enclosed photos c/o pen:

well june wasn't as bad as the proceeding months except for when my cat got that mouth infection and seemed like he might die... still it seems touch and go and mostly a shrug the shoulders affair. but there was some mystery. some outings into nature. some danger and darkness... friends made up for it i think. so when i say 'm'eh' its not a reflection on you whatsoever. but m'eh.

this one is my favorite of the month i think. a reflection of spent daisies.

oh kitty, live forever. he's like eh, come on i'm 16 already. STILL i say. still.

this one below i was at the trendy 'coffee table'. my date was a no show so i sat there and read the hunger games. i just set out to photo the sparkly tiles but i'm pleased instead with the luminescent pool before me. i was reminded that its good to adventure into trend everyoncenwhile- but its back to the working class SBux for me in the future.

besides an excessive amount of fraps as a soothing mechanism... i did reach the 'green card' goal... so lo' and behold i get my soy shots for FREE now. its like a new light has dawned. who knew... anyway this describes my feelings on the matter of the month (not my feelings about the greencard which are awesome)  while out and about with callie- i noted my shingles have moved to slightly tender but mostly recovering except for the ugly brown scarring so far.

i thought i'd flip someone off on my way to church. i was feeling misunderstood and unloved by humanity at that moment.  i sent this as a text pic. i thought it was funny... ?

wendy and i before we tasted honey or got attacked by seagulls... a portent, surely.

oh computer! i have no idea what file is corrupt. please stop it.

dear one,

i'm going to write about the redemptive gift eventually. i wanted to write it today but i don't know if i have the headspace. so onward to more babbling stuff. like the awesomeness of bridesmaids. i started laughing at this one part when sookie is on top of the blonde girl and slapping her and asking her about her spark* and saying you're the problem, you're the solution. remember that part- i gawfawed? no one laughed. a teenager was overheard saying, why is that funny? i was like only the depth of more years will explain why that's funny. but maybenot. maybe i need sookie to jump on me and demand if i have some fight in me left after all.. so,

i've done yoga. which at the end there were too many forward bends and i had to stop as i still have intermittent- i dont know- discomfort? but then i picked grapefruit, put dishes away, fed some of the birds. perhaps my energy is truly rebounding? yesterday i even painted the base coat on a series of canvases. of course my engineering fgrade got the better of me as the clamps were ineffective- one crashed to the ground, another onto me. and oil paint is toxic and i can tell my skin starts reacting against it- its called gloves, i know. but i dont have any. not painting ones-- i just need some light fabric gloves maybe? eh. well anyway there it is. surely i warned myself against painting inside but i did it anyway and now the sheets on my chair have blue spots and theres a light blue haze on the floor/chair matt. alas. i dont have a plan b yet.

and marley is doing better. more irrascible but still costly dental work awaits him? maybe? mom has to decide. i would hope if we do it, it'll give him a couple more years he wouldn't have had otherwise. poor kitty. stemming the decay of the curse is expensive and mostly expected. the question is, will it resolve the issue or is it a shot in the dark? or 50/50? either way soft foods and pampering await him for the rest of his life. my pastor when i went to prayer walk with him on thursday wondered in a polite way if we were just going to go ahead and put him to sleep then? if he's that-old? i gave a sigh and thought certainly when my peer here gets to heaven he will not be allowed anywhere near the animals. he's never had cats. i dont even know if they own dogs. it makes me suspicious. there is something non-pet people just dont understand. i mean hello- SIXTEEN years. he's been around 1/2 my life yo. doesnt he deserve our best? anyWAY.

i've got to find some snacks to take with me before the prayer council meeting. perhaps a practice in futility but surely not? just raking the ground, picking up rocks. we don't have to be savetheworld productive. we do we do! you know i want us to be. but upside of coming early maybe i'll get to play xbox. so thats going to motivate me to cut this letter short and go take a shower- i woke up early again- itchy and hot? and uncomfortable. totally unpleasant. and another cloudy june gloom day- boohoo. poor california. lauds is just not my thing. but there must be something to it.

love you.
m.