Saturday, May 25, 2013

Dear Bruckner,

Good morning, in that strange hobbit hall you call home. I don't exactly know what a hobbit hall is, i think i meant hole, but this is just to illustrate how tired we all are. I remember carpet. The bathroom and bedroom being to the right, kitchen back and to the left or something. . . The problem as i see it with me is that the new old stuff is harder to relate as new or bizarre. Except for the religious stuff, because let me tell you, things are ku-razy. OH strangely enough i had a dream i was at a conference that the godless attitude present in todays startrek was in direct opposition to rodenberrys original intent and eastern/jewish principles... is this true? I have no idea. But i dreamed it. I think actually it's not true- they're more humanistic in philosophy- the triumph of the human spirit, it's indomitableness... and that its a constant moving away from the base savagery to greater intellectual heights- but then what do you do with KHAN? Apparently tuck him away and have kirk say something like, revenge is bad. Blah blah blah. Let's be good boys and girls.... anyway, Something about spock not believing in miracles during the actual movie. People in the audience laughed- since they seriously couldn't comprehend the character references- (like jim being corn-fed. mwah!). And i cringed. Thank SCIENCE. Did you ever see that SouthPark episode?

Also a world without God is just exceeding lame. I got into an argument with my cousin because he was trying to come from a position positing the intellectual and animal instincts of humanity as if there were no spiritual capacity in man, which is just an also equally idiotic concept, whatever you believe- that i stopped him, as i always do because we can only argue so far and then i lazer cut a line in the steel beam and say, well, here's me and my belief in God so i'm not going to pretend that your particularly narrow theorizing is a place i can play when God is right there behind me.

And moving my parents literally a few boxes at a time puts me to sleep to relate. I am painting the bathroom cabinets teal forest. I painted the word HOME on the floor of the kitchen just like that in that particular font- as a meditation on home not being here at all, but yes, in the heart, and why? because God is there... and where am I - in His heart. What else... sarah gave me her ipod, albiet a bit reservedly- not to lose it- i will state here for the record the incident i related about  nha trang and losing both my phone and my ipod. But whatever. Sophia is giving me an iphone. Ellie gave me a box of clothes. My dad has given me a dowry in the form of a 50" tv i loathe. And the xbox- so now i can play gears of war 3. Something to celebrate clearly.

Did i tell you the weird marriage threads? Let's relate them:
1. Tess wrote: "i had a dream about u m, like 2 weeks ago...you were selling jewelry that you made in a store and i was looking at it, and it was super expensive and you were look a highly paid artist...and i asked you how you liked your trip, and you blushed..i asked you if you found love, and you said yes but now you had to choose between the two of them!! LOL!! so weird and random!!"

2. The latest copy of BRIDES magazine is delivered to my house sans address label.

3. I make my mother coffee. She says since she dreamed that she had tasted this coffee in the dream that she would relate she was holding a baby and that the baby in her arms was telling her she was having a baby.

4. I dream that a drunk groomsman is ruining my wedding by wanting to talk about the same-sex marriage debate. I say no. My fiances sister would like me to hear the groomsman out. She gets offended when i say, well you might as well have a donkey performing the ceremony. She leaves. My fiance is having issues with his tophat. There are a couple life-sized surprise bags down the aisle and in contemplate putting my veil down.

5. And then at the retreat where more God stuff went down, i drew a picture. I take home the picture and put it on the refrigerator- my mom then says, oh that's a lovely bride and groom. I step back, sure enough there they are- unmistakable and hard not to see once pointed out to you...

6. Dreamt i married this guy after the first date from church.

What else... 

ok i'm out of time... callie and i are hiking. and that durned parrot woke me up thinking it was being a crow that was being murdered. not so... a new pet?? hello. hello.

3 comments:

bruckner said...

How very interesting. Who knew you were so strongly tied to the Star Trek francise? Forget about trying to find God in that latest movie, try finding any evidence of Star Trek in the latest Star Trek movie. Maybe Baz luhrman can direct the third film and complete the bastardization process.

As far as a world without god, gosh, I don't know, I feel like a strong argument could be made either way.

m said...

Yes but now you're just baiting me. to keep talking about God. And our spiritual capacity. I experience it so strongly i wouldn't even stretch to the other side to see what that would be like. It's not that i don't see the obvious reasons people reject God, but it's like turning away from an oasis in the middle of the desert...

bruckner said...

on reflection, I suppose you were being baited. It is a beautiful thing to be able to see the world as you do. and I by no means wish to call into question the authenticity of that. All I can draw upon is my own experience, which is that of an observer, a wanderer, a 'lost soul' perhaps. And from where I sit, we live in a world where 'evil' is far more often rewarded than 'good.' We live in a world where tornados attack elementary schools. We live in a world where a man was once condemned by his own religious institution for beiliving the earth wasn't the center of the universe. How many false truths are still clinging to?