I was able to watch ProRun online like you said - and today found the right app, so score for next week. Since my computer finds tasks like streaming apparently insurmountable, and it's all choppy and mind-boggling as it plays and I have to read the Ginormous Book of Preschool Parameters and take notes while watching to curb my hostility toward technological deficiency. Anyway, HOW DID THE VAG-DROP GUY NOT GO HOME? And not even in the bottom two! That outfit was beyond heinous, with or without the unfortunate shortness. Also, even though I suppose the cut girl needed pants, I'm overly partial to hoodies and so that look was one of my favorites.
Zac Posen jumped several notches in my book with the sex-toy-for-a-cat comment. #channelingMichaelKors
I love the idea of the three of us starting a new job/chapter in September! Each of us in our own separate worlds but journeying together. I feel like a job at an art school would suit you perfectly. Or maybe overseas again? Speaking of Korea I ran across this article about fake funerals being popular lately in SK and I meant to click but then didn't.
The days are filled with a thousand distractions over which I'm only occasionally bitter. I mean I do get a little resentful when there doesn't seem to be time to even get in a few exercises while watching something mindless on Netflix or to read my mindless book about girls sentenced to picking peaches for a summer. Rather than being summoned over several hours to help a child excavate her room. And breaking it down to specific, singular directed tasks and still having to repeat those 12 times. My hair is still attached to my head at the end of the day, so. Success?
Oh and then the other day. K.Lo's ears got a little infected post-6 weeks, with all the changing into new pairs and whatnot. And we were traveling and I kind of knew there would eventually be a scene. So we did triple antibiotic and let them rest and I crossed my fingers and said a little prayer the things would heal up fast and all would be fine. But no. Recreating the holes had to occur. There haven't been many times or maybe any in which I've felt like a murderer, but re-piercing the ears of that tiny poetic soul was one. And I flashed back to my own forced re-piercing and the word KARMA wouldn't leave my brain.
I mean.
Holyshitpassthebourbon.
I'm wicked behind on the book discussion, won't look at the notes for 4 until I'm done reading, but I feel like I'll catch up all in a day, 5 included, before Cath goes to sodak, and all will be equalized. One thing I keep returning to that you said at the end of a long thought, about love almost being a lack of control - FASCINATING. I had unrelatedly been pondering lately the idea of all anger being rooted in control and ooo let's connect those dots if we can.
Whatelse. Besides that some details of last week's excursion aren't bloggable so I'll have to e you. Are you watching Orange is the New Black on Netflix? Because that's way brilliant. J.Lo's on a 13-day heavy steroid treatment for the pinched sciatic nerve and we're hoping that will... do something. Anything? That would be great. Because it's been about a month at Pain Level: Excruciating. The fish tank needs new inhabitants again - it's a little depressing in there admittedly, but I mostly don't think about it. (Sad?) I'm going blueberry picking on Tuesday! And then canning a batch of Mom's tomatoes. Every year I say it will be my tomatoes that I'll can but so far that hasn't happened yet. Garden Soil Year 3. Should we put our money on it? Although to be fair we are all battling Tomato Blight this year, which is formidable and unconquerable and a bummer.
On to devising a topic for my next magazine deadline, or somesuch.
love,
penelope.
Showing posts with label jobs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jobs. Show all posts
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Friday, July 19, 2013
old-same,
By chance i came across the premiere of project runway. As the only things i seem to come across now adays is say yes to the dress and antiques roadshow. I find by and large nothing else appealing. And i did like the concept of parachutes as an unconventional design but most designers hardly did a thing with them, along with the occassional nutter and disaster piece. IN my mind it was suppose to premiere in August.
But then for the first time in years (possibly ever) I missed my car registration payment having thought for some reason it was on the 14th. No the 8th. Also I've given charge of Lolly to mom as I can't afford her or the July $1037 pricetag I owed for all the bells and whistles combined. And apparently I had to get her smogged? Whatever that is about. Conspiracy abounds. As if paying $28-$60 for something the government is making you do... Nevermind. I ultimately didn't pay for it anyway. I mean thank the Lord Jesus I have a mom who is my mom and no other kind of mom. I would still however like to be able to afford to exist in LA. But apparently not enough to hustle. You know what i mean. I'm not totally adverse to going to back to Korea. I guess? Maybe ironically when I finish moving the parents. I'm hoping God will work some miracles in the meantime.
Yesterday I fought through some seriously searing daggers whipping through my mind in the a.m. to rally and actually write a cover letter and application and submit it. I even went so far as to call the HR department prior to it. I do not jest when I say even opening up a job site makes me passively suicidal. And other people who do not struggle with how dark the dark can get or are constantly employed don't really get it i dont think. Like, I wish i was being melodramatic. Anyway it's for a prop supervisor who has to hire a staff of 20 student volunteers? And only gets paid $14 p/hr. Such is the sign of the times. But i like objects and it would be for an art school.
Any "productive" thing I did on top of that was just aces. And any less productive thing inconsequential.
You and cath are starting jobs in September. It would be nice to do the same I feel. In a show of solidarity.... and as i drink my 2nd cup of coffee there was something about bruckner hearing from God i thought. Some near death experience? But back to coffee- i have to use 4 scoops to make this trader joe batch i got worth anything close to something i can taste. And in such an ironic LA turn the best coffee there is - it's free and it's at my church. Not the best of the best. But at least the 2nd. It tastes like butterscotch. It's written up to be one of the best and because of the work of this guy named Bob is why we have it at our church in the first place... if it's not the sermons or the people by Gods good grace it will be the coffee that got me to go to church. What a change! If my 8 year old self could see me now!
Meanwhile Marley my cat- who in people years is at least 118 and 19 in cat years, keeps yowling in senility and sometimes laziness and sometimes hunger which drives me a little nuts and is annoying until i remind myself he might not remember where he is and that's distressing with his bad hips and his general oldalpha surlyness. It's funny to see in contrast Twist and her mewing- who is trying to see what her different calls yield- if i mew here will she open the door? open the window? give me a treat? pet me? It's pretty adorable. Ah the life of human to cat relations.
Otherwise i'm pleased that my nails are almost returned to their nonwrecked state. Hope for the future and all that- alright i'm going to go play some teamdeathmatchesonxbox and later my ch4response on the meaning of marriage. Que: sigh heavily at this singlesadstate.
m.
KEEP CALM & CARRY ON
(poster from the govt. as seen on antiques roadshow-uk edition worth 900pounds)
But then for the first time in years (possibly ever) I missed my car registration payment having thought for some reason it was on the 14th. No the 8th. Also I've given charge of Lolly to mom as I can't afford her or the July $1037 pricetag I owed for all the bells and whistles combined. And apparently I had to get her smogged? Whatever that is about. Conspiracy abounds. As if paying $28-$60 for something the government is making you do... Nevermind. I ultimately didn't pay for it anyway. I mean thank the Lord Jesus I have a mom who is my mom and no other kind of mom. I would still however like to be able to afford to exist in LA. But apparently not enough to hustle. You know what i mean. I'm not totally adverse to going to back to Korea. I guess? Maybe ironically when I finish moving the parents. I'm hoping God will work some miracles in the meantime.
Yesterday I fought through some seriously searing daggers whipping through my mind in the a.m. to rally and actually write a cover letter and application and submit it. I even went so far as to call the HR department prior to it. I do not jest when I say even opening up a job site makes me passively suicidal. And other people who do not struggle with how dark the dark can get or are constantly employed don't really get it i dont think. Like, I wish i was being melodramatic. Anyway it's for a prop supervisor who has to hire a staff of 20 student volunteers? And only gets paid $14 p/hr. Such is the sign of the times. But i like objects and it would be for an art school.
Any "productive" thing I did on top of that was just aces. And any less productive thing inconsequential.
You and cath are starting jobs in September. It would be nice to do the same I feel. In a show of solidarity.... and as i drink my 2nd cup of coffee there was something about bruckner hearing from God i thought. Some near death experience? But back to coffee- i have to use 4 scoops to make this trader joe batch i got worth anything close to something i can taste. And in such an ironic LA turn the best coffee there is - it's free and it's at my church. Not the best of the best. But at least the 2nd. It tastes like butterscotch. It's written up to be one of the best and because of the work of this guy named Bob is why we have it at our church in the first place... if it's not the sermons or the people by Gods good grace it will be the coffee that got me to go to church. What a change! If my 8 year old self could see me now!
Meanwhile Marley my cat- who in people years is at least 118 and 19 in cat years, keeps yowling in senility and sometimes laziness and sometimes hunger which drives me a little nuts and is annoying until i remind myself he might not remember where he is and that's distressing with his bad hips and his general oldalpha surlyness. It's funny to see in contrast Twist and her mewing- who is trying to see what her different calls yield- if i mew here will she open the door? open the window? give me a treat? pet me? It's pretty adorable. Ah the life of human to cat relations.
Otherwise i'm pleased that my nails are almost returned to their nonwrecked state. Hope for the future and all that- alright i'm going to go play some teamdeathmatchesonxbox and later my ch4response on the meaning of marriage. Que: sigh heavily at this singlesadstate.
m.
KEEP CALM & CARRY ON
(poster from the govt. as seen on antiques roadshow-uk edition worth 900pounds)
Friday, July 12, 2013
lao-tang,
The puppy sleeps next to me; the pool is being refilled. It's relatively cooler today than usual from storms. Which I love, because the heat can suck it. Yesterday I spent the day cleaning out a craft supply room for church and discussing my new THREE'S classroom, which is going to be completely overhauled before I start in Sept. Which is a good thing: currently, think dingy white paint, old awful yellow trim, out-of-date circus curtains. Lots of clutter. It will be: no curtains, all white trim, wall color TBD. And organized however we say, at least in accordance to the Big Honking Manual I also took home yesterday. Which is simultaneously completely overwhelming to the point of maniacal laughter - all these nitpicky regulations to establish "quality!" Geez. But also kind of helpful to someone such as myself starting completely from scratch. It's a giant Book O' Parameters, with which I can totally deal. And welcome in a lot of ways, because a direction is good, very very good. And later when I've gotten a handle on it all, I'll totally mock its nitpickiness as begged.
I don't know if you're still mad at me, or wounded, or _____. I will say that intent is completely important to me and shouldn't be disregarded. Certainly you must express your hurt feelings and so you have. I take listening prayer and your practice of it seriously enough that I wouldn't pretend to love it or connect with it just to spare your feelings. I appreciate the freedom to not love something and express that, too. My apologies if that manner of expression was hurtful, although it was more a self-mockery or commentary on my own lack of connection. But maybe too flip. I will also put out there as an intending-to-be objective observation that with ministry, perhaps it's important to meet a person on their level, considering personal style, personality type, etc. There is the element of challenging a person to stretch themselves, too. But then, how fine a line is that, particularly when the person is already stretched to the point of snapping anyminutenow. I know you're looking at a different side of the elephant and seeing your own version of truth while I see mine. Maybe yours is more about sharing and opening up when mine is that it's shutting me down. I suppose we either inch toward each other's truths to at least see what the other sees, or we move on to a different creature.
Like books. Did I dust you? When I posted notes for chapter 3, it wasn't to leave anyone out; I sort of just did it to do it and figured there'd be email catchup whenever each person had finished the chapter. Kind of like when we watch ProRun and say okay - read this email full of my commentary after you've watched, too.
Anyway I'm glad it's a Friday with nowhere to be. Tomorrow, earring shopping with K.Lo, who is at her milestone 6 weeks. And an oil change, yawn. Monday, some travel. Which I suppose means Sunday, some packing. Oof. But onto the most pressing item du jour, which is cleaning up the disaster pit down the hall, also known as K.Lo's room.
xoxox
I don't know if you're still mad at me, or wounded, or _____. I will say that intent is completely important to me and shouldn't be disregarded. Certainly you must express your hurt feelings and so you have. I take listening prayer and your practice of it seriously enough that I wouldn't pretend to love it or connect with it just to spare your feelings. I appreciate the freedom to not love something and express that, too. My apologies if that manner of expression was hurtful, although it was more a self-mockery or commentary on my own lack of connection. But maybe too flip. I will also put out there as an intending-to-be objective observation that with ministry, perhaps it's important to meet a person on their level, considering personal style, personality type, etc. There is the element of challenging a person to stretch themselves, too. But then, how fine a line is that, particularly when the person is already stretched to the point of snapping anyminutenow. I know you're looking at a different side of the elephant and seeing your own version of truth while I see mine. Maybe yours is more about sharing and opening up when mine is that it's shutting me down. I suppose we either inch toward each other's truths to at least see what the other sees, or we move on to a different creature.
Like books. Did I dust you? When I posted notes for chapter 3, it wasn't to leave anyone out; I sort of just did it to do it and figured there'd be email catchup whenever each person had finished the chapter. Kind of like when we watch ProRun and say okay - read this email full of my commentary after you've watched, too.
Anyway I'm glad it's a Friday with nowhere to be. Tomorrow, earring shopping with K.Lo, who is at her milestone 6 weeks. And an oil change, yawn. Monday, some travel. Which I suppose means Sunday, some packing. Oof. But onto the most pressing item du jour, which is cleaning up the disaster pit down the hall, also known as K.Lo's room.
xoxox
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
odd-ends
So it's spring break week for the children. Nothing like spring break to make you want a break? Holy shiz. I mean I'm hormonal, so life perspective is inherently skewed. But ho.ly.shiz.
Rather than one long blog-story, my recent life exists on bits of scrap paper ~
We tilled the garden-earth. Add moss and manure and it's already looking better than Year 1. Planted lettuce and peas and soon eggplant and tomatoes, courtesy of mom. Go garden go! That's my favorite day of the whole year possibly, fraught with sunshine and hope and possibility.
Directly before said gardening, the following occurred in the span of maybe 30 minutes: a tick crawled up my leg. a wasp dive-bombed my head. a black widow spider lurked in the soil. An omen of anything? Maybe the actual tick bite discovered later, which STILL ITCHES and I assume will continue to do so for three months, like they do.
No job for now. Maybe August. I mean it makes sense and I get it, but still feel whiny and tragic about the cold hard facts. Freelance filler in the meantime is just so unreliable. Friggin' ugh it stresses me out.
The Sophie has tripled in size during her 7 weeks here, weighing in at 21 pounds. Vet visit number three we took in our usual stride. Next month: last shots and spaying. At a reduced cost we hope.
Rather than one long blog-story, my recent life exists on bits of scrap paper ~
We tilled the garden-earth. Add moss and manure and it's already looking better than Year 1. Planted lettuce and peas and soon eggplant and tomatoes, courtesy of mom. Go garden go! That's my favorite day of the whole year possibly, fraught with sunshine and hope and possibility.
Directly before said gardening, the following occurred in the span of maybe 30 minutes: a tick crawled up my leg. a wasp dive-bombed my head. a black widow spider lurked in the soil. An omen of anything? Maybe the actual tick bite discovered later, which STILL ITCHES and I assume will continue to do so for three months, like they do.
No job for now. Maybe August. I mean it makes sense and I get it, but still feel whiny and tragic about the cold hard facts. Freelance filler in the meantime is just so unreliable. Friggin' ugh it stresses me out.
The Sophie has tripled in size during her 7 weeks here, weighing in at 21 pounds. Vet visit number three we took in our usual stride. Next month: last shots and spaying. At a reduced cost we hope.
Starship Lo.Co. allows us to do magical things like tote large objects places and so we finally got rid of that crappy front door sitting in our garage for a year and the stupid lawnmower that ran over a culvert last year. I don't know what that thing was thinking when it went all suicide bomber - had nothing whatsoever to do with its driver, I mean it. So anyway, we left this sign taped to its handlebars in case someone wanted to adopt it. And because we just could not help ourselves.
On ep 2 of Jericho; it's scratching the Netflixitch for the moment.
My hag-neighbor's husband has gone to the hospital/nursing home again. Which is a good thing as far as caretaking goes, in that she won't have to live that exhausting existence anymore and he'll have the care he needs. But also it means she's more available to suck one into a conversation, and I hate talking to her. Because as regularly mentioned and oft-noted, she is a hag. So I'm totally happy for her! but she still sucks.
We're on a SuperMario kick here, in which mommy conquers new worlds and N.Lo thinks I'm wicked awesome. And he has that video game brain that daydreams and devises new plans. But hell if I can't conquer the volcanic hellfire that is World 8! I secretly want to play without an audience sometimes just to make some strides.
I love church as usual but am currently maxed with it - in accordance with hormonalness - blah. Stupid leadership and bible study - don't. wanna - any of it. But I don't know. Potluck et al tonight could be a welcome distraction from springbreaking? If the brownie fairy would come and make some for me or whatever.
Onward to another day with library, futile-freelance, puppy-play and not-killing the children!
xoxox
pen
Monday, March 25, 2013
God doesn't want me to work at Home Depot
That's my conclusion for today, as you fly the friendly and I would hope not hostile skies. Or at least I assume you're on a jet plane, headed - HOME! Eee. Excited for you. But back to me, obviously. So there was some random Weather happening yesterday, freezing rain and sleet and snow, all the things that allegedly never deter postal workers, but schools - forget it. K.Lo is on a 2-hour delay OF COURSE because I had an interview at 8:30AM. Someday I'm going to look back on these mishaps and shake my head and sigh. Rueful laugh. Oh wait, it's already happening. I think I'd feel more put out if I could stomach the idea of being a greeter. Here, pretend to be a mega-extrovert for several hours! It will be great. And you don't even get a discount on your garden supplies. As it is, I cannot even get through to say I can't be there. Awful. I'm either re-routed, because no one wants to take that message, or sent to HR, where the call is dropped before VM can pick up. Every. Time.
So you know, I hope the other one works out. Have interview tomorrow afternoon at a consignment shop that said they weren't hiring until, apparently, they saw my awesome application? Right right. Anyway, I'm sure they pay much less, but do offer discounts, first dibs, and most importantly, scheduling around the fact of being a mother. Which frankly is priceless.
And yeah, the Pam Beasley Question. That's totally it. It's enough, absolutely. I'm enough even without that. Duh, right? But then I get in my head that should I be required to work (and I need to) to avoid that razor's edge, then it has to be fraught with meaning or otherwise completely worthy of my time, and me of it. And then I swirl down into the conventional spiral of college education and The Promise aka Great Lie of "you can be whatever you dream!" as long as you get one and oh wait that's clearly not true. And then I plunge into darker channels about bringing children into this world and what was I thinking - oh wait - Love. And despite my combined Wrong Education and lack of Right Experience, I can and should still change the world. But roadblock, roadblock. Red tape and more tape. It's depressing even scratching the surface, which of course I never do. I delve. And I struggle to get back to that hopeful waiting thing, but whine, it's hard. So many available options to talk yourself out of it, convince yourself that you somehow don't have value in the world - but again, that's the wrong question.
Stupid human condition.
I fell asleep during the latest ProRun last night - how could one not, really. I have to go back and finish it before discussing what on earth - how - the winning team was the winning team. I mean, Michelle's was perfection, but Daniel's? Am I missing how that dress wasn't a life-size Barbie dress from the 80s? Like the kind literally for a child's doll, not someone trying to dress ironically. Those were shoulder pads, I'm sure of it. And that color! Blech. Collectively I thought the other team of two should have won - for once, I really liked P's in particular.
And are you watching the Amazing Race?? We're not quite caught up, but last week's - Hanoi! and pho! a pho challenge! What! And our missing ingredient was apparently coriander. Now all I need are some live chickens squawking in a shoulder basket...
All right well. I've officially missed my ridiculous interview. Best get on with the day.
love to YOU
your penelaotang
p.s. I FINALLY watched the lice ep of SouthPark. My baby, Hope! genius.
So you know, I hope the other one works out. Have interview tomorrow afternoon at a consignment shop that said they weren't hiring until, apparently, they saw my awesome application? Right right. Anyway, I'm sure they pay much less, but do offer discounts, first dibs, and most importantly, scheduling around the fact of being a mother. Which frankly is priceless.
And yeah, the Pam Beasley Question. That's totally it. It's enough, absolutely. I'm enough even without that. Duh, right? But then I get in my head that should I be required to work (and I need to) to avoid that razor's edge, then it has to be fraught with meaning or otherwise completely worthy of my time, and me of it. And then I swirl down into the conventional spiral of college education and The Promise aka Great Lie of "you can be whatever you dream!" as long as you get one and oh wait that's clearly not true. And then I plunge into darker channels about bringing children into this world and what was I thinking - oh wait - Love. And despite my combined Wrong Education and lack of Right Experience, I can and should still change the world. But roadblock, roadblock. Red tape and more tape. It's depressing even scratching the surface, which of course I never do. I delve. And I struggle to get back to that hopeful waiting thing, but whine, it's hard. So many available options to talk yourself out of it, convince yourself that you somehow don't have value in the world - but again, that's the wrong question.
Stupid human condition.
I fell asleep during the latest ProRun last night - how could one not, really. I have to go back and finish it before discussing what on earth - how - the winning team was the winning team. I mean, Michelle's was perfection, but Daniel's? Am I missing how that dress wasn't a life-size Barbie dress from the 80s? Like the kind literally for a child's doll, not someone trying to dress ironically. Those were shoulder pads, I'm sure of it. And that color! Blech. Collectively I thought the other team of two should have won - for once, I really liked P's in particular.
And are you watching the Amazing Race?? We're not quite caught up, but last week's - Hanoi! and pho! a pho challenge! What! And our missing ingredient was apparently coriander. Now all I need are some live chickens squawking in a shoulder basket...
All right well. I've officially missed my ridiculous interview. Best get on with the day.
love to YOU
your penelaotang
p.s. I FINALLY watched the lice ep of SouthPark. My baby, Hope! genius.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
ooo-dumb-sigh
So I feel like all of Laos is a jungly garage sale with a lot of waterfalls? This might be my conclusion. Like a garage sale it contains some charm in the form of puppies and flowers and also the mundane - these are the trappings of our life. Buy it or not. But then there's the subplot of People Who Haggle Over a Fucking Nickel. Which are fascinating in their own way. I don't know how to explain all the waterfalls - there are just so many that have been alluded to! I feel like we could totally outline a Laotian drinking game based on waterfall references - and drink a shot! And then you'd have a solid excuse for slip-falling! oh geez. I'm sorry, my caffeinated, NOT-MORNING-PERSON (what was that proclamation, really. a lie. or a gross misrepresentation at least) brain is going off on a weird tangent.
I told the ponies to deliver my last letter to you, but also to write it before delivering, and damn ponies. Complaints about lacking opposable thumbs and a grasp of the English language. Whatever. Unfortunately this post has to be brief because somehow, randomly and suddenly I have a substitute teaching assistant thing this morning? at the preschool at our church, to which I had expressed interest in applying to for the fall. And despite the scheduling complications with N.Lo pickup and the last-minuteness and a case of the nerves, I'm going for it because it could be a good foot in the door? Or a warning to slam it closed and run. I should at least find out either way, right? It will give me something to recap later today. And then I should probably talk some more about my birthday (notes to self) and ProRun designer travesties and whatever else -
Oh! My main reason for sad bloglack this past week or so (although I've loved hearing all your adventures as you countdown to Home) is that most of my energy is spent mind-spiraling and chewing my nails over Jobs and Life and my apparent failure at both. Never do I feel like a bigger loser when it comes to employ, whether it by my $2/hr attempts at freelancing (because that's what it works out to, always) or my weak resume or lack of wise ambition in my 20s to do something that actually amounts to anything. And now it's too late? Or is it. (I need to read Julia Child's bio - another note to self. since she started her journey to awesomeness in her 30s.) And then add to that jumping back into the world of gainful employment after a 7-year absence and it all just seems futile and completely lacking in luster or hope. Particularly when I'm not asking for much. I'm applying, for instance, to be a SpEd TA - a temporary, they emphasize, minimum wage position (but it's at K's school, so schedule would be perfect?) and I need somehow to get a college transcript. And 3 people to fill out reference forms, even though - seriously? - this is all even before an interview. Icing on the cake was emailing undergrad and being informed - you graduated so long ago that you're unable to just print it out online. Like my fucking degree exists in some dusty cave of an archive or something, and only Argus Filch has the key. And we all know how temperamental Argus Filch can be.
Anyway - I gotta go for now. Love! You! enjoy your day or your night and remember to hold out for a cuter accent and less insobriety.
xoxox
P.S. HD does NOT give employee discounts. We're already off to a bad start.
Friday, March 8, 2013
dear old-same,
Look at you with your motorbike riding self! Now if you're ever on Amazing Race, you know you can handle any challenge involving a clutch. Whereas I'd still be screwed on that (and bungee jumping and spelunking). I loved your story! And I feel like over time and with practice you'd absorb what you'd need to absorb, no longer overthink and it'd become part of you.
And the sheeple. I mean. Yes, to all of your thoughts. And I do think you captured the wild ride, I mean beyond the bike-ride, the sense of place - the clipped rooster, the van driver with questionable yet common humor, the roads just running on through.
I'm on the same page with wah - life is hard sometimes. The child sickday, the snowday, the rescheduled a thousand times interview, and then they never called back after the snowday, and I'm just over it? I mean open to the interview if it ever happens, but also sort of deflated and trying to remain hopeful rather than dispirited. Although there's nothing that's looked remotely appealing over the past week, as far as applying for more things.
And then in freelance land, the aforementioned completely messed with my schedule and I've still failed to complete my article. Suck. Post-camping, it will get done, but I'm no less antsy about it. And then I tend to get meta-antsy on top of that, pondering the epic investment of time that freelancing involves and the payoff that's probably not worth it, but maybe? The spark of hope flickers on. I don't know. I shouldn't think so much or look down at the road lest I veer off and well - you know.
That car commercial J.Lo posted on FB? Let's talk about that for a second. I mean never have I wept so copiously over a commercial. But it's like Bailey's story! The little puppy and then grown dog, her faithful presence as the guy's life progresses from single-life to relationship to family. And by the end her muzzle is gray and FOR THE LOVE OF - . I can barely handle it.
Oh, so there are butterflies! Four of them. And I didn't see any of them emerge from their cocoons, they all just appeared at intervals and I scratched my head over it, but then it's not like they cause a great noisy commotion, being lighter than air. And ew with the spots of red all over their house that I don't like to think about. But today I added some flowers, which they really, really like, as opposed to the sugar-soaked wadded-up kleenex you can use instead. Imagine. And we're going to take them camping and release them there.
I have anxiety about camping - it's like going for the first time again, with the cabin. Because in theory you know what they have there and what you don't have to pack, but in reality you're still going to forget something that's probably important. And how will the puppy do. Will she nip heels and pee all over the place? I mean more so than usual. And those damn pizzas bought for tonight were so big they don't fit in my fridge. Unwieldy! Overall it seems like I'm bringing way too much food, but obviously I'll bring home leftovers. It's just those pizzas sending me over the edge.
So I'm up (camping, yay!), I'm down (life anxiety, boo), I'm all over town. But floating on okay...
love to you and may you happen on more magical characters in your unfolding tale,
pen
And the sheeple. I mean. Yes, to all of your thoughts. And I do think you captured the wild ride, I mean beyond the bike-ride, the sense of place - the clipped rooster, the van driver with questionable yet common humor, the roads just running on through.
I'm on the same page with wah - life is hard sometimes. The child sickday, the snowday, the rescheduled a thousand times interview, and then they never called back after the snowday, and I'm just over it? I mean open to the interview if it ever happens, but also sort of deflated and trying to remain hopeful rather than dispirited. Although there's nothing that's looked remotely appealing over the past week, as far as applying for more things.
And then in freelance land, the aforementioned completely messed with my schedule and I've still failed to complete my article. Suck. Post-camping, it will get done, but I'm no less antsy about it. And then I tend to get meta-antsy on top of that, pondering the epic investment of time that freelancing involves and the payoff that's probably not worth it, but maybe? The spark of hope flickers on. I don't know. I shouldn't think so much or look down at the road lest I veer off and well - you know.
That car commercial J.Lo posted on FB? Let's talk about that for a second. I mean never have I wept so copiously over a commercial. But it's like Bailey's story! The little puppy and then grown dog, her faithful presence as the guy's life progresses from single-life to relationship to family. And by the end her muzzle is gray and FOR THE LOVE OF - . I can barely handle it.
Oh, so there are butterflies! Four of them. And I didn't see any of them emerge from their cocoons, they all just appeared at intervals and I scratched my head over it, but then it's not like they cause a great noisy commotion, being lighter than air. And ew with the spots of red all over their house that I don't like to think about. But today I added some flowers, which they really, really like, as opposed to the sugar-soaked wadded-up kleenex you can use instead. Imagine. And we're going to take them camping and release them there.
I have anxiety about camping - it's like going for the first time again, with the cabin. Because in theory you know what they have there and what you don't have to pack, but in reality you're still going to forget something that's probably important. And how will the puppy do. Will she nip heels and pee all over the place? I mean more so than usual. And those damn pizzas bought for tonight were so big they don't fit in my fridge. Unwieldy! Overall it seems like I'm bringing way too much food, but obviously I'll bring home leftovers. It's just those pizzas sending me over the edge.
So I'm up (camping, yay!), I'm down (life anxiety, boo), I'm all over town. But floating on okay...
love to you and may you happen on more magical characters in your unfolding tale,
pen
Sunday, March 3, 2013
ho hey, ho hum
Good morning or evening, as the case may be,
At the moment I'm extremely restless, but this hasn't been the norm. No, it's more - wake up, J.Lo, so we can make some biscuits! and the puppy can quit clamoring for your presence already. And the coffee hasn't cooled enough to sip, and I'm too scared to open the biscuit can. And dagnabbit, the puppy keeps chewing on your shoes and my pillowcases. Oh my.
But anyway. Let's talk about madskillz in the Goodwill shopping dept. Ooo, I would so love to go to one or three of your Goodwills in LA. Because if I'm finding decent stuff here (The Loft! Old Navy! Express! J.Crew!) I can only imagine what I'd find there. So far I've added to my wardrobe for outrageously minimal expense: dress shoes, dress pants, a skirt, multiple shirts - some dressy but mostly casual, a sweater, a cardigan, a pair of cords and a pair of jeans. Some of it mildly flawed, of course (like how am I going to get the sharpie-d on price of $4.99 off the bottom of that one pair of shoes?), but some of it remarkably unworn looking. A month ago before I understood the sale system, I had tried on a bunch and wanted to walk out with it all, but then the sale items were explained, and I sighed and put most of it back. But then! I realized most of this stuff probably wasn't going anywhere, so each week I come back and pilfer the things that are currently $1. It's like a game, I admit, and I'm most amused by my take-home clothes-lotto winnings. And then - because I've done a barely adequate job of maintaining a proper wardrobe over approximately the last 10 years, I trade out - with the old. In with the new. All my shit goes back to Goodwill to possibly make someone else happy.
Whatelse. My interview was rescheduled for Tuesday @ 9:30 a.m. EST so everyone think Good Thoughts during that time. I'm waiting for ANTM to start again, even though I secretly hate it. I'm ready for spring! Because it looks like spring some days, but then it's just too chilly to abide. And the other day (maybe Thursday?) was completely gray, dank and like a weather personification of these crap-ass death colds that have been incessantly circulating around our family. J.Lo is on the mend and me too, but now the children are hacking. What on earth. Die germs! already.
I've been working on an article for a digital magazine, randomly, about traversing the world of organics, and segued in my research to find a CSA that we're totally going to join. Since we can do a quarter bushel every week for 24 weeks, for slightly more than $10/week. I feel like it's an awesome plan to supplement our garden yields.
Speaking of plants, I'm still devastated by proxy about your lot being taken all apart. All the symbolism and magic that went with it falls, also. So unfair.
I still have to blog about those creepy, I mean awesome, caterpillars. They're all in full chrysalis at the moment, waiting. evolving under wraps. And totally gross looking in their crunchy, gray, unassuming state. Well, but it's' true!
Ugh, now the children are demanding to be fed. How rude.
Will e you more in a bit - xo,
your penelaotang
At the moment I'm extremely restless, but this hasn't been the norm. No, it's more - wake up, J.Lo, so we can make some biscuits! and the puppy can quit clamoring for your presence already. And the coffee hasn't cooled enough to sip, and I'm too scared to open the biscuit can. And dagnabbit, the puppy keeps chewing on your shoes and my pillowcases. Oh my.
But anyway. Let's talk about madskillz in the Goodwill shopping dept. Ooo, I would so love to go to one or three of your Goodwills in LA. Because if I'm finding decent stuff here (The Loft! Old Navy! Express! J.Crew!) I can only imagine what I'd find there. So far I've added to my wardrobe for outrageously minimal expense: dress shoes, dress pants, a skirt, multiple shirts - some dressy but mostly casual, a sweater, a cardigan, a pair of cords and a pair of jeans. Some of it mildly flawed, of course (like how am I going to get the sharpie-d on price of $4.99 off the bottom of that one pair of shoes?), but some of it remarkably unworn looking. A month ago before I understood the sale system, I had tried on a bunch and wanted to walk out with it all, but then the sale items were explained, and I sighed and put most of it back. But then! I realized most of this stuff probably wasn't going anywhere, so each week I come back and pilfer the things that are currently $1. It's like a game, I admit, and I'm most amused by my take-home clothes-lotto winnings. And then - because I've done a barely adequate job of maintaining a proper wardrobe over approximately the last 10 years, I trade out - with the old. In with the new. All my shit goes back to Goodwill to possibly make someone else happy.
Whatelse. My interview was rescheduled for Tuesday @ 9:30 a.m. EST so everyone think Good Thoughts during that time. I'm waiting for ANTM to start again, even though I secretly hate it. I'm ready for spring! Because it looks like spring some days, but then it's just too chilly to abide. And the other day (maybe Thursday?) was completely gray, dank and like a weather personification of these crap-ass death colds that have been incessantly circulating around our family. J.Lo is on the mend and me too, but now the children are hacking. What on earth. Die germs! already.
I've been working on an article for a digital magazine, randomly, about traversing the world of organics, and segued in my research to find a CSA that we're totally going to join. Since we can do a quarter bushel every week for 24 weeks, for slightly more than $10/week. I feel like it's an awesome plan to supplement our garden yields.
Speaking of plants, I'm still devastated by proxy about your lot being taken all apart. All the symbolism and magic that went with it falls, also. So unfair.
I still have to blog about those creepy, I mean awesome, caterpillars. They're all in full chrysalis at the moment, waiting. evolving under wraps. And totally gross looking in their crunchy, gray, unassuming state. Well, but it's' true!
Ugh, now the children are demanding to be fed. How rude.
Will e you more in a bit - xo,
your penelaotang
Friday, February 22, 2013
dear m-and-cath,
How you ladies persevere! over the strife of bad hotels and tourist ripoffs (the French are the same way about napkin usage - wtf people?) and somanystairs. Mostly it sounds like you're both rolling with the hot and the sweat and embracing the ride, vanbreakdowns and all. I love hearing about candy-making and random snake-handling and tour guides addicted to Facebook. Also, let's not overlook the fact of a guide named Cornelius, which makes me think of the Rudolph special and Yukon Cornelius checking his pickaxe for gold. (There's an old-school Christmas special reference in EVERYTHING.)
It's been two weeks with Sophie and after her morning bout of Puppy Crazies, she's resting in my lap. Aw, puppy. She's a good one. Loved and loving. Smart and so far an oddly good little puppy student, although there's of course the obligatory streak of stubbornness and spite, with a dash of punk. Would things be interesting otherwise. And Bender, dare-I-say, is making a full recovery with YuckBattle 2013. One would think canned food and meds would be a giant pain in the ass, but that she's a heedless wolfer-downer-of-mushy-food, this has all been mercifully easy. So Bender lives a little while more. ThankyouGod for that. Because she's a spaz, that one, but need I emphasize my love for the creature.
Oh, I feel like I traveled to you last night in my dreams! Like I did some high-five with Cath as she left, and I appeared, and who knows what country we were even in or going to, but it all made sense in the dream. I met M, I feel like? And some other K teachers? There were boats and hotels and sunsets. Cityscape. Lots of glass and water. And it seemed improbable even within the context of the dream that I was there, but somehow there I was and you were like, here's where we are going, come along with me.
Bells was not as epic-long as I had expected, because I'm not in fact playing Sunday (the next Sunday instead), but tonight shall be some silliness in which our director will pretend to be very arrogant, direct us badly, get fed up, direct a recorded performance instead, during which we walk out - then we play for real (hopefully well) without his help, but then he takes a bow for our performance, taking credit. And gets a cream pie to the face. For realsies.
J.Lo has The Snarfle now, adding a high-maintenance wrinkle to weekend events, but whatevs. I think he'll still rally and participate as penelope requires. He did build me the awesome planter box after all, complete with wheels. And I've been gathering Easter Garden supplies, although according to Mom I'm still on Wilmington time with my expectations of what the home improvement store should have available this time of year. Slim pickings, but I'll make do. Yesterday I harvested moss from the yard(!) (will it live!), made a cross from string and sticks, purchased a $4 clay, stone-esque pot MADE IN VIETNAM that will serve as a tomb. Rocks from the yard have been collected. Today I buy dirt, and drainage rocks, and pansies and some succulents. And take it all to the church in the Starship Lo.Co.
My. However will it all be executed. And I'm still in my pj's. But to be fair, I've already baked the dessert for tonight's churchsupper (that I should have baked yesterday) and K.Lo was operating on a 2-hour delay for school. Because that's what we do every time a snowflake falls somewhere in the county (which is the size of Rhode Island! and therefore increases chances of snowflake delays). Also, I'm feeling all productive and hopeful about the second job I applied for, the envelope currently laying-in-wait in the mailbox, even though I feel like it will be a lucky break if they even glance at my application. But it's a library job, developing youth programs, and that would be kind of awesome, right?
Eventually employment will happen, according to the laws of odds, or so I keep telling myself. Will I be a Hardee's biscuit maker, or something more? it's out of my hands...
Coming soon: the blogpost about gremlin caterpillars.
love to you both across the seas,
penelope
It's been two weeks with Sophie and after her morning bout of Puppy Crazies, she's resting in my lap. Aw, puppy. She's a good one. Loved and loving. Smart and so far an oddly good little puppy student, although there's of course the obligatory streak of stubbornness and spite, with a dash of punk. Would things be interesting otherwise. And Bender, dare-I-say, is making a full recovery with YuckBattle 2013. One would think canned food and meds would be a giant pain in the ass, but that she's a heedless wolfer-downer-of-mushy-food, this has all been mercifully easy. So Bender lives a little while more. ThankyouGod for that. Because she's a spaz, that one, but need I emphasize my love for the creature.
Oh, I feel like I traveled to you last night in my dreams! Like I did some high-five with Cath as she left, and I appeared, and who knows what country we were even in or going to, but it all made sense in the dream. I met M, I feel like? And some other K teachers? There were boats and hotels and sunsets. Cityscape. Lots of glass and water. And it seemed improbable even within the context of the dream that I was there, but somehow there I was and you were like, here's where we are going, come along with me.
Bells was not as epic-long as I had expected, because I'm not in fact playing Sunday (the next Sunday instead), but tonight shall be some silliness in which our director will pretend to be very arrogant, direct us badly, get fed up, direct a recorded performance instead, during which we walk out - then we play for real (hopefully well) without his help, but then he takes a bow for our performance, taking credit. And gets a cream pie to the face. For realsies.
J.Lo has The Snarfle now, adding a high-maintenance wrinkle to weekend events, but whatevs. I think he'll still rally and participate as penelope requires. He did build me the awesome planter box after all, complete with wheels. And I've been gathering Easter Garden supplies, although according to Mom I'm still on Wilmington time with my expectations of what the home improvement store should have available this time of year. Slim pickings, but I'll make do. Yesterday I harvested moss from the yard(!) (will it live!), made a cross from string and sticks, purchased a $4 clay, stone-esque pot MADE IN VIETNAM that will serve as a tomb. Rocks from the yard have been collected. Today I buy dirt, and drainage rocks, and pansies and some succulents. And take it all to the church in the Starship Lo.Co.
My. However will it all be executed. And I'm still in my pj's. But to be fair, I've already baked the dessert for tonight's churchsupper (that I should have baked yesterday) and K.Lo was operating on a 2-hour delay for school. Because that's what we do every time a snowflake falls somewhere in the county (which is the size of Rhode Island! and therefore increases chances of snowflake delays). Also, I'm feeling all productive and hopeful about the second job I applied for, the envelope currently laying-in-wait in the mailbox, even though I feel like it will be a lucky break if they even glance at my application. But it's a library job, developing youth programs, and that would be kind of awesome, right?
Eventually employment will happen, according to the laws of odds, or so I keep telling myself. Will I be a Hardee's biscuit maker, or something more? it's out of my hands...
Coming soon: the blogpost about gremlin caterpillars.
love to you both across the seas,
penelope
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
snarfle
Hello M-and-Cath,
Have you watched Downton yet? Clearly the season 3 finale has priority over, or at least on par with, all your world-traveling adventures. I was in fact much less stressed out than expected, knowing what was coming, but disappointed all the same. It seems like a kick in the teeth to us loyal viewers, really. Also, I fell asleep after an hour Sunday eve and had to watch the rest in the morning. After a restless night plagued by the sudden onset of Disgusto-Cold. I have been snarfling, head-aching, tired and *wah* ever since and would very much like to hide under the covers until it's all over.
However, life swirls on and demands attention. Like Bender, who seemed to be on the upswing from her upsetting state of being last week, but then left this horrifying, not-small streak of blood on the bed this morning and after a vet visit was determined to have colitis, or a parasite, or something. She's now loaded up with pills and powders and special foods. And if that doesn't solve the problem, there will be blood tests and other things that I'm covering my ears and LALALA-ing about.
Puppy is better behaved since Saturday, at least. Partly, she's been thwarted by her new nametag, which jangles everytime she moves. No more silent-surreptitious-shadow-lurking for the tiny fur-creature.
Also, poll-time: I applied for a TA position at a nearby school, faxing in my resume as directed by the emp agency and now, as the next forward-but-ideally-not-obnoxious step, do I: a) call to see if they received it or b) stop by in person and ask if they received it? Less to ask about the fax than to get my name remembered, or whatever. Keeping in mind that the 3-minute commute is highly appealing, amongst other pluses. And that I tend to suck at job procurement.
Today, inexplicably, K.Lo has the day off (teacher workday, or somesuch) so we're reorganizing her bedroom furniture according to her, um, vision. And it looks pretty good so far, aside from the giant, horrifying pile-o-junk in the middle of it. I mean the furniture placement is remarkably smart. She's been watching House Hunters and Love It or List It on HGTV. Mwah. And likes to switch up room furniture, which is J.Lo's bane, but my secret also-obsession, so I can't help but support it. Even when I have a cold. And want to die before moving furniture, as mentioned.
Love to you both across the land and seas,
penelope
Have you watched Downton yet? Clearly the season 3 finale has priority over, or at least on par with, all your world-traveling adventures. I was in fact much less stressed out than expected, knowing what was coming, but disappointed all the same. It seems like a kick in the teeth to us loyal viewers, really. Also, I fell asleep after an hour Sunday eve and had to watch the rest in the morning. After a restless night plagued by the sudden onset of Disgusto-Cold. I have been snarfling, head-aching, tired and *wah* ever since and would very much like to hide under the covers until it's all over.
However, life swirls on and demands attention. Like Bender, who seemed to be on the upswing from her upsetting state of being last week, but then left this horrifying, not-small streak of blood on the bed this morning and after a vet visit was determined to have colitis, or a parasite, or something. She's now loaded up with pills and powders and special foods. And if that doesn't solve the problem, there will be blood tests and other things that I'm covering my ears and LALALA-ing about.
Puppy is better behaved since Saturday, at least. Partly, she's been thwarted by her new nametag, which jangles everytime she moves. No more silent-surreptitious-shadow-lurking for the tiny fur-creature.
Also, poll-time: I applied for a TA position at a nearby school, faxing in my resume as directed by the emp agency and now, as the next forward-but-ideally-not-obnoxious step, do I: a) call to see if they received it or b) stop by in person and ask if they received it? Less to ask about the fax than to get my name remembered, or whatever. Keeping in mind that the 3-minute commute is highly appealing, amongst other pluses. And that I tend to suck at job procurement.
Today, inexplicably, K.Lo has the day off (teacher workday, or somesuch) so we're reorganizing her bedroom furniture according to her, um, vision. And it looks pretty good so far, aside from the giant, horrifying pile-o-junk in the middle of it. I mean the furniture placement is remarkably smart. She's been watching House Hunters and Love It or List It on HGTV. Mwah. And likes to switch up room furniture, which is J.Lo's bane, but my secret also-obsession, so I can't help but support it. Even when I have a cold. And want to die before moving furniture, as mentioned.
Love to you both across the land and seas,
penelope
Friday, February 15, 2013
dear oldsamey,
You're right, I have stopped labeling my posts. I don't like the new interface either - like they have tried to "simplify" it with all the white space and aesthetically I can embrace that, but its simplicity is actually complicated. It's a lie. And, I finally became so fed up with Windows Live writer, with its own impositions on formatting and the inability to add more label-categories, that I uninstalled the whole dumb thing. It was no longer bringing anything extra to the table and in fact was inciting hostility.
Two futures lay before me for the weekend - some travel, which will apparently include snow. Or staying home with puppies, the bigger of whom is ill. And smelly. And making me say things like, "Only my dog." Only Bender, possessing less sense than God gave a turnip (#blessherheart), would continue to seek out with fervor some substance that makes her grossly sick. Anyway. While less exciting, this Plan B alternative would be kind of thrilling, as it would involve a. alone/down time and b. a lot of catching up on TV. I think I'm now three behind on Grey's, one on Downton, one or two on Carrie Diaries? New ProRun. And then (completely ambitious) I still really want to watch P&P with Colin Firth. All in one go.
Or... read. I do heart my latest book in its soothing, magical prose.
Or... some work. Gag-cough. It's not that I'm not grateful for the quasi-abundance of topics in my q, even knowing half will ultimately be tossed (I can sniff out potential problems with editorial approval a mile away), but I'm more and more getting frustrated with freelancing for the time/effort it takes and correlating payment. Like after seeking, sifting, sorting topics, claiming them, figuring out if I can actually do them, writing them, finding pictures, labeling, titling, submitting them and holding my breath on their acceptance, it's like defeat waiting to happen. Granted when that $25 a pop comes through it's a brief but solid thrill, like winning a scratch-off card. Yay. And it's much more awesome to work at home, filling in the gaps of time and not dealing with human coworkers. I get the trade-off. But then. 98% of the topics, when available, are irrelevant, or problematic, or incite great snark. "Activities for Kids on Caffeine?" I think not about pinteresty crafts and lessons regarding chemical makeup and properties of the compound, but rather, Should you really be giving your kid caffeine? Won't it make them hyper and stunt their growth. How would you even reign in their caffeine-riddled energy to do an activity. And every time I see the "Chinese Teething Myths" topic in queue, I want to take a shot. Of hard liquor. Because it's been months now seeing it, and it's been claimed, unclaimed, claimed, unclaimed, and ultimately never written. Because it is a ridiculous topic. Why not just make it "Ancient Chinese Secrets," just as nonsensical and pointless and vague.
I suppose I should engage in something productive now. Like perhaps packing for the weekend, at least the children's things, or finishing my church mod-podge, even though I'm waffling on the overall design (is it cool? does it need something more?) and lamenting my lack of purple paper to fill in the remaining six gaps.
love to you and weeeeeee! enjoy your motorbike ride,
penelaotong
Two futures lay before me for the weekend - some travel, which will apparently include snow. Or staying home with puppies, the bigger of whom is ill. And smelly. And making me say things like, "Only my dog." Only Bender, possessing less sense than God gave a turnip (#blessherheart), would continue to seek out with fervor some substance that makes her grossly sick. Anyway. While less exciting, this Plan B alternative would be kind of thrilling, as it would involve a. alone/down time and b. a lot of catching up on TV. I think I'm now three behind on Grey's, one on Downton, one or two on Carrie Diaries? New ProRun. And then (completely ambitious) I still really want to watch P&P with Colin Firth. All in one go.
Or... read. I do heart my latest book in its soothing, magical prose.
Or... some work. Gag-cough. It's not that I'm not grateful for the quasi-abundance of topics in my q, even knowing half will ultimately be tossed (I can sniff out potential problems with editorial approval a mile away), but I'm more and more getting frustrated with freelancing for the time/effort it takes and correlating payment. Like after seeking, sifting, sorting topics, claiming them, figuring out if I can actually do them, writing them, finding pictures, labeling, titling, submitting them and holding my breath on their acceptance, it's like defeat waiting to happen. Granted when that $25 a pop comes through it's a brief but solid thrill, like winning a scratch-off card. Yay. And it's much more awesome to work at home, filling in the gaps of time and not dealing with human coworkers. I get the trade-off. But then. 98% of the topics, when available, are irrelevant, or problematic, or incite great snark. "Activities for Kids on Caffeine?" I think not about pinteresty crafts and lessons regarding chemical makeup and properties of the compound, but rather, Should you really be giving your kid caffeine? Won't it make them hyper and stunt their growth. How would you even reign in their caffeine-riddled energy to do an activity. And every time I see the "Chinese Teething Myths" topic in queue, I want to take a shot. Of hard liquor. Because it's been months now seeing it, and it's been claimed, unclaimed, claimed, unclaimed, and ultimately never written. Because it is a ridiculous topic. Why not just make it "Ancient Chinese Secrets," just as nonsensical and pointless and vague.
I suppose I should engage in something productive now. Like perhaps packing for the weekend, at least the children's things, or finishing my church mod-podge, even though I'm waffling on the overall design (is it cool? does it need something more?) and lamenting my lack of purple paper to fill in the remaining six gaps.
love to you and weeeeeee! enjoy your motorbike ride,
penelaotong
Sunday, November 4, 2012
oh hello
I feel slightly off-kilter at the moment, but I'm sure it's related to the time change, which I imagine you're not experiencing, because who does that elsewhere. No one. So now I can't remember if we're 13 hours apart again, or is it 11 or 14? Anyway, I played hand chimes this morning. And it really was an easy and manageable song. And I purchased a scarf from the Ladies Who Knit. And I might have promised that I'd start knitting on Thursdays once the new year started. WhatEVer. But I do like the colors and the length of this scarf, it's all very happy.
Mainly your blogpost made me laugh (affectionately). First of all you were totally cute in that horrible uniform. Also, I don't know that you don't want to work, ever, but I feel like you do want to be inspired no matter what you're doing. You want that flow, which I was listening about on an audiobook today. Where you're engaged at an optimal level and you're doing the work for its own sake and hours pass and you don't even realize it. All in a good way. And so perhaps teaching does hold that for you, I could see that in you, but there's so many variables I would imagine? to teaching. Subject matter has to matter, as does the context of your classroom and its students. You're not exactly in an ideal scenario here. Not that I don't admire and applaud your ex-pat-ing/adventuring/exploring new worlds/stretching your personal limits, because all of that's amazing. But ESL...little twits...tyrannical administration...it's mud and it's muck and not exactly conducive to flourishing. There are these things to consider. For the future. And even the present.
Re: custom underwear, I feel maybe yes? How crazy is that driving you. I went shopping for a few new clothes yesterday and none of my things have been fitting lately, and these new clothes fit and I must say it's completely lovely and worth it, to have some non-ill-fitting clothes.
I feel like maybe we should video-chat in the morning? or I'll at least continue this post after some sleep and coffee. All coherent thoughts are dripping out of my skull. Oh! but I did love your coffee picture from earlier. Yoger. I love how their little icon is not dissimilar to SBux.
xoxox
Mainly your blogpost made me laugh (affectionately). First of all you were totally cute in that horrible uniform. Also, I don't know that you don't want to work, ever, but I feel like you do want to be inspired no matter what you're doing. You want that flow, which I was listening about on an audiobook today. Where you're engaged at an optimal level and you're doing the work for its own sake and hours pass and you don't even realize it. All in a good way. And so perhaps teaching does hold that for you, I could see that in you, but there's so many variables I would imagine? to teaching. Subject matter has to matter, as does the context of your classroom and its students. You're not exactly in an ideal scenario here. Not that I don't admire and applaud your ex-pat-ing/adventuring/exploring new worlds/stretching your personal limits, because all of that's amazing. But ESL...little twits...tyrannical administration...it's mud and it's muck and not exactly conducive to flourishing. There are these things to consider. For the future. And even the present.
Re: custom underwear, I feel maybe yes? How crazy is that driving you. I went shopping for a few new clothes yesterday and none of my things have been fitting lately, and these new clothes fit and I must say it's completely lovely and worth it, to have some non-ill-fitting clothes.
I feel like maybe we should video-chat in the morning? or I'll at least continue this post after some sleep and coffee. All coherent thoughts are dripping out of my skull. Oh! but I did love your coffee picture from earlier. Yoger. I love how their little icon is not dissimilar to SBux.
xoxox
a favorite breakfast
hand chimes
sunday morning
#photochallenge #color
Saturday, November 3, 2012
#8
ok i love pro run-allstars. but of course peach it's like you know- anyway. It’s like why?
and what else. and that first challenge was just heinous i felt.
this weekend was good. slightly restless, the kind of days that remind me it's good to rest but then also remind me that i have nothing to do here. And regret not bringing my jewelry supplies. Whatever!Self. Get over it. And if I come back then I think well? And then?
And i don’t know I’m a little freaked out by 2004 us. Like who are they?! Though you do look really cute... I’m not so sure of me, flashbacking on the hideous uniform and of course will always remember our kiefer encounter. OMG. I felt like such an asshole. And I didn’t mean it that way.
Today, someone asked if i thought teaching was a profession i liked and i still STILL can’t make up my mind. It doesn’t inspire me. It’s something I can do. But what flew out of my mouth after the uhhh, was, let’s be honest, i don’t want to work. (In the professional sense and then) I want to be a wife and a mom. I keep stopping there. And then i doubt that it flew out of my mouth, because it seems made up and maybe i'm just being counter-cultural. And i think about it for like an hour afterward. I mean i would settle for not working at all. I guess? And then? And so? And i add in the tag about the artist part- but it’s like i don’t want it enough. As we’ve brought up before I don’t feel any ambition brewing. Still. And motherhood shouldn’t really be an answer to that. And then going through life with this attitude leaves me thinking i really will be an expat on some island somewhere fucking around for the rest of my life... but more like I’m skipping out on debt and I’ve changed my identity. I feel slightly pathetic? And ok, nervous. Not trusting. I’m sure God has something more interesting planned. Right? Like even at the end of office space that guy found some peace and he was all, fuckin’ A. And it all ended ok. If I can go to Vietnam with Jesus I can certainly find the rest of the way with Him also. I just need to remember that. I live in a different world and a different place that won’t be conformed to anybody or anything even if i really want it to.
Anyway i'm going to go sit in somehotwater and zone out somemore and then watch some tv or listen to that audiobook that cath put on DB. Tomorrow... work. Maybe i'll go for a hike up the oerum or I dont know. My next question is about getting a wardrobe handmade for me in vietnam and if i should wait to buy underwear of buy it now when i have a job. So far that's the sort of list i have going.
m.
and what else. and that first challenge was just heinous i felt.
this weekend was good. slightly restless, the kind of days that remind me it's good to rest but then also remind me that i have nothing to do here. And regret not bringing my jewelry supplies. Whatever!Self. Get over it. And if I come back then I think well? And then?
And i don’t know I’m a little freaked out by 2004 us. Like who are they?! Though you do look really cute... I’m not so sure of me, flashbacking on the hideous uniform and of course will always remember our kiefer encounter. OMG. I felt like such an asshole. And I didn’t mean it that way.
Today, someone asked if i thought teaching was a profession i liked and i still STILL can’t make up my mind. It doesn’t inspire me. It’s something I can do. But what flew out of my mouth after the uhhh, was, let’s be honest, i don’t want to work. (In the professional sense and then) I want to be a wife and a mom. I keep stopping there. And then i doubt that it flew out of my mouth, because it seems made up and maybe i'm just being counter-cultural. And i think about it for like an hour afterward. I mean i would settle for not working at all. I guess? And then? And so? And i add in the tag about the artist part- but it’s like i don’t want it enough. As we’ve brought up before I don’t feel any ambition brewing. Still. And motherhood shouldn’t really be an answer to that. And then going through life with this attitude leaves me thinking i really will be an expat on some island somewhere fucking around for the rest of my life... but more like I’m skipping out on debt and I’ve changed my identity. I feel slightly pathetic? And ok, nervous. Not trusting. I’m sure God has something more interesting planned. Right? Like even at the end of office space that guy found some peace and he was all, fuckin’ A. And it all ended ok. If I can go to Vietnam with Jesus I can certainly find the rest of the way with Him also. I just need to remember that. I live in a different world and a different place that won’t be conformed to anybody or anything even if i really want it to.
Anyway i'm going to go sit in somehotwater and zone out somemore and then watch some tv or listen to that audiobook that cath put on DB. Tomorrow... work. Maybe i'll go for a hike up the oerum or I dont know. My next question is about getting a wardrobe handmade for me in vietnam and if i should wait to buy underwear of buy it now when i have a job. So far that's the sort of list i have going.
m.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
from the pen-archives
(Outtakes, because some are just sad, rather than funny-sad.)
“100 Ways to Get Through Work from Now Until January [Hey, maybe should do the same kind of list, m!]
100. Make paper chain w/ alternating colors in the manner of counting down for Christmas.
99. Use ALL of your vacation and personal time. That’s four personal days + six vacation = a whopping ten (underlined three times) days off. TAKE THEM.
95. Remember that
a) people are stupid
b) it’s just cell phones.
93. Who cares.
92. With money from said wretched job, buy once a month:
a) something cute to wear
b) something cute for the baby.
91. Think that if you can get through this, labor might be plausible.
90. And when you make it to labor, remember that at least you won’t be at work, talking to asshole New York Metro customers.
89. Think about what you want to rent next from Netflix.
88. Try to remember worse days and worse situations, i.e. working at the spa, or working at McD’s (think salt, heat and grease).
87. Imagine eating french fries at McD’s.
85. Break down time in Seinfeld-like increments: minus bathroom breaks, real breaks, hold times, call work, etc. – it’s like five minutes until the end of the day, really.
84. It is literally 3 hours and 45 minutes x 2 = 7 1/2 total possible time on the phone, really.
83. It’s just phone calls.
82. They’re just people.
81. You’re just “the company” while you’re there.
80. Pay attention to the people around you, having just as great a time as you are.
79. Pretend you’re dumb, like the girl down the row, thus making you less sensitive to customer attitude and your own mistakes.
78. Think of other places – London, Chicago, Paris.
77. Plan what you’ll eat for lunch or dinner.
76. Become consumed, in the manner of an all-consuming but mild cold, by your latest symptoms/changes in pregnancy.
75. Perform puppet shows starring customers.
74. Motivate self ~ kid will be spazzy if you’re too spazzy during pregnancy. Or at least she’ll be a worrywart. [HOLY – !!!]
72. Invent alternative cocktails, other than The Warm Bath.
71. Pretend you just got lost on the way to the grocery store, and simply, temporarily, landed at this desk.
70. Pretend you’re on a show like “Candid Camera” (shouldn’t be too difficult).
68. Remember not to let anyone stress you out – who are they?
67. Cry sometimes, preferably not at work.
65. EAT CRACKERS!!!
63. Shuffle paint colors for new house around in your mind.
62. Try to vent to those other than your husband [HAHAHAHA].
61. Go to doctor, pay nothing [really good insurance at that place].
60. Hang picture of the little guppy up on desk.”
And then it ended! Disappointingly. Tsk.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Do I, Don't I?
Going to South Korea:
Pros:
How much vaykay time?
How much money can I save?
How hard/ easy is it to get things done and do stuff?
Do they have the internet?
Will it suck with the teaching?
What will i be teaching?
Who will I be teaching?
How difficult will it be to interact with the school... pay, beurocracy...? hours?
Will Twist remember me?
Will my parents wait until i come back to tile the bathroom?
I could get a mendacious substitute to stay at the house until i come back?
Will it be a positive to step back from the church stuff even if i'm not the one who planned and executed it and then i come back and it's all decided and what not?
... what else pen, what else?
Pros:
- Giving up control over things i most care about (friends, prayer at church, garden lot, twist, the HOUSE)
- Financial provision
- Financial responsibility
- Taking care of finances challenge (can i save money and live on a budget!?)
- Cultural adventure
- Job adventure
- Facing job challenge (teaching!?)
- Facing cultural challenge (what did you say?!)
- New experiences
- It's only a year
- They have starbucks in Seoul.
- I can dream about writing a book i'll never write.
- It's a year
- It's s.korea (it's far away man)
- Should I be leaving?
- developing prayer at church
- fighting the good fight with the garden lot
- the HOUSE
How much vaykay time?
How much money can I save?
How hard/ easy is it to get things done and do stuff?
Do they have the internet?
Will it suck with the teaching?
What will i be teaching?
Who will I be teaching?
How difficult will it be to interact with the school... pay, beurocracy...? hours?
Will Twist remember me?
Will my parents wait until i come back to tile the bathroom?
I could get a mendacious substitute to stay at the house until i come back?
Will it be a positive to step back from the church stuff even if i'm not the one who planned and executed it and then i come back and it's all decided and what not?
... what else pen, what else?
Friday, August 19, 2011
day ?,
good morning,
i was dreaming of kittens and cats intermittently again. and the internal clock on my computer died. strangely enough. i had, i'm sure of it, a few years ago told dad that my clock stopped telling the correct time. which he ignored. but now suddenly its serious and warnings are popping up. dad says, and no, you can't do anything without it. i found the time had reset itself to 1999, january. at that time i was still going to CSUN. i had my thesis to finish. i'd applied to SAIC by the end of the year. agreed to do a missions trip to alaska at a summer camp- for free? what the fuck was i thinking. i was not. even then i had a blind optimism toward my financial situation. it was only when i got to grad school that i proved to be completely wrong. am i operating under a curse?
anyway i took the battery out of the mother board and am on my way to radio shack. i guess. oh also since i complained on FB i did get a tantalizing offer to teach english in korea. which i'm seriously considering. and a mysterious email from an aquaintence asking what i was doing on saturday from 10-12 because through some friends shes learned of a good way to make money. it sounds like a pyramid scheme.
i wonder what else i was doing in 1999. i'd go back to look but eh. oh yes, i was also working at barnes&noble. i was doing step aerobics twice a week and swimming. dreaming of rowing crew. finishing some idiotic theatre productions at school since my actual professional work didn't matter to them- working up to try and get the theatre dept head fired... i had a lot of vitrol back then. fighting with my ass of a thesis director which carried well into the first semester at gradschool. breaking up with my acting company. meeting lost loves. those were the days. all right i'm boring myself. is it good when the chaos ofyour past becomes boring? laughable? or what? i mean really i do wish i had more of my vitrol back.
next up flaxseed muffins. listening group. more episodes of eureka. also posting fur and vintage dresses on craigslist because why not. love you.
m.
i was dreaming of kittens and cats intermittently again. and the internal clock on my computer died. strangely enough. i had, i'm sure of it, a few years ago told dad that my clock stopped telling the correct time. which he ignored. but now suddenly its serious and warnings are popping up. dad says, and no, you can't do anything without it. i found the time had reset itself to 1999, january. at that time i was still going to CSUN. i had my thesis to finish. i'd applied to SAIC by the end of the year. agreed to do a missions trip to alaska at a summer camp- for free? what the fuck was i thinking. i was not. even then i had a blind optimism toward my financial situation. it was only when i got to grad school that i proved to be completely wrong. am i operating under a curse?
anyway i took the battery out of the mother board and am on my way to radio shack. i guess. oh also since i complained on FB i did get a tantalizing offer to teach english in korea. which i'm seriously considering. and a mysterious email from an aquaintence asking what i was doing on saturday from 10-12 because through some friends shes learned of a good way to make money. it sounds like a pyramid scheme.
i wonder what else i was doing in 1999. i'd go back to look but eh. oh yes, i was also working at barnes&noble. i was doing step aerobics twice a week and swimming. dreaming of rowing crew. finishing some idiotic theatre productions at school since my actual professional work didn't matter to them- working up to try and get the theatre dept head fired... i had a lot of vitrol back then. fighting with my ass of a thesis director which carried well into the first semester at gradschool. breaking up with my acting company. meeting lost loves. those were the days. all right i'm boring myself. is it good when the chaos ofyour past becomes boring? laughable? or what? i mean really i do wish i had more of my vitrol back.
next up flaxseed muffins. listening group. more episodes of eureka. also posting fur and vintage dresses on craigslist because why not. love you.
m.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Penstrings,
So yesterday I went to Szu-Hua's concert downtown. I have no idea who katvon d (she was hosting it), why her voice is so deep and was distracted by her sparkly gold 4inch stilettos...is, but i loved listening to the music. It was one of those things where the price was right and the adventure seemed on par with me. I didn't tell anyone, invite anyone else for the secret fear that if i were given a minute more to think about it I wouldn't go. Even up to the last hours I was fairly convinced I didn't need to go despite that I bought the ticket and told her i was coming. But anyway I took the train and even switched cars when someone got too loud or obnoxious for me to bear. (It was this girl on the way back posturing about her own kind don't like her, and she's ready to stab people. riiiight.) This is the only time i really long for my ipod to be working. Anyway- The classical music took me to all sorts of lovely visual places. The last piece seemed to me a vivid cream yellow, though it was entitled 'rain'. And at one point a red dragon flew me into a clump of trees and left me there while the world started dripping red and yellow swirly paint around me. There was a piece called 'gluttony' that was really my auditory favorite. And which I lack the skills to describe.
The only thing I was combating while i was there, was the sinking realization that this temp job i had agreed to interview was thee worst possible thing for me. It was like, at the time i swallowed the pill not realizing its disastrous effects until it was already traveling down my esophagus. The temp woman who wants me to retool my resume, offered me an interview with a 3month assignment- pretty nice of her, considering the competitive field of even temp offices. Until I crunched the #'s and the horrific realization that I make as much on unemployment, and it would be for something I'm not remotely interested in. And an equal realization i need to be way more grateful if my 3rd ext. comes through. And i wont know that until next week. But anyway faced up against that, I'll take anything, do anything- suddenly seemed really wrong. Like I was trying to walk away from a place that God deliberately had me in. And that to walk away just to walk away seemed flawed if not perilously ridiculous. Though I'm sure it would've been fine either way. I was bound up with anxiety in between beautiful strains of stringed instruments, though I think one of the pieces was geared for that- the need to deep breathe. So anyway I called her at 830 which was as long as I can wait, in between the sinking feeling that i was getting a cold, but I'll continue to blame allergies, and she was perfectly nice about it as I rattled on about needing to get ready and blahblahblah, its not right, yadda, yadda, inner voice, screeching No! in the dark all night, etc,etc,etc.
m.
The only thing I was combating while i was there, was the sinking realization that this temp job i had agreed to interview was thee worst possible thing for me. It was like, at the time i swallowed the pill not realizing its disastrous effects until it was already traveling down my esophagus. The temp woman who wants me to retool my resume, offered me an interview with a 3month assignment- pretty nice of her, considering the competitive field of even temp offices. Until I crunched the #'s and the horrific realization that I make as much on unemployment, and it would be for something I'm not remotely interested in. And an equal realization i need to be way more grateful if my 3rd ext. comes through. And i wont know that until next week. But anyway faced up against that, I'll take anything, do anything- suddenly seemed really wrong. Like I was trying to walk away from a place that God deliberately had me in. And that to walk away just to walk away seemed flawed if not perilously ridiculous. Though I'm sure it would've been fine either way. I was bound up with anxiety in between beautiful strains of stringed instruments, though I think one of the pieces was geared for that- the need to deep breathe. So anyway I called her at 830 which was as long as I can wait, in between the sinking feeling that i was getting a cold, but I'll continue to blame allergies, and she was perfectly nice about it as I rattled on about needing to get ready and blahblahblah, its not right, yadda, yadda, inner voice, screeching No! in the dark all night, etc,etc,etc.
m.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
oh m…
I’m feeling a little stabbed in the heart at the moment, and this fuzzy navel drink is too sugary, but I suppose I will persevere. As K.Lo noted while reading a pretend story tonight, “And that’s why a Penelope never gives up.” I don’t know where she gets this stuff from … possibly it was a sign from the universe to not feel too let down. But I do. No dreamjob for me. No debt reduction. No furthered sense of validation in the career department.
But a Penelope never gives up.
I did say that if I didn’t land said dreamjob, I would take it as a sign to get more involved with cause A, and I feel called to do that. For reasons I may or may not expound on someday. Secrets about Penelope. Ooo. But the questions for me are not why, but how, what, when, where? I mean aside from this crap economy, it’s a problem. And I guess it’s all a slow-building thing, like freelancewritingingeneral, but it’s hard to be patient and confident that it will all pay off, and be meaningful to boot.
Meanwhile, TWC (semi-evil cable co.) is switching up the channel lineup, and I’m trepidatious that it will affect my DVR settings. Because omg, what an organizational nightmare, right? But then, also in the meantime, we are likely switching companies, and so everything will be turned upside down anyway. Possibly twice, if we do switch. I just don’t want to miss Survivor or Top Model, it’s all I ask.
And speaking of Survivor, DBruckner, I have a lot to say… I said some of it on CliqueClack that one time. Which I want to do again, but it’s a resources issue: time vs. no money. But oh yes, lots to say. I don’t even know who I’m rooting for at this point? is one thing. I feel Courtney should have been voted out weeks ago, before Boston Rob and Coach, both. But I do sort of love Russell in spite of it all? But then, his ego. His downfall. Ugh. So frustrating to watch. On the other hand: Jerri and Coach? Ha ha ha ha ha!
But back to my letter to m. I eventually (or all at once, as I’m prone to do) want to rip out the landscaping cloth in the front yard and put down real dirt. There’s just hard-packed sand under there, and that landscaping cloth is the devil. I hate it on principle, and we did not lay it down. Previous homeowners, curses. In addition to the new tree, which is doing lovely(!) I’d like to add a few more trees someday and see if something can be done to spruce the area around the porch, on the relatively cheap. Maybe some sort of low-maintenance creeping plant that loves any soil and does not mind sun. Does it exist? Somebody’s mom?
Did you watch that Good Hair doc on Netflix, or…?
Also, the farmer’s market has started, and strawberries will be ready for picking next week. So those things are exciting. I’m still not reading enough, but at least I’ve read a few pages or whatever. Almost halfway through the kungfu book.
I’ve now broken the the first rule of SleepClub, up past a certain hour and still on the computer, provoking my neurons into twitchy behavior … it’s not good. So good night. Happysafe journeys to Chi in the morning.
pen
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Penforgov,
hello foot walker. i'm sitting here waiting for the to edd call. technically it did just roll over to 3:01 and they have another 2hours and 59 minutes to call but whatever. the important part of today minus the annoying part was that i printed out my biola essays and shipped them off. and i bought a knee brace. hopefully i bought the right size.
i just dazed away and its now 3:06. chewing some gum, drinking some tea. ho hum.
did i mention i finished my essays?
3:07.
i've also developed a lis--
3:09
hummm.
3:12! THEY CALLED!
3:14... uh, i mischecked a box on the mutha'fuckin'form.
*sigh.
let the govt. cheese continue!
with the full knowledge that if school- this mythical thing that danica believes in- i applied for is to happen- that eventually i will have to cut myself off? God is going to have to cut me off? Some sort of cutting off and onto something else? Is in order? Maybe?
ok, now i can focus on hiking and ironontransfer paper. totally expensive by the way!
m.
i just dazed away and its now 3:06. chewing some gum, drinking some tea. ho hum.
did i mention i finished my essays?
3:07.
i've also developed a lis--
3:09
hummm.
3:12! THEY CALLED!
3:14... uh, i mischecked a box on the mutha'fuckin'form.
*sigh.
let the govt. cheese continue!
with the full knowledge that if school- this mythical thing that danica believes in- i applied for is to happen- that eventually i will have to cut myself off? God is going to have to cut me off? Some sort of cutting off and onto something else? Is in order? Maybe?
ok, now i can focus on hiking and ironontransfer paper. totally expensive by the way!
m.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Dear Penelope,
this was today,
i'm eating a popsicle and pondering that no, the oatmeal didnot cut it.
i decided with nothing to do i would do my taxes. so check that off the lst. i'm pretty sure i filed my state ones becs then it said take the survey but i was too fast closing windows but i hope it submitted. we'll see. i'm suppose to be getting $293 back total ... fairly good for not having made any money this year. there was that month and 1/2 though.
also randomly this woman had my business card from a couple yers back and wanted to buy some seaweed prints. crazy. so thats cool and wanted to chat about SAIC and if seaweed pressing is a good natural project for this craft magazine and is going to fwd my info to her editor... wha....? so i had some shenanigans trying to update my websitewhich i've been intending to do for like months.... but it proves the websites usefulness. and that it should show copyright stamps from 0'10 and not 08. also maybe as i'd been intending to do for the last 2 years, to go collect seaweed. and get some more.
interesting developments.
and though i have no money coming in, as my unemploy check is still not here... its all going to be ok. i havent cut up the card yet but i think once i see the wheels turning again i will...
ive also started downloading songs... uploading? anyway. want to make me a mix cd of your favorites??
i'm eating a popsicle and pondering that no, the oatmeal didnot cut it.
i decided with nothing to do i would do my taxes. so check that off the lst. i'm pretty sure i filed my state ones becs then it said take the survey but i was too fast closing windows but i hope it submitted. we'll see. i'm suppose to be getting $293 back total ... fairly good for not having made any money this year. there was that month and 1/2 though.
also randomly this woman had my business card from a couple yers back and wanted to buy some seaweed prints. crazy. so thats cool and wanted to chat about SAIC and if seaweed pressing is a good natural project for this craft magazine and is going to fwd my info to her editor... wha....? so i had some shenanigans trying to update my websitewhich i've been intending to do for like months.... but it proves the websites usefulness. and that it should show copyright stamps from 0'10 and not 08. also maybe as i'd been intending to do for the last 2 years, to go collect seaweed. and get some more.
interesting developments.
and though i have no money coming in, as my unemploy check is still not here... its all going to be ok. i havent cut up the card yet but i think once i see the wheels turning again i will...
ive also started downloading songs... uploading? anyway. want to make me a mix cd of your favorites??
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