, even in more expensive stuff), and repeated exposure can cause a contact allergy. I blame all those damn earrings I used to have in my head: eight! A few years ago, my ears flipped out, and I couldn’t wear the earrings anymore. First I switched to all-silver and all-gold earrings, which helped for awhile, but then the plating would wear off, and finally I felt like clawing my ears off, so I decided I was done. I wear necklaces, mostly taking them off at night, but if I don’t, or sometimes even if I do, I get welts on my skin. Watches are the same. And now, I guess with the white-gold plating wearing down on my wedding rings, I can no longer wear them. It is beyond vexing.

While researching this issue and what to do about it (talk to the jeweler about re-plating? Try Nickel Guard?), I found THIS PICTURE, which is too scary to post. I’m serious. View at your own risk. In the meantime, I’m hoping for no nightmares tonight—and that that dude isn’t really allergic to nickel. Because, ouch.

and he shall be henceforth know as jell-o

When J.Lo and I play the Wii, our characters (obviously) are called J.Lo and Pen. That’s just who we are. This evening, J.Lo unlocked the ability to use his own character while playing MarioKart—all very exciting, I know. But K.Lo seems to think so. She’ll cheer on whomever: Princess Daisy, WaLuigi, Funky Kong, and now: JELL-O! Go Jell-o! Woohoo!

I just love it.

dear student loan company,

It’s been a long time. Too long for you, not long enough for me, although I have used up my stack of Get-Out-of-Payment cards and there is nowhere else to run. I realize my first payment in forever is due in January and lest I forget, you have provided me with multiple reminders, in my mailbox, my email, in the sky, etc. Thank you. I guess. I can be flaky and forget. I guess I just want to say, I got the picture. I’m not looking forward to our reunion. I’m not sure there’s enough in the couch cushions to cover you, but I’ll look. In the meantime, I’ll ponder the monetary returns I have yet to see on that cute little degree I insisted on getting a few years back, as well as the things like curtains and brie I cavalierly purchased on your dime. I’m pretty sure you’re getting the last laugh on this one.

Snowflakes and Candy Canes,

penelope

weekend odds & ends

• My favorite, only-pair-that-fits-right jeans now have a big old hole in the knee. I guess they were getting a little raggedy, so thin they wore clean through. But in the meantime, I am jeans-less, and a little sad.
• While at my friend J’s, someone EGGED my car. People still egg cars? The best part is that the shells were brown. I like picturing the hoodlum in question thieving his parents’ expensive brown eggs to go throw around the neighborhood.
• I really like my wreath (below). I might have mentioned that. It cost under $10 to make. Even the bird makes me  happy.
• Our deck is now all gone, courtesy of badass, crowbar-wielding J.Lo. Plans for spring include a new, lower deck, possibly with a tin roof. I like the way they sound in the rain. Not to mention I’d love some shade, without breaking the bank.
• I *accidentally* forgot my computer at my parents’ house this weekend, which meant I *couldn’t* do any work during Craft Weekend. *Oops.* I’m kind of sick of work. I find it highly over-rated, especially during the holidays. However, being sick of work doesn’t make the need for it go away. Profound, I know.
• Susie nearly won Survivor: Gabon last night. While I’m sure she’s a lovely person in real life, she did nothing of note the entire season, save for creating fire in a challenge where no one else could. I would have DIED if she won. Sugar didn’t really try for votes, which is why she didn’t get any… but the contest should have been down to her and Bob. Susie was the recipient of three “I don’t know who else to vote for” votes, but that doesn’t make them okay. Also, Corinne is Evil Personified.
• I now officially drink my coffee black. It only took a few days to get used to it. It’s tasty.
• I’ve no idea what to make for J.Lo’s work potluck. Something savory. Any suggestions?

crafty!

Pressed flowers and ModPodge.

Live Pansy by J.

 

   

I’m totally proud of this wreath!

 

For K.Lo’s preschool teachers and friends.