Saturday, January 28, 2012

My love,

I definitely need details. All the time. More and more. That'll keep me anchored as the haze wears off, when the ticking of the timer on this stupid electric stove i'm now stuck with drives me to my last end, or when the orangish street light shining in my room becomes intolerable or the shoddy wallpaper begins to peel for what appears to be inevitable come the humidity of summer. Or when, in the next storm, the cord keeping me virtually connected snaps and flies off into the ocean because it's precariously dangling over the street. Or when i become sick of rice, and no one speaking english or when my brain bursts from trying to cook everything without a microwave or oven. And for when all the wants creep in as they will, as they are... the abolutely brutal urge to make life "simple", which drives me to complexity and debt.

That is of course the problem with me- foreseeing just now the downslide, or fearing that the lingering gripes of teachers, or routine become mine. I really want to be anchored with a different attitude. I don't want the same as usual, or the well it's about time when... though i watch for the shadow falling anyway. But that is when God must be the better for me yes? He must.

Mostly I am supressing the panic of stepping into new routines- teaching young ones. I've only observed so far and they are all adorable and the teachers all make it look easy as they fly rapidly from one activity to the next- homework check, review, new activity, reinforce activity, game, repeat, repeat. I am constantly reminding myself I have time- time to get lost, to be confused, to get overcharged because my grocery bag is sub'ing as my laundry bag and that's why i've not brought it and so must buy a plastic one 3x already. And to find rhythms at work. Probably is why all my energy is going to decorating my place. My brain won't wrap itself around something it hasn't done yet, so it waits like a coiled spring. But here in my apt i've hung sheer curtains to seperate the kitchen, made a covering for the flourescent lighting, and put a sticker decal of camillia blossoms on my balcony/laundry area door. Ive made a 20item list at least and spent too much money on supplies, like ginger and plum vinegar and seasame oil, and a dishsoap called "Safe" that smells like grapes/wine, and has the tag line about adding pleasurable taste to your dishwashing experience.

I'm sorry about your hair. I hate that phase. Just think of me sticking out all over the place here and smile for the inability to disappear into the background- though of course i never did that much there either. I must have though. Here I don't know. Anyway by 10, 9 really- I become dreadfully tired. I think it probably is jetlag still. Sleepy enough to passout with the question of, why fight it? My teaching schedule has me ending at 830ish so it's hard to figure out when I'll be getting up and going. Remind me to tell you about the work drama. Really it needs no reminding but it's got to wait. More on the coming and going of me at KinK- maybe tomorrow.

My love to you on Jeju.

ps. I've eaten well pen, never fear. You'll have to search the following because if i take time to load the pics or find them, i never will- the horror of no easy camera phone is still singed into my finger tips too so it's going to take a bit to readjust- until i get some fancy local phone.

On the plane to Korea: Bibimbop,
Airport: Jamba Juice (Pomegrante Passion),
Dinner: Dokgalbi, Starbucks... it gets a bit fuzzy after that, but anything i missed assume i was eating almonds and 2 of my last clif bars.
2nd day: Tea, Starbucks, Bulgogi, Tea, McDonalds, Tea
3rd day: Coldish soup gone awry at airport with instant cup, apple, post airport: full korean spread: puree'd pumpkin, fish, rice with beans, sweet juice, sprouts of some kind? fern?, pork, random things i have no idea what they were but most all were good, then back to soup, and an apple, and a free shot of milkcoffee from a vending machine at the restaurant. suh-weet. had the same at the bank the next day.
4th day: apple, soup, rice, yogurt, instant korean bbq in a bag that i boiled to warm up- actually not bad... and some shared tuna rolls in the breakroom. forget what else.
5th day: eggs/rice, kiwis, fried rice thing and eggdrop soup bcs the teachers order chinese on fridays, apple, lots of oj in the last few days too, can't for the life of me remember dinner.
6th day- today- eggs/rice, apple, oj, some sort of sushi/roll with fresh ginger, fried chicken and a potato... done myself. oh yes, yes i did... i'll let you know how the kbbq marinade with pork goes tomorrow.... and the salad i'm going to make with random leafed vege and the dressing i'm going to make. mmm hmm. oh yes.

1 comment:

somebody's mom said...

Adventure on!