love the pretty pictures

and Harry Potter: The Prisoner of Azkaban. and, summer television. here are the warm fuzzy blankets of my life, currently, how i am easing my way through morning sickness and the summer blahs:

• Hit Me Baby One More Time: i cannot express in words how much reality-tv crossovers warm my soul. is anyone out there writing a thesis-like analysis of how Rob VanWinkle, a.ka. Vanilla Ice, totally would not have done a show like Hit Me before going on The Surreal Life, and working the huge chip off of his shoulder with the help of twinkly-toothed Erik Estrada? not only did he seem completely relaxed and like he was having fun with the whole affair, but he did his one-hit wonder in its original version, totally kicked it with his own version of Destiny Child's "Survivor"--no other artist to date has done a cover on the show with their own lyrics--and won the audience vote. booyah. and do we remember how he defaced his early nineties image that was plastered over the set of Surreal? this is progress, people.
• Blow Out: Jonathan in all of his arrogant glory reminds me of a more vain, more controlling, richer male version of my very own Evil Spa Boss. He must. Create. The Best Hair Product. Ever. i just enjoy seeing him cut famous people's hair. and the song, do whatcha gotta do... here is an instance that completely speaks my argument on why Britney and Kevin: Chaotic, is not good, and is completley skin-crawly, and makes me wish for the days of watching Mini Me ride around drunk and naked on his scooter to pee in the corner of the exercise room. because Jonathan is completely repulsive, and yet due to the way the show is filmed, he is utterly fascinating and i can't stop watching.
• Bridezillas: I miss the tinkly piano backdrop music of last summer, and it's not clear that these are all NYC brides, which somehow had its own flavor. and i miss Miho and Joe, just because I liked saying their names in my head. but ah, Bridezillas. no better summer tv, except:
• Reruns of Gilmore Girls and The OC. I am suddenly entirely content with watching shows that I have seen more than once, and have even seen recently, so that I could recite the whole freaking episode in my sleep. there are becoming my snuggly pajama pants, my Taco Bell Nachos Supreme. need i say more than Star's Hollow and Newport Beach?

For My Anonymous Cheerleader 

Turkey 

Paramount 

Chronicles of a Jackass: Revisited

Reasons why Mendacious is a Jackass:

Following the conditions of "nothing" since the 2 year marker: ie. fame-whore

1: She worked for Paramount and we got to make asses out of ourselves in front of Kiefer Sutherland (yum). Who said he was an animal basking in the sun? Oh yes, that's right. You did. Also, Free Movies and a visit to Dr. Frickin' Phil. Come on, remember the free muffins and coffee? How could that not be a good time?

2: May I remind you that you went to Turkey? Seriously. You went to Turkey. You have also been to Ireland. (Jackass).

3: Following, you worked at Bunim-Murray and got to Log "The Inferno II"... How is that not cool? Or at the very least the beginning of something cool? (Do the Good Guys win? No, don't tell me.)

Just because you're neither married, nor pregnant, nor purchasing a house does not give you absolute rights on the absence of landmarks, certainly less dazzling landmarks, but you're still a Jackass.

interlude

mendacious had a habit of eating sunflower seeds for breakfast. to the right, on her desk lay the bag, and to the left of her keyboard lay a heap of seeds- which she took from occassionally- not unlike a chipmunk would store up seeds for later in her mouth. moving the seeds from left to center, shucking them, and then to the right, and finally out. eating them one at a time engaged too much of her hands which she used for typing- or surfing the web or whatever it was but i hesitate to say it was actual work.

kimono series 

le chat 

illusory world.

so hello. the blog is still here. we haven't gone away. wee. good times. so... yah. i'm bored. it does go back to the feeling like there's nothing to talk about even though i know there is. like there was this lady, my friend's neighbor who has a giant orange tabby named chewbacca. and it walks on a leash. she told me that she muscled CatFancy magazine into publishing pictures of her bohemith cat. CatFancy made the mistake of saying, "we're not in the habit of featuring corpulent cats." (more like fat cats, which is also fun- than overweight cats, which is probably what she said) but anyway, the lady then went on a tyriad and called every single department at CatFancy over several weeks, demanding penance or vengence or something- so they capitualted to the corpulent cat, chewbacca and he is going to be in the September issue of CatFancy. She concluded our talk with- "People, don't fuck with my cat."

Awesome. I know. At least the cat likes me, but the lady might be jealous. Mental noted, keep my distance.

But here's the thing, do you ever have that feeling that your life is happening in 3rd person or only in association with so and so went here and did this with... friends... i would be the friend. the friend that things aren't happening to. but how can i complain about that? if i were to write my memoirs it would be "and thus passed an uneventful time in her life." am i just a landmark whore? like it's been 2 yrs since my last landmark, so apparently without one i lead an incomplete, trite and capricious existence? like, no spotlight = ?... oh god. that's horrible. i'm a fame-whore. i have peace, i have contentment, i can pay my bills, lead a leisurely enough existence to read Don Quioxte without compunction... how can that be boring.

100 Ways to Get Thru Work from Now Until January: An Excerpt

79. Pretend you're dumb, like the girl down the row, thus making you less sensitive to customer attitude and your own mistakes.

78. Think of other places you've been, i.e. London, Chicago, Paris.

77. Plan what you'll eat for lunch or dinner, whatever's next.

76. Become obsessed, in the manner of an all-consuming cold, by your latest pregnancy symptoms.

75. Perform sock puppet shows starring you and choice customers.

74. Motivate self: kid will be spazzy if you're too spazzy during pregnancy.

73. REMEMBER THE BENEFITS.

72. Invent alternative cocktails, in addition to The Warm Bath.

71. Pretend you just got lost on the way to the grocery store and simply, temporariliy, landed at this desk.

70. Pretend you're on a show like "Candid Camera" (shouldn't be hard), and it's all a colossal joke.