pen-

i was restless today. well after taking the time to crew cut the 20+ft hedge front to back. i see daylight in it's yet to be filled in spots which would've made me sad in years past but i'm trying to get better at that whole reining in nature thing... i didn't quite have the energy to consolidate the debris so the nursery has huge mounds of basket weaving material all over- though serves them right for putting hiabiscus near us which got to shaded and then developed whitefly which in turn effected like 5 other plants on our premises, and it's not quite finished on the left side but i need supervision as i'm cutting near a phone line. intermittently my life did flash before my eyes as i took the vista in around me while balancing the humming rotating blades in my hand. but there really wasn't anything to see and there was no transcendent breeze hitting my face either. i did keep telling myself sarcastically, yah, go ahead cut toward yourself with the electric hedgetrimmer. go ahead, do it. i am such an ass. besides it has way worse consequences when i cut fruit toward myself trying to undo years of mom and home EC, and then i went to shower and have lunch. and i managed not to once fall to my death. or hack anything that wasn't hedge. and now i'm all clean and fed and sparkly with nothing to do.

so out of boredom i went to get a latte. and now i'm all twitchy from caffeine-- i vetoed returning my moms purchase to target because i knew i'd buy something more expensive than a latte. and that's where i am. the day just sort of took an unsatisfactory turn in the last 4 hours. i should've gone back outside. that's where my energy was. wandering around the house and thinking about things to pack hasn't been fruitful. i spruced up the artroom, and whatever.. but eh. i need to get rid of the tv (20" boulder. couldn't i buy a small flat screen when i get back? or? no? i mean cuz that would be spending money...) and the printers i've decided... or should i keep one of them? i mean i can't decide. (1 lazer printer 1color printer 1possibly badnozzle color printer) ach. oh and a letter from citbank  to tell me-- $15 per month i don't have $6000 in my account. are you KIDDING ME?!  so now i have to break up with them. totally blows. sure i owe them money but uh...yah. i can't afford $15 either.canNOT. whatassholes.

anyway, i have that korea skype tonight. i'm thinking december and if there isn't anything in busan i'm not sure i'm willing to wait. i could always move mid year. lose my bonus and start again... decisions decisions. or first year seoul. second year busan? hummm. allright i better go. i have more wandering around aimlessly to fit in and dinner and well not much else but still.