Saturday, July 30, 2011


I feel like it’s going to be another low-count month for blog posting. Which is sad. Because there’s so much to say! Right? I mean, my dreams could be their own blog. To recap for our reader(s), I had a dream where I was living in Vermont with J.Lo, and the couple next door convinced me to undergo a recreational embalming procedure. I know. I’m speechless, too. I obviously freaked out within the dream and reneged, but – ? I’m practically afraid to go to sleep again. What will that brain come up with next.

My throat is dry. My clothes are lame. Ideas to make them more interesting swirl around my brain. The annual spiedie contest is next week, and this year I’m entering the homemade competition. I’ve got a secret ingredient and method in my back pocket. The dishes aren’t done, and I hate that. There’s too much dog hair in the air. The heat is ridiculous. But apparently it breaks here a lot sooner than, say, October. That sucked. I signed up on a church committee to help out at a fair-trade sale. I picked up some add’l BS freelance work. I’m editing or eventually going to be an editor for a friend’s online literary journal. But not yet. And that one doesn’t pay. But that’s totally okay. We had a playdate. I heart my bookclub. I heart my online friends. I wish you all lived next door. Except I’d probably still be a borderline recluse. We have one tomato from the plant outside. That will be it. But my mom gave us a lot of vegetables this year and some of them were heirloom tomatoes. Which I heart, because they are odd-shaped and pink and taste like tomatoes should. I learned to can. Next spring I’ll learn to make jam. With strawberries. I now own a giant spatula this size of quesadillas and pancakes. I cut my hair again, and J.Lo’s; scissor-wielding makes me feel slightly powerful. I don’t want my baby to go to off to school, but every day I can’t wait for her to go to school. I drank two white chocolate martinis tonight. We made spicy orange chicken for dinner. Someone tried to steal $2000 of my nonexistent money the other day and the fraud department called to say they have to cancel my debit card. Which I’m incredibly grateful for, but still it’s sort of vexing. Who does that kind of thing. And this all explains the last part of my dream about the creepers couple next door in Vermont, in which a fraud officer showed up to say that same couple overcharged us for previous services rendered (carpet cleaning was apparently their side business?) and also charged me in advance – $10K for the fluids and procedural work required in the recreational embalming. Which was so not part of the deal anyway.

I’m still freaking out about it a little. J.Lo is playing Borderlands and seems highly amused – that’s your game, right? And I need to do the dishes. And then lie in bed and read The Help. And hope for dreams that feature rainbows and lilypads.



almost anonymous said...

It's not a full moon, so what's with the weirdo dreams? I, too, have had some doozies in the last week. Nothing to rival the embalming though. Yikes.

Embalming isn't even on dictionary. Although to see a mummy means you're feeling trapped in a maybe it's similar? :) I'm sure an online dream interpretation is highly accurate, but they're comprehensive, if nothing else. (To dream you're watching MTV means you're watching too much MTV, apparently.)

And from one borderline recluse to another, online friends are for enabling.

I'm highly impressed with your hair cutting abilities.

somebody's mom said...

Maybe it's the heat and humidity. It rained today.

Very humid by our standards.

Here's wishing you have dreams of happy bunnies in fields of sunflowers that are visited by lovely butterflies.

erin j said...

on the jam note... i LOVE jam. it is the EASIEST thing to make. you CANNOT screw it up, cause even if it doesn't set, you still have syrup and it's still yummy! I just made a batch of blueberry from my mil's tree and they were frozen. If you get the pectin in a jar you can make one jar at a time. Just sayin. Also, you don't need a canner, just flip the jars over after filled while still hot and then reflip after 5 minutes (or forget about it until you are writing about it on a friends blog and then you have an air pocket on the bottom of the jar, which is okay, but funny looking) and voila! sealed!