Dear Penelope, by M

i can't believe you've left me for the weekend. i'm sitting here eating bing cherrys and contemplating the quiet of my house and the warm breeze outside. parents are gone down to redondo for the day and night. maybe i'll take my bra off and spice things up a bit. see whats on tv or find a netflix to watch. certainly not leaving the house, no intention really of seeing anyone. happen to be in an anti-social phase of the week, unfortunately lying on a holiday. seem to be missing that jovial, come on down and swim in the lake sort of atmosphere, like a holiday weekend sort of thing- i hope you're having a blast. bcs that seems idyllic. like the pinnicle of what it means to celebrate. that or a pool, and a boyfriend. but certainly that.

i'm going to see that holistic chick on monday. good thing i asked if she took creditcards. allocated some funds, sort of, and should be no problem. funny its cash. waiting for my last paycheck to come in anyway. and since i love analysis of me i hope she's got some interesting things to say.

weighed myself on friday and seemed to have inexplicably lost 2lbs. i don't at all know where they've got to. swam my 20laps and inhaled some pool water in the bargain. don't at all know how to really get chlorine out of the hair. the tips of my hair are bleach blonde. saw this blackwoman taking somesort of wrap to her hair, a plastic cap and then a swimming cap. wonder if she came out dry. should maybe get one along with another pair of goggles. maybe i'll join weightwatchers after i lose 100lbs and become obsessive about slices of bread. but either way can't wait to yoga with you one day. maybe one day when we have full screen video chat skype conversations we can be side by side.

meeting kerry's boy on sunday. heard that within 36 hours they had 2 good phone conversations. at the beach yesterday another girl said it'd been 3 days since her boy had called her after their first date but i guess he called in btw the beach and the yogurt shop. so free and clear there. wondering if we could all be in relationships all at once so we're not all (meaning me) annoyed by such talk of the minuit progress of such things. no stopping it anyway i guess. and its fun? when i got stung by that bee it was hourly updates about swelling and discomfort. new relationships might be alot like getting stung by happyinducing nettles. and then its all vague mysterious interactions.

yesterday it was so windy at aforementioned frolicking spot it was picking up in a steady storm and salting us head to toe. i had sand in my ears and some other places. took my friends son spinning to mars, pluto and saturn at least 10times, drew a crab, that's not what a crab looks like, drew a shark, that's not what a shark looks like, and so on. surfed the pretty warm waves of seal beach. then had dutch chocolate frozen yogurt piled with chopped almonds and fruit. glad yogurt is making a comeback after its death in the late 90's. came home then and washed lolly down to her rims. spent the night having sister wendy telling me about art down to 'nasty pointy shoes', 'cleave of the buttocks' and so on. it was pretty great.

got up without a todo list. though i'm staring at one. maybe work on my cenAm albums. finish my letter to my 38yrold self. either way. its time.

xo,m.