Friday, September 9, 2011

Penance,

: something (as a hardship or penalty) resembling an act of penance (as in compensating for an offense)
 
On trial: Credit Card debt. Currently hovering at... 16,000. Before I became unemployed (2 1/2) years ago it was at 9,800. Granted I've put taxes on here, some stuff right before I got laid off that I was sure I could pay off, my car insurance... All of that spiked it up there but the padding was provided by meals out, nordstrom rack occasionally, and starbucks and who knows what else. Let's be clear, I've gotten so much better at saying- NO in the last year. But still now the gas is going on there too.
 
And frankly this penance could not come at a better time... as I've finally been cut off from govt. cheese, and CA still has the 2nd worse unemployment rate next to Nevada, and that there are no jobs in sight. Since a job that i actually wanted back in June didn't come through almost precisely 2 years to the day my last job interview didn't come through. And as this preacher said, you Mendacious, do not have control over the recession. No sir, i do not. Which makes me think to that carefree time in the back of that van broken down by the side of the road in Costa Rica and we were all talking about the economy and doing our part to stimulate it before its epic meltdown...But anyway, all that besides, I've wanted to teach overseas on and off since grad school. Japan. Iraq. Taiwan. All have been open to me at one time or another and finally now South Korea. I'm walking through that door i think. It's time. 
 
On the spiritual side you can blame that fast I took in August and a tiny status update on FB and a mere suggestion from a friend-- and honestly it calls to abandon everything i care about- but not in the nihilistic sense, mostly in the God's hand and care and control sense. Which was a bigdeal for me in August... that taking what I want when i want it thing. It also calls for budgeting, goal setting, new experiencing, epic blogging and a trip to southeast asia as a reward when i'm done. That's win/win? I mean if i move to Busan I'm a days ferry ride from Japan...Shanghai China, HongKong, Tokyo... need I say more!? Oh and when i'm done I'll be about 5,000 in debt still... with my options open to me and hopefully no creditcards in sight.
 
Let's think about it. It might just be a good thing.
m.
 
 

1 comment:

ashley said...

I feel, perhaps, like adventure has been brewing for you? Perhaps it is time for a mendacious-sees-the-world chapter?