think.bad.good.no.

my head hurts. today has been consumed by the horrible dreaded function of my brain called thought. i feel i have been in an apologetics course, a political course on leadership and have been having to give oral disertations in each one at various points throughout the day. never mind that we had to switch from voom to the inferior dishnetwork or that my most successful moments of the day involved the 40 minutes before i sat down with my email and my bible. i've never believed in community- or at the very least have been cynical about it for a very long time. and it goes to reason that the one time i give myself over to the importance of it i'm totally tested.

let's face it, i'm being melodramatic. we all have a community. even if it's inside our head or our relationship with an episodic on Tv. we all want and need things and that involves interacting with the world. and with, god forbid, people. the thought is horrifying how much people suck sometimes. and how much they're wrong. ha. yes. i am always right. and i'm avoiding discussing the importance of community and the cirumstances involving the spawned "thought", this was all an obvious ploy...but let's not stray from the issue. which is my head. my thought. and what i can do to escape it. i'm going to walk away from the computer and put things in boxes- there was a futile 3 box search for jelly bracelets i might have already thrown away. and the attic crawl space is waiting for them. maybe after i'll fix my broken easal or wander in the garden. and exercise. ah exercise. my neck is so tense. the idea of sleep is beguiling. this all goes back to my list- thought was not on my list. and it's taken a huge precedent far more than "the california taxpayer's bill of rights" or my various projects that need to be scratched off my list in order to feel what would be the opposite of wastrel. i had 2 other things to tell you about- one was about crows that were eating the livers of toads and the coal fires. i'm going to tie this all together with wheels. wait and see! but for now the mail is here- which could mean the cliched million dollar check- you have to look. you know you need to. and that means that's all i can say for now. not another word. not another thought until tomorrow.