Monday, July 8, 2013

Dear Penelope,

I've been waiting by the post everyday so I don't know if your letters have been delayed, did you get mine, or if you received my last care package? But it does finally occur to me to write and ask instead of just experiencing the vacuous sucking sound of silence. And make judgments there in which are tied to my rather tenuous mental state. Of which, usually center around me and are never good.

I am curious if Bruckner has been experiencing God lately and if you, besides the book on marriage and the most hilarious email by cath, have any listening prayer thoughts of late, and perhaps you have had some interesting conversations to share? We should do more. Perhaps you could listen on mybehalf? I have been walking the block as mentioned in a prayerful non slavetraffiking way. And still wondering about 2wks till impending financial doom. Maybe I was wrong to be a pelican this entire time, expecting to see a fish and diving. How does one really live that way? Though I am reminded when even Nordstrom Rack didn't want to hire me. So it's not like I haven't tried the non-pelican way.

And of course yesterday was the great ant incident of 2013. Where upon I was attacked by something whilst picking grapefruit. I bent down scrunching up my left eye, gropping for the water faucet handle, wrenching it open and finding the spout- aimed the stream of water to flush whatever IT was out. I felt better. My vision returned. I finished picking grapefruit, slightly worse for wear but then I thought well, the peaches are ready for harvest aren't they- so i begin to pick peaches. Something even bigger hits my right eye- and i can't blink that eye, so if it's shut so is my left. Again my body doubles over, my arms flail out for balance and i find the faucet, wrench it open, grab the spout and flush out my right eye, over and over. Now my hair is wet, my shoes are soaked and my vision blurred. I stumble dripping inside. The fruit is now by the door, i decide no to make up because of the eye trauma- i pin my dress in using safety pins because it's too big and like a haggard doll i make my way to church. I have three separate people pray for me- it seems to effect me not at all. I eat a tommy's burger which has pickles, tomatos, chili and onions on it. You know the one- its right there off Hollywood blvd and Canyon Dr. And i make my way home. I feel my eye twinge as I sit composing an email and i grab the mirror and pull my lower right eye lid down- and there is this dead black thing in my eye still- i wash it out- and look at it- an ant. A few hours later i'm in the bathroom shaking my head over the day and i lean in to look at my left eye- crusted over and in the nose corner is another dead ant which i bring closer with a wipe of my index finger. Now throughly traumatized i retire for the rest of the day.

i mean what are the chances?
m.

7 comments:

almost anonymous said...

She's been busy entertaining :)

m said...

I didnt know youve been with her since end of june. Or do you mean entertaining in the general sense?

pen said...

ummm quIt giving me a hard time

almost anonymous said...

I'm a very demanding guest. She had a lot of preparation for my arrival.

m said...

you are AA. i knew that the minute i met you. it's in part why i love you.

Daniel Bruckner said...

'vacuous sucking sounds of silence' Is this the beginning of the rift!!! If so, what a powerful start. Nothing cuts to the heart like hot-tempered alteration!

What is it? WHat is it? I must know what set things in motion, what were the callous words that provoked such venom!

bruckner said...

And if by experiencing God you mean 'running over a drunk Mexican on a bicycle, helping him up off the pavement, having him look me in the eye and say 'It's all good. God bless,' then watching him hobble away unable to peddle his now mangled bike' then yes, I experienced God once this week.