even fictional rafts get destroyed sometimes.

so today is wednesday. how do we feel about wednesdays? wednesdays. wed-nes-day. old norse.

the topic at hand is: that in all aspects this job is interfering with my life- for instance one of my writing friends just had to pull an intervention, concluding that perhaps depression and perhaps something horribly wrong, would keep me from my novel project because she hasn't heard from me in a month... but no. sadly it's just this job. this bless'ed job. but as much as i love it, it confines, you know. it makes diligence a word i need to use in order to... get whatever it is i'm suppose to be doing done. which is usually creative. the other day i was watching a gallery show about an artist and i went to bed thinking I'm going to die if I don't paint. i turned over in the dark and scrawled PAINT bcs my subconscious didn't want it's more forgetful brother, conscious, to forget. so the next day I embarked on some art projects: put stuff on matts, cleared off the walls of old paintings that are done, reorganized my portfolios and started work on a canvas. so now i'm prepared to paint.

now why can't i do that when it comes to writing. i should be able to read virgina woolf and say, I'm going to die if i don't write. although admittedly the nagging of non-accomplishment, as in being novel-less is like a plague and it probably will lead to death one day, probably like a long term quiet illness. if one can be quiet when one is dying and i think one can. where as dying of not playing with paint is a more turbulent death and can be more immediately satisfied to avert said death unless your an alcoholic maybe or a manic depressive and even then. so i suppose one must be aware of the symptoms. certainly blogging for little or no amount of time is an indication of one's mind being elsewhere or being infected with mold or termites... perhaps water-logged and currently being washed ashore on reality television.


((stay tuned for what else is being interfered with bcs of day to day employment))