oh my god i think i'm depressed.

although the thought of the 80's prom is pretty, well- frickin fantastic. maybe it's the idea of watching an hour of cops or the love trouble that luke and loreli are having somewhere around season 2. that would make anyone spiral after realizing they don't have anyone to have trouble with. or maybe it's my blood sugar level or the phase of the moon or the temperature of the air. or novel vs. play. or the fact that, really, hollywood never started with any other pretention than what it is today. there is money at stake. there is always money at stake. is art a happy accident.is there hope for form 5. does soy icecream exist for a reason. will i ever learn french. own a car of my own. make money. get out of debt. exercise. give up fast food. cry at the drop of the hat. own an urban garden. die of a mysterious disease. be banished to an island. live off coconuts. travel the world. be kidnapped for ransom. find the jelly bracelets. contemplate the wonder of jelly shoes. lose my sense of smell. become allergic to oil paint. wear tissue boxes on my feet. the ones that are aloe scented. play the lottery. disappear. join witness protection. get lost, very lost in an illusary world. believe the raft real. believe the blue devils at my back. stack soup cans outside my door. understand the world to be calling. refuse to answer.