proposed solution

For next time, m?

xo,

pen :)

 

Bringitthefuckon!

Hi, My name is Mendacious and I have a ticket problem. In my more angry moments tonight I might have tossed the cat abruptly onto the couch and earlier taken a shot of whiskey but in my more sober moments I'm sitting here, staring into the space and thinking WHAT THE FUCK?!
It all started back this last Summer when my friend Kerry said, Are you sure? And I said, Sure about what? Little did I know about the camera and how the cityfucksyouuptheass when you turn right on a redlight which is a mostly safe and very minor infraction but still costs $170+. Anyway I delayed my trial and just now got the decision back of, yah, you're guilty, fucking too bad. Whatever right? At least i fought it. But now let's see if I can get traffic school going. I've got time. I'm jobless. That'll be $40 at least.

So then you know, I hadn't been blogging and I was all, it's a beautiful winter day, let's go hiking. So I waited for Kerry and parked @ this high curb near the trail entrance, nevermind that I told kerry to park there too- and not 4 minutes before returning the evil parking people- who I've never seen not once in all my years here- ticketed me for parking in a red zone. No signs anywhere and the paint at best was light pink and chipping. $70+. And as we were walking down, they were harassing an innocent looking cyclist. God knows what he got ticketed for. But he did. I know that much. Sure LA is broke but I just think it's wrong to take it out on us. I felt like an ass for Kerry getting ticketed too- but then I thought maybe she was some sort of curse... until
I had lunch with my friend and i was in an hour only zone, non-metered and from the ticket, it looks like they waited for me and not 4 minutes after this non-metered spot expired in time they ticketed my ass for $38. Thanks Pasadena. I thought at this point the devil was just trying to get me down. I mean that's a $100 bucks just kissed to the ether and the grinding beuracracy of an unstable civilization. But i laughed it off, and vowed to fight them both anyway, even if in the end I was found guilty. I mean in truth the law is the law and that's the problem. There's no grace. And I have never been a strict by the rule kind of girl... and it's like payback is a bitch apparently because,
(click to enlarge)
Tonight I just got this-- Not only did I blow through a stopsign in a poorly lit area of a park in the rain and in the dark, he saw that i had a cellphone in my hand even though it was on speaker and decided to cite me for that too. and oh guess what- yah, i forgot my wallet- which my new insurance card was in along with my ID... yes, please i'd like 2 more violations please. OH and can I have a side of permanent point on your record and an extra helping of raised insurance? And the guy was a dick and he was mad and shouting at me. Literally barking orders about rolling the window all the way down in the rain, turning the car off, signing here, incredulous at my lack of license as if i fucking did it on purpose. And what can you do in the face of anger. You just stare idly if you're me, wondering at what point the target was drawn on your back and satan went, go get her boys. Sure it's a weak point. this non-loving part of me in regards to the law. But come on seriously? I mean if you look at the accumulation of events is it just my time to pay up? Or what? I guess it is. It's not like I"m going to change. And I don't know if that's the particular lesson the universe is trying to teach me. Fuck the rules and all the rule followers of the world. Is it a price i'm willing to pay? Cuz you know it's going to be fucking expensive.

And sure just as a matter of principle I'm going to fight each one. Fill up the offices with my papertrails and try to think that if I lose each and everyone the money that could be paying off my debt or buying me a new pair of shoes is supporting the fine city of los angeles. I just got $367 back from the state. Sure they can't afford to pay me, but when i get it, i'll do my duty and give it right back. and some. Since moving violations are pricey.

So fuck you dark forces! God is on my side. And while yes, I could pay more attention to the "rules", these rules are irrelevant to the larger stake in my life. So it's not worth losing sleep over or developing a headache over. that's the point. But I suppose i do want to say enough is enough though right? i mean it's pretty ridiculous. 6 violations in the space of 3wks. it just seems excessive.

a day as any other day.

so i've been a bit lax in blogmatter these days but you know i was hoping for a less annoying event to blog about- i was just short of blogging about 3 of my cats and how they fight for the territorial rights of my room. but you were spared these sorts of musings for a lamer kind- we, all of us, at one time in our life are victims of an inane system and peoples stupidity, ill-judgement or some hapless fate of circumstance. i found myself in such a place today- already late on my trip to newport beach, an hour south of los angeles- the usual preparations: gas, clean windows, check air in tires, breakfast. go.go.go. and annoyed i had not a friend to bring with me. this all found me in the wastelands of the inland empire around 11:30. the environs are bleak and treeless, decked in a mishmash of sporadic buildings and run down brown things. the freeway to emphasize such gasping depletion narrows from 4/5 lanes to 3... there is always traffic in such harrowing spaces and while on the phone with my betterhalf penelope i saw a CHP officer pull into a median and knew i had to get over as the lane i was in was exiting right. the big white dashes soon to be solid white, i signaled and entered the stream of the freeway. the cop had enough time to exit his vehicle and flag me over, so slow moving was traffic. my first instinct was to pretend i didn't see him and even then i gave him a curious look and he motioned again a couple times more so i relented, curiousity unfortunately having gotten the better of me. i said something brilliant to the effect of, "what?" he said, "you failed to obey a sign". i parrotted, "what? what sign?" confused, and being martialed like an idiot to my fate, i gave him my id, proof of insurance, couldn't remember where the registration was and turned to my handsfree and began swearing in confusion to penelope at my idiotic trip off a very expensive cliff. he flagged someone else over in the meantime and then walked past my car where i had enough time to continue a play by play to pen and answer another call and swap back for the CHP to walk back to my car after what had to have been another 5 minutes. he had me sign the ticket and i again said, "are you really giving me a ticket for this? like, really?!" and he said, as if in some remote corner of the earth called la-la land where up was down and right was wrong, "yes. you failed to obey a sign. and be careful entering back into traffic." thefuckyousay! so i drove away possibly saying something to the effect of "for fucksake and god-damn-it , i can't motherfuckingbelievewhatthefuckwasthat, i got a god-damned ticket for what the fuck from that asshole?! LAME!!" so yes... it looked like 2 infractions- no proof of registration, and "right lane must exit." right. LAME. pen bore the brunt of all this bravely and like a true friend. it was good to have her there. i continued rather consternated the rest of my way, befuddled and mystified at my quota-ed ass but could still muster nothing more than a WTF just happened? which made me feel lamer even for all the ill preparedness of my wit. but sometimes being confused is all you have.

i made it to newport and after some mindless circling for parking and some more confused musings i spent 3 more hours still confused about where to go in the world via gap adventures, what was happening in the novel i was reading, why my phone kept dropping calls, why the world wants me to lose faith in god, why the boys playing cricket had to play cricket right in front of me, why the girl excluded the younger sister, why i didn't get my kite to fly it, why i felt slightly dizzy and all of this collapsing under the weight of clouds, sun, ocean and sand.

i trudged up and out and tried a restaurant i'd never been to and ordered something i'd never had before-a greencurry with coconutmilk and then i went and spent $254 (-$100 rebate) on a new phone... got an icecream and was deafened briefly by a mall in search of a bathroom and sadly to return the boots... all pondering the colors and noises and the cars and the road and my unquenchable thirst- i shuffled home.