Thursday, January 10, 2013

#31 Coming down

Coffee shop. Check.
2 shot cap.
Money in the bank.
Over the wires.
Blue skies.
Warm almost.
And it's Friday.

Things must be slowing down somewhat. I feel a little clear even if i can't manage to go to the postoffice or e-mart. Buying travel insurance must have settled me a bit. I'm reading Snow Flower and the Secret Fan. I would start this letter by saying, Dear old same, or laotang though we really haven't been pledged to each other, though you know that's the sort of thing I would totally be into, and i'm not sure how the novel is going to end, but they write to each other on a fan and I think we have a better relationship than they do ultimately and our feet haven't been bound so- there's that going for us also.

I love your rainbow crochet and that you actually crochet- remembering the blanket i began once in 4th grade and never finished. I suppose my industriousness is different- I have almost finished another photo album of my journey here- but haven't come close to having photos printed off of the epic adventure. So many projects await me when I come back from Narnia.

dear old same,

when will we meet again? when will i be able to sit by your side and breathe in the same air and learn of you and your quiet and sometimes turbid waters? why does life and circumstance conspire to keep us apart? you know that I hate to wait- a lust for the now and the immediate always throwing me off my gate. i am the sleeping dragon and when awake impatient and huffing on my target. when set upon something it takes a long time to pull me back and reorient me. it need not be devastating but since i am a large fire dragon it takes a lot to right me after having to veer from the course originally set- even if only in our minds and hearts and not in actual plane tickets. what can we say? but we hope and perhaps. though i've not completely given up on the idea of seeing you in march, it seems tenuous and too much to try and breathe life into it, unless the moment is right and it strikes then it'll come together otherwise it seems no use trying to hold something so fragile. we must wait. i can't bare to look at it too closely.

you asked also of these friends forged here- that is the gift of the roaming church. i wasn't kidding about that- they're all from church. the people i know not from church have not rooted and i never see them and there isn't the same impassioned loyalty of- let's do this and THIS, at least not with me. i suppose born of the diligence of trying to stay together every sunday. i can't say that it was really ever so epic until september or october- But we are actually known on the island as being part of the church group- which apparently didn't exist until last year or really fully this. so it's a oh, you're a part of THAT group.

i've gotten to mentor a couple women spiritually and that's been awesome. and i suspect no matter how far a field we go in the world and from facebook and talking there will be a 'remember when' with at least a few of my friends here- a let's reunite across the world sort of thing. i'll be interested to see how it plays out. this kindred-ness. but i don't really know if they'll just be a fond blur or a part of something lasting- which reminds me i've had a blow. and since i know mom is listening, i'll say it to you both- remember jeremiah? my friend of so long ago and so much drama and chaos- is alive- and on facebook. there are no words. i just found out. he was there suddenly commenting on an acquaintance's post. that was tuesday night? i saw it and i've left it there dangling for two days, and busy enough to let it be so. i simply just don't know. but there he is.

but that's how fast i'm going. he's a curious blip amidst the motion of to-do's and meet ups. monday night was rest. tuesday night skype with sjt. wednesday night w/yeasl. thursday night rest. friday night out with jenna for a last of. tomorrow the same. sunday the same. and then my last full week on the island.

my love to you from across the waters,
from this the 15thish day.


1 comment:

somebodys mom said...

I am surprised at how often I think of him and wonder. Interesting world with all these connections.