don't look too far over the rainbow...

sure i'm a jackass, but um your tv choices are sort of freaking me out. well except for the eerie fact we watch GG at exactly the same time or that whole meet the fockers quirk. i suppose we can't be alike all the time. i don't know why i find reno 911 funny, and yet i do. i won't give it up. so i can see your point.

also, today i had a brush with employment. there was a glint of hope and some glee- it would be a writer's p.a. gig... wow, so close to the gold i can see the fence and the heavy steel door. i even got to talk to someone who knows someone. i'm only 3 removed from the person i contacted so that's a total plus. and i spoke to them on the phone- sure they were going thru their messages, and hadn't had their morning coffee or gone to the bathroom but they were nice and took my number- sure they didn't call me back- but they took my number, and told me why they wanted to keep the conversation down to 3 seconds... more or less. (god bless my friend who would be my cheerleader.) these little leads help keep me going, help me to understand that i do desire human contact and new experience- if even, a paycheck and possible career advancement. it sort of jars me out of my privilaged class reality or really ambivilance, bcs lets face it, anyone can be apathetic to their own existence. how blessed am i to have running water enough for the garden to grow, all my limbs, my rolls of soon to be diminished fat and time upon time to contemplate such things. i won't be this exuberant often, and it wasn't much. i feel i'm innately betraying my namesake. so i'm going to roll my eyes and take a shower... maybe not care at all that the water washing over me isn't a waste.

i told a friend today that i wanted her to be happy. and she replied, i don't know if the place exists. or if i ever will be. or how to find my way there. and i replied, it does. i am... i wanted to write something else but i didn't think i could explain it over email.