Penbunsandabs,

Why does working in an office make people (me) so hungry and snackish? I'm contemplating a coffee addiction. I don't want it to be a longterm relationship sort of thing though. Perhaps a flirtation. I can't decide. It calls to me though. It really does. And all the teas have lecithin so nevermind that.

I remembered my lotion, cuticle cream, headphones, snacks (stale ricecakes were a mistake), fruit, almonds, gum. I've favorited radio stations, a book i want to read on mysticism, news- i need more things to watch/listen too. Maybe not though. It's like not having a mug makes me hesitate about the coffee/hot cocoa situation. And because of administrator only upgrades, no netflix, no hulu and NO youtube. Oddly i can watch stuff on funnyordie. So thats a plus. Also I've observed that besides the whacky biodegradable plates and such there is a heavy ice consumer besides me. So by 2 already we're out, the cubes aren't freezing fast enough. There's only 1 tray. Though maybe its more than just my unknown nemesis. It could be anyone. But still I want a pristinely cold beverage. And is it too much to ask when its 98 out and sleepily temperate inside?

OH and did i mention. I totally got out of uryjay utyday. boo0-yah! I was suppose to go in today and i was determined to make at least the $400 due me after tax for a full weeks worth of work. Hence the, i'm totally not going govt. Throwthebookatme. I'm sure this 2 wk long debacle will resurface in the future but for now, i've escaped. I called at 8am, spoke to a very nice man (shocking) who said I just needed to send in my form, filling out sections a,b,g,f and done. So dazed by such ease I wandered off into traffic and made it to work without dying.

I may even make it to yoga. Today's the day. I wish I had more things to tell you. But the length of conflict is very low and i've gone into, how to burn the day and do nothing. I'vE already slipped back into it. So that I can by the end of the day tell you not at all what i've done. I think there were some breakroom,w/c visits, a morning meeting about photographs and cheerleaders. I did have to deliver some tapes and find something on the internet but that was about it. I think?

I will contemplate other love affairs... french perhaps, gyms, swimming, nature- i wonder what new ones there are- tea definitely- was recently cultivated. my love of non-wheat related things? Must contemplate the newness of new habits that teeter on the abyss or have already entrenched themselves. Certainly work is one.

Queen of Grout

Entering a boy den is always a tricky thing. Especially with a stereotype collection of felons, bikers, gruff construction workers, and you have the basics of who is building movie sets. They're usually heavily tattooed and foul mouthed too. I do not exaggerate. And at the point I got there I was the only girl on set. A scrappy white guy with dreds and a weathered face named "Scull-y" looked me up and down and says, Are you going to get dirty in that? With your fancy sweater and your shoes? I said, this is a $10 shirt from old navy. Then I thought how dirty are we getting? He said, can you draw a straight line? I said firmly, yes. Though I did have my doubts. And it became clear to me why I had to ring favors out of my friend and only did the cubicle 4.116 move my friends boyfriend to pity for a recommend. But then I think, have a little faith already. Apparently they're so used to getting idiots that the fact that i can draw a straight line makes me a sparkling genius, that and I'm quick.

Scully said, do not draw lines here, and here and here- and there- that would fuck me up. Don't fuck me up. I said, I don't hate you yet. He took me arm in arm to survey the set. He said, you got it? Yahh, yah, I said, I got it.

him: who knew she was going to be so competent.

Then later talking to his felon friend RayRay. RayRay says, what do you need today Scully? And Scully says, my cock sucked. (they laugh) He then notes I am in the room quitely painting. He puts his arm around my shoulder, "That was so inappropriate of me. Sorry. Do you forgive me? I'm so sorry."

Words from another guy, "This beats jail though, and the crew is nice."

Words from today: I get a hug from Scully in the morning, who often shouts my name and calls me the Queen of Grout. He drops his cigarette ashes in the paint buckets and tells me how his biker gang threw him a baby shower, and that they cussed him out for crying. He said, it wasn't my fault, i was just so fucking touched.

And the guys, they seem to like me calling me random names like whatever shirt i'm wearing: like stussy,redsand and billabong. And saying things like, after my 9th heartattack i realized I had to get my life straight. I'm 52, now i'm going to music school and I've just written a symphany. I really do want to see this producer succeed. And another, hey you probably went to school for this and now your drawing straight lines. Yes sir I say, I have the debt to prove it. Good girl he says, what does debt matter anyway.

Even a random actor walked in, viewing the set came by, and my eyes sort of locked with his, thinking, I know this guy! But probably not. But maybe? He says, sorry to interrupt. I say, not at all. I run into him later, I at the top of the ladder with a paint can and roller in my hand, he says, have we met before? I said, yes, maybe? He said, were we lovers? I said, yes, and it was beautiful.

He smiles. The executive producer walks off, he says to him, what- i was busy flirting.

Then later Scully tells me two more girls are coming and he wants me to mentor them and show them what to do. I said, what like a girl gang? He said, yes, so you could all pms together and give me the stink eye.

So we can tell you to stop your foul mouthed, smoking ways?
Yes. Fucking exactly that, I'm so glad you're here.

Well so THEN, by M

I get a call and he says, we got your resume from realitystaff and I say, okay. Yah? Cool. Animal Planet? Alright. Come in for an interview? Okay. I got the job? Charmed you with youtube refs and my wink and knowledgable head nod.... Yah. Then the boss says, as long as you're goot at writing. Who me? I've got a degree on the wall to prove it. (Insert laughs) Did they laugh? Glance around.

So just like that- in the span of 3 1/2 hours I became employed and no less, only 4 miles from home. Dare to dream! I'm going to save over $100 in gas each month.

It's good because the time off had gotten just a wee bit destructive. And though I'd been reining it in lately, the days still mashed into one another and made it impossible. So I find myself in a bullpin and thrown into action. Pitch meetings on friday, lots of "research" to do... no clearly defined supervisor, a guy who says, we don't punch clocks, and a treasure map to the supply closet and the new hire paperwork. I am positively unsure of myself. This job seems to require responsibility. And unguided at that.

new job things.

currently drinking: orange/spice tea out of a wedding mug circa 2004 "rick and abbie" ( i hope they made it.)
counting down: the minutes (totally dying here. am so done with this day)
off to french: i have like 5 more classes! that's it. that's where it went. just like that. bon. am totally signing up for french 2. who's with me!
a change it is a comin: i applied to be a story assistant on Bridezillas. i made a new list of places to job search, new occupations i might try such as: florist, cruise ship entertainer and curator. i either have 2wks OR 3 depending on if the company i work for are a-holes or not. it's not that i didn't know this was coming and yet when it comes, when it's final... you know. fuck it. all the rest.