Thursday, March 14, 2013

Whittled Away,

old-same,

the town is growing on me with its chill mountain (albeit way too dusty) vibe. it's perpetual croaking roosters- which lets be honest is all of laos. they make me laugh. there is still a weird town divide, as I know all small towns must- the normal working class folk on one side, where the new bank is and the fruitsellers, and the otherside of the river where all the tourists are, and the peasants- which is really what the tourists want anyway- the people with the thatched bamboo walled houses living by the side of the road, going about their lives, coming to and fro from the fields- farmers, sure. Yes.

Today I ate too much, and too much because all I did was sleep and eat. Either I was exhausted or depressed I can't say. I had the feeling after my 10 hour sleep and my nap in a hammock- unheard of! that if I were to die soon I wouldn't want to die here- I'd want to die in the hinterlands I thought. Not in this dusty, slashandburn (march is thee season apparently) in between place- but in glory somewhere, but then upon further thought there's never a good time is there- no one wants to leave mid-sentence as I told LL. I just and maybe this is the thing feel a little cagey- like danger is sort of hovering by me. Or that being so close to the end of things, I really just want to be home- like I won't make it across the finish line or something? Or if I mess up I won't complete the game- its a tightrope walk feeling, or a thesis almost completed but hasn't been saved. Carrying all this work and expectation with me.

How are you dear friend? It's taken ages to write this much as some sort of concert is issuing a distracting amount of noise. I haven't even gone on and on about the snake Laung Prabang. Well tomorrow then.

For now, all my love, and forever,
xo,
m.
 

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