happy, happy girl

Over here! After making the dreaded car lock appointment, imagining some abhorrent bill in the neighborhood of $400 or more—I really have no idea, it could have been less, it could have been way more—I was all set to go, just ready for it to be over. Then, J.Lo came up with a brilliant, master-mindful plan to take the car to Best Buy and install keyless entry. Completely bypass the tumbler problem altogether. It priced out much, much cheaper at $150, they just happened to have an opening for the install, and voila. I can get into my car, AND I have keyless, which I have long dreamed of. It feels like quite a luxury to not have to fiddle with the locks, which were always a little bit of a pain in the ass, I will admit, i.e. no all-lock/unlock on the passenger’s side, and even on the driver’s side, there was a trick to it. I won’t go into details, mainly because it doesn’t matter anymore! Hallelujah. May I just say that every Manager needs keyless entry, for the afore-blogged-about problem of toting children, bags, backpacks, sippy cups, etc., much less

in.

the.

rain.

Hurray!

wow i’m like so over it already

Have you guys ever heard of the tumblers getting all messed up in your car locks? Or maybe somebody squirted some slow-release epoxy in there? The passenger side has been bad for months, where you have to insert the key several times before the lock will turn, jiggle it, curse, pray, beg, and dance to get it to work properly. And recently, the driver’s side has been bad as well. Now, it’s really bad. The last two days, I’ve been challenged to Breathe Deeply and summon all sorts of Zen Energies while attempting to unlock my motherf&*%ing wonderful, reliable, and mostly functional vehicle that I’m entirely grateful to own. Such as this morning, in the rain, while holding: 3 jackets, a purse, a sippy cup, a backpack, a snack Tupperware, and a 25+-lb. N.Lo who doesn’t always hold on.

It was, um, frustrating.

Obviously, a trip to the Honda dealer is necessary at this juncture, but it doesn’t mean I’m not annoyed. Grrr.

Name my debt mobile!

It's the one on the left! It was either "fun and sporty" or you know "young professional"... and clearly i'm not that. i've always had to stay minimumly employed for the CC so i don't know why a carbill and insurance would make my chest tighten and yet... But anyway baby needs a new name. To start its life off right. Any suggestions?

Yes, Just Then I Had Nothing To Blog About, But Now...

So I'm driving home and on the phone (handsfree) with my roadtrip partner in crime to be. It's a sunny warm day and traffic is moving at a good clip, 5 miles from home. Coming home early in fact. The fast lane. Lately avoiding the slower lanes because the trucks crush the pave and make it like a 3rdworld roadhazard from one huge crack and dip to the next.

The fast lane though, the fast lane is smooth sailing. Until suddenly there's some rapid breaking and dodges to the left shoulder. Real fast. In tandem. And me, left with pie on my face. Except the pie is a 3ft long 7in" tall and just as thick, hunk of metal. And i think, well, fuck i'm going to hit it, and oh shit, no, it's not going to clear my car. In one immobile mocking swoop it cracked my bumper, took out my radiator, ripped the coolant line, gashed my oil pan, punctured the transmission pan and sent my OH FUCK! button blinking. But just initially i said, Oh, my gosh, i just hit something. Yes, yes, i am going to pull over- as the impact sent dust into my air vents... I watched it spiral to the side and less harmfully parrelled the oncoming traffic and i saw a truck pulling over to the shoulder and wondered if he'd maybe lost a carthrashingdevice. For a few blissful seconds the car seemed okay. i made it to the 2nd lane when ! "ohshit" light came on and then to the slow lane where the check engine light aka "you're fucked" also signaled my steady decline from okay to not.

I thankfully, speedily made it off the freeway, not interrupted by one car, and had enough time to pull under the overpass as my car began to sputter and die. I remained on the phone with my friend, watching the life of my car ooze down the cement, floods of green and black oily death. She expressed her concern that I'd also just lately gotten a ticket and then i mentioned to her that a car hurtled at her just a few weeks ago as she stood by some guys parked car, and he crashed. I began to immediately worry for our safety on the trip. Then: how am i getting to work? And: Oh, yah, this is my parents car and dad saying, well it's only worth $4,000 and now we've got $2,500 worth of damages and blah blah blah.... I'm not quite ready to buy a car I thought. And shouldn't I call someone about the carthrashingdevice? Has someone already called? Has someone else already hit it? Who lost it? Who for fucksake put it there and left it for me to hit? But I should probably call someone shouldn't I??

In instant replay i continue to hit the object deadon. I think about swerving and if i do it punctures my tire, blowing it, and i spin out and get thrashed by oncoming traffic. In instant replay i swerve and miss it and the next guy hits it. In instant replay the other cars honk and warn me in time, but I still hit it. I still hit it. Still. And my car is still not okay.

another

things done from the car:

• buffed and trimmed nails
• flossed
• eaten sausage biscuit
• drank my diet coke
• drove with knee
• channel surfed
• handsfree phone calling
• non specified thinking: (stream of conscience)
• counted change
• ascertained annoying rattle- contained it.