Wednesday, October 12, 2011

m's currants

i'm getting alice's adventures in wonderland sent to me from daily lit.
i love it. do you do this? because i think you must, and love it also. (i wrote this to you around 9am) i never came back. before now. dun dun.

what happened you ask? no nothing like that. nothing, monumental. or yes, exactly like that, it was the ordinary everything that got me. and my obsessive tendencies.

i watered the pots in the backyard. my flipflops getting gradually wet even though at first i pretend i'd rather not, and the sun beating down so that by the end i was hosing the back of my legs and contemplating what it would be like to not have to water so many pots. also my butterfly is still hanging in there. the pin and silk are holding. the colors on his chrysalis look good. i think he might live. my tenuous living thing. speaking of, there is another butterfly limping around. the right wing doesn't quite fold in/out like it should. and ocassionally when i find him i set him on something that he can get nectar from. i hope he makes it. but his life seems more tenuous than the one i saved. and just the other day i saw two wings just laying on the asphalt. and of course i picked them up without a thought, until after when all i imagine now is a bird scissoring through the sky and annihilating the poor life.

it's not quite like getting headbutted by your offspring. which is purely comedic (maybe dark or sardonic depending on the cast and script) but very much like losing 2 jobs in one day. although you know how i'm going to celebrate 3 years of underemployment? i don't know either. but i think it's going to be in korea. that's what i'm thinking. it's going to be epic. otherwise selling gold while cool is vaguely depressing. as my uncle says that i should maybe hang onto a piece or two so that i can barter for food when the economy collapses. i hung onto the tennis bracelet. and the others, it did allowed me to pay for the rest of the passport, mailing cost, and another bill... i asked the guy if he was a coin guy... and he said, he preferred not to be labeled. okay... more on the guy later. oh josh. if you label me you negate me.

after all of that and a jamba juice i couldn't afford, fastforward to today where i leave my obsessive passport photo taking, to find out that i'm a month late to my credit union and they closed my account due to inactivity- after charging me bit by bit the $20 i had in there for not using it. the hell! (yah i knew, no i didn't do a damn thing until i found out citibank was going to charge me $15amonth) anyway, nexxxxt. all i can wonder about now is how to transfer my korean won to my bills in america. you see how my mind is already beginning to click over and i've only had one interview. if this somehow doesn't work out, i will be declaring that thing that michael declared that one episode along while back. and who knows what else. (insanity)

but back to passportphoto'ing: the lighting is a bitch, thank god i had a canvas big enough to be the backdrop, and why can't i get my hair right?! it's so difficile. but let's say that these will be 100% better than the previous 2 i've gotten in my lifetime. despite the haggard appearance i feel i have, all the stray hairs, and i know, i like the 3rd one too, the best, but i'm not quite centered. and so it's the large features of the 1st or the more demure and tossled 2nd look. i ordered both and am picking them up to staple to my passport app. and we must think of all the embossing and shinybusiness and what's going to stand out or fade back. but anyway... this took all day and all night and i finally finished, blah... whatever.




tomorrow is grocery shopping, target (photos), lunch with duff, and staring into space- oh and mustseetv and prorun. hoping also this sinus thing doesn't go the way of the lo.co.

love you pen, and your bruised face.
m.

3 comments:

almost anonymous said...

I vote #2

Good job taking your own. I just did Costco $5 for my last round. I still have to go somewhere to get it stamped though.

Daniel Bruckner said...

Before I read a blog post, I like to scroll down and take measure of the post's length so I know what lies ahead (i.e. should I go to the bathroom before I start reading). In this case, I skimmed down and went to bathroom before embracing your words. While in the bathroom, I was quite preoccupied with worry as I had assumed the photos accompanying this post were mugshots. Turns out you weren't arrested at all. I had no way of knowing that while in the bathroom.

I've never met a butterfly medic before. You simply must look into start a school for butterfly rehabilitation.

Selling gold is not so straight forward as you may realize. This is no stretch of the truth, but this summer I went gold prospecting and the nuggets I brought back with me have been hard to unload at what I feel is fair market value. It might seem frivolous to haggle over a couple of specs inside a slender vial, but these people don't seem to understand the hours and neck sunburn it took for me to collect those minuscule fragments of glittering gold. Gold, gold, gold. The fever courses through my veins. I must get back up there. Gold country beckons for my return. And I beckon for her. Or him. God, I hope gold country is a her.

Visually, I agree, #3 is the most appealing. The only negative to #3 is you seem to be assuming the facial grimace of tragic widow. Did your husband die in a fire? Who knows what pain this woman is keeping to herself.

These ramblings are the result of preceding my blog reading with wine consumption.

mendacious said...

i assumed you had died, but i am glad you are just drinking and usually too busy too comment. i did take your advice and am going to korea as soon as i can. there is no money in butterfly rescue.

it can be construed as a mugshot as it will be with me for the next 10yrs. i chose #2. (#3's tragic looks is the result of allergies and it being the 3rd photo shoot aka long suffering) ...it took so long because i didnt' have the money and yet time was fleeting and delaying my ability to go to korea in the first place, which is why selling gold was the best way to go. if you have any interest in buying pressed seaweed it's for sale in my shop. i do not take gold however but fake electronic money.

the hills call to me too but for different reasons.

bersha is my word verification- and yet, bersha had no hopes of finding a man...