Tuesday, February 12, 2013

dear non-vehicular penelope,

You've forgotten that I did in fact watch all of pro-run allstars, but then there have been gaps in our communique...so maybe this is an unknown... As if we couldn't see from a mile away Anthony Ryan winning- since the buzz words of "new" and "fresh" are always guarantees to run over even the best or more experienced. I've managed also to keep up with once, new girl, and had even started watching downton- which surprisingly stressed me out too much. So I stopped watching and just read all the spoilers online. Oh and the office, the lice episode- genius, the women this season have been given some really epically good lines, though I could do without the triangle of david/pam/jim- even if I love finally that the film crew is involved in the end- about frickin time but really this is how they chose to intro them- really!?, oh and the end of 30rock. And have managed to, despite your disbelief in reading this, am up to date on prorun- teamNOTastic edition. Seriously james. And that poor woman with the taffeta her team encouraged her with. Good god. I do love the guy with the stache though. How can you not? I don't know. The non-kors guy is ok- he has that look like oh seriously are you trying to lie to me right now? Your garment is going to make me cry. He might warm up on me.

All this to say that I have a lot of time by myself- being a non-partier, not nightgo-outer. Oh and that I'm by myself. Entirely.  I paint my nails. I cut off a couple inches of my hair. I compose emails, blogs, stare at my budget, get headaches trying to plan when i shouldn't, and drink a lot of soda water. I did just meet a couple I met in phong nha and that makes me happy- they were pretty downtoearth and got stuck in nha trang too and seemed pretty ambivalent about being here just like I am. Though they just arrived. There's this backpacker trail and its not a bad thing, though I can't say I've made a band of brothers or anything. And this last 5 days has me pretty bored. Even as I muster gratitude for coconuts, coffee and sand. Just yesterday I had the most boring massage. I sound horrible right? I mean I was so tense. I couldn't relax. It was just appalling in its lacklusterness of the girl didn't know really what she was doing but trying to "relax" me. And today I actually left a restaurant, after I ordered, because they were serving tourist groups ahead of me only for it to happen to me in the next restaurant on a smaller scale. I shit you not. And then I went to get a smoothie and they were out of ice. At which point I was like fuckyounhatrang. Here's my middlefinger. Anyway. I'm ungrateful. I've been apologizing to God nonstop for being so completely agro about this horrible life I have. Contracted prisonsentenceOVER. Money made to travel. BooHoo.

But I think the go-go-go of my past year of a life has made it impossible to some extent for me to stay put and I'm having some sort of forced r/r here. And resenting it. I keep thinking, I should go on a hike, or a long walk or a run, or SOMETHING. But i'm so restless I just grumble and am like EH. Needless to say I am totally psyched to have some friend company that is Cath. Thank the Lord. Who has limited time and wants to see things. Otherwise seriously I might just wander around Saigon eating Pho and finding the best coffee- though really is that bad? I've totally become a food tourist, a shy one but still. However, right now I feel a little emotionally unhinged with all this pentupness like for some reason just a bit of disappointment or crestfallenexpectations and I start cracking like I might cry. So hello neuroses. I guess it's probably good i'm not going to any idyllic honeymoon/valentines day spots that are mui ne and dalat or I might justflipmyshit entirely.

So yah, life at the perfumegrass is pretty grand if I weren't so grumbleguss about it. There's plants and fish and fountains and  niceness. Though the smell of incense pervades over any grassness. Let alone the shit they burn for good luck constantly out and about on the streets- I do love an excuse to set a fire but it just seems like a bowl or directly into the street is just - a little what-ever. Ok i'm going to go try for my smoothie and yet another attitude adjustment. Wish me luck. I am in some sort of hedonistic capital of paradisical excess so I might as well enjoy it.

Peace and love,

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