Penovations,

So here we go. In the end of this tale, my brother arrived and didn't really praise the bathroom, but I got to shower, and mom and i continue to be awesome together. Oh and projects and my family work unless you're acting as a rogue agent like my brother who woke up and decided to fuck with my beautiful boston ivy. Makes me so mad. Danica reminds me I need to love him but he totally slashed God's art and mangled it and it won't be another year until its right again. Despite all the weeds he pulled, i should've known waking up to a shovel grating against asphault was a harbinger of doom. It was my fault i didn't bolt out of bed. I'm so going to bed early. Me needs a nap.

Anyway at the beginning of this tale we kept the original 1948 vanity. And took away all of these awesome layers of paint. Mom did the most work with the toxic fabulous goo. go mom!

here's dad littering his cigarette butts in the garden of eden. In somewhat a compassionate note he is a stress basket and did have a lot to do in a short amount of time including coordinating electrical, plumbing, dryer repair, drywall, carpentry, a car show and registering his vehicle and bathing it, and mom. The workers were: Salvador, Raul, Jose, and Alejandro. Oh, and me, lets not forget, cuz i'm awesome. I powerwashed the patio, polished things, dusted, vacuumed, and tidy-d. Cigarette butts are litter though guys, don't deny. I'm thinking a soft very light blue for the bathroom. I can't decide the color of the vanity yet but i painted the insides a rad shade of cranberry. and this is my dream tile which we must save up for. i think it goes with both an earthy yet contemporary feel? i want it to cover the vanity and the floor and small white subway tiles as the backsplash and in the shower.
and lo and behold like magic, primer works wonders! though in the right angle the spackle looked like puffy white clouds in the bright sky. and then dad got all obsessed with making sure the sheeting protected the permabase whatever until we tile and that took forever and then something was leaking after everyone left and the door wouldn't go back on right- so we don't have to yell 'virtual door' anymore- and can just shut it like normal people even if there isn't a knob on the door. but one last group effort...also i'm super proud of mom buying brushed nickle and those awesome round bulbs and i picked out the curved shower bar which rocks! and pushed for the tile being elevated past the window which seriously helps the bathroom with verticality and looking not so claustraphobic.

look at that beautiful white unblemished wall! the sound of the toilet is even different!

G O U S !

next up: crack next to door and vanity, floor, tile, vanity, new door

(just to mark how long it might take)

and

wish list: new window, new shower fixture, and onward to the kitchen.

Pen-

My question is to shower at the gym tomorrow or wait till friday. I'd say tomorrow I think. Cuz hopefully by Friday the plastic sheeting will be up and we can shower all we want, especially since mom "coincidentally" decided to pump the septic tank, at least 5 years overdue, coinciding to the brother's visit. Though apparently just now, mom has corrected me by saying just 5 years ago we pumped it. So maybe then its just 3 years overdue. I can't decide. Either way though a septic tank makes me feel green and earth conscious it stresses me out like taking care of a car. But worse. One that is always making you aware of itself by your actions. You'd be amazed at what not to put down the sink, let alone encroaching shrubs and trees. And then there's the shiny new shopvac my dad bought today bcs his other one died and I'm thinking that better not be my tiles going up in sucking hot air. *sigh. Cuz you know i'm obsessed now with getting exactly the tiles I want. Dangit. But otherwise things are progressing: vanity reinstalled and given tlc and lifted up a helpful 2", concrete stuff up in the shower, another coat of spackle applied- next its the fixtures, primer the walls and we're good for the visit, besides dusting, and sweeping the floor. And that whole, where exactly are people sleeping?

ANyway, I feel slightly scattered. I have lists, and things but really its like I can't focus on anything until after the brother. Like exercise and re-doing a resume as if i were someone else? I know you have no idea what i mean. But I'll totally talk about it more in the next blog. Right now I'm watching a nova special on macchu picchu and i'm a tad distracted. And tired from doing not so much, but just enough? It was a waiting around kind of day, a few garden pots, some clean up work, some painting, some hole digging before the sun went down and that was it.

more soon,
m.

Pencomplaint,

This was not the day to be stranded at home as the power is going to go off in an hour or so. (mom took the car) And my phone is flipping out and i'm getting messages from my hotmail. Maybe that's a good thing. I don't know. But chime-chime-chime as i'm trying to sleep...? eh. Yesterday I maxed out my CC trying to buy a bathing suit from target just so I could have an alternate, though as I looked at it later its almost too fancy for its cheap price. And am I going to swim laps in that? Which doesn't matter anyway bcs the pool is closed until the Friday and the other pool that I love in Pas is closed until mid-june. Whatthehell. Obviously I need to schedule in a beach trip. Not that I can afford the gas but whatever I have like 3 new beach dresses, which despite my effort at some modesty still spill a little bit comparatively speaking, and they're totally cute. But anyway I had my debit card with me and I also bought some fancy dental floss. I went mostly undaunted after that to yoga where I felt productive, and then met amber at sharkeys. Though I felt pukish after lunch and slightly like I'm fighting something off toward bedtime. Which may explain why I find myself feeling like a failure. Non-specified. Or that vague apprehension like i've forgotten something. Roving anxiety. My finished book, and oh! after 2 1/2 yrs juryduty found me again. I'm wondering if i want to make it my job. Get a long trial if I can? Eh. Beats trying to rehab a resume geared solely to a career in an industry I can't become employed in. Which looking around at my home group- 1/2 of us are unemployed or hate their jobs and in various degrees of disgruntled so. At least i'm not alone.

I need to take a shower but that's currently impossible and brush my teeth but I don't feel like it. I think maybe after I plant all the baby plants I'll shower outside. It's more possible than it would seem like doing other things outside, which really I don't mind doing because I'm that sort of person. As a side note the only worry i have about the bathroom is the shittylooking tub that we're keeping and i'm worried that the vanity which I think we're also keeping needs some massive overhaul before it looks anywhere decent... oh and the 80's industrial window my parents are refusing to replace. I know all of these things will look like crap against shiny new tile and a sparkly new mirror and more bathroom lighting, is all I'm saying. And it just means that I have to stare at something when i go in there and huff and think SOMEDAY. And by that I mean some mythical day when I have money? or a husband? or what? to be able to replace a shittywindow and buy a new vanity. ? Never. Anyway.

I'm a tad cranky. And everytime I sigh the muscles around my ribs hurt because of yoga. Whatever I'll sign off. I'm going to start reading our book again and I'll pick another alternate so i don't get too far ahead. What with the no power coming my way in a minute. Sure I could meditate but thats only for an hour and I'm boycotting that right now. I did however give myself a really kick ass looking pedicure and manicure. And there's a chance my benefits might get extended again. So there's that. And tanning. And I don't know what else. Oh and yah, what a weird season finale for the office. I almost liked that there was no really big cliff hanger. House was good though it seemed a bit rushed. Maybe I'll bump up my netflix to 2 at a time now. Though I only have 30 things on my que... so then what? Nevermind.

xo,
m.

Penolition!

As you may remember I started demo'ing the bathroom while the rents were away almost TWO (2) years to the day of this now final enterprise. My parents, lying in wait for revenge however, I came home one day to find drywall on 1 ONE wall only, with an unfinished line down the middle and none of my garbage bag art on the walls and the mold, still totally there. It sat there mocking me along with a shiny toilet paper holder- of things that could be, of things that would never come. And while 700 days have passed since that time, I was ready to turn the bathroom into an art installation- mapping out its story, literally came this .-. close to doing just that... The 1948 plaster. The 1980's rehab which stopped midsentence. The various paint jobs to make light of the apparent waiting repairs- while neglect and decay set in, and the roof and toilet replaced- telling the story of the leaky roof and the doorknob missing, and of the pipebursting. But apparently it was not to be. As I got a cryptic email about drywall being put up and demolition starting (green lit me). But as mom was soon to realize all or nothing - which i totally excel at- was exactly what this bathroom needed. Can't just put up new drywall without replacing the pipes, without replacing the ceiling, without putting in new electrical and insulation. And while we're waiting for some delays to come thru with the new house- guess which house gets attention!? This one. Though obviously the fact that my brother is coming after a 6 year absence was the inital spurning on of my mom. I while try to ignore the fact that the visiting grandchild warrents such sweeping change and yet we who live here do not- but as mom says- deadline pressure. Since they're coming on the 4th. By then- new pipes, new floor, new ceiling, rehabbed counter... WOuld you believe they coated the walls, the floor, and the kitchen sink, with almost 2"inch thick crazy solid concrete? You will note i got pretty far and then just decided to fuck it and let my dads guy Salvador do the rest, plus i may have put a chip in the bathtub. Whatevs. And i definitely didn't want to suck out the nasty attic insulation. Ugh. Arms itching already everywhere. So now as i sit here the bathroom is gutted, except for the floor which is next. And the tile debate btw mom and i is the next current, which way the bathroom is going to go- although i'm totally willing to keep the poor cabinet as long as we can make it pretty again is all i'm saying. But anyway, you must stay tuned to this most exciting!! development in the history of these here enterprises. It gives me hope! It gives me enthusiasm- a certain

special something for life and living again. I just don't know. It's like - it IS a dream come true. You will note the sleeping mountain lion. I'm going to miss him along with the sleeping curled up fox in his den and the mountain sheep. Goodbye lion! I love you!

bathroom demo! oooh ya!

after this pic i did put a long sleeved shirt on and a full plexi face shield. and over the course of 3-4 hours sweat began pouring down my face because it was literally over 100 degrees in the room. damn plaster... i kept getting it in my eyes and sucking it into my nose. filled my garbage bin and another trashcan and then i stopped short of the shower and left that disaster for another day... discovering the toxic/non-toxic mold of black death was a bit of a downer... remember that pipe leak that we discovered in december? yah... good times! in that i suddenly feared for my life and retraced how i siphoned the air out of the bathroom as some of the dust had coated various things around the house... but whatever. i sort of like the bathroom more now. it's not trying to be a real bathroom with 1/2 finished walls. it's fully dismantled. and i think it likes it this way. it certainly does do something for the verticality of the place. and once mom gets rid of the mold it'll be a pretty livable place until we get around to fixing it- circa 2040.



i covered the blackdeath with garbage bags and duct tape-- bcs mold like stinks and is all spory and gross and what not...

the controversial bathroom post of '07

we all have things about us that we'd rather not let people examine closely, certain areas of our lives if laid bare would show us a dingy and disorganized person. that perhaps if that place were seen people would judge and criticize and sometimes whatever they say, whatever the examination means is possibly true. and is that really something to feel bad about? it's truth. it's the reality of the situation. the truth about our bathroom is that it's half done and in disrepair. and that it's been this way for 20 years. since 1988. since i was 12. that i grew up with a mortification of anyone having to come over and use it. that over time i became less embarrassed, less distressed and uptight about such a thing bcs over so long those feelings wore away to a tiny little bit of fact. normal people would react this way. normal people would feel humiliated. my parents gift and curse is that they can overlook a lot of things so much so that they no longer see things for what they are and only if reminded, if people are coming over, or i point to it does mom realize the way normal people might react. everday this bathroom bothers me. our kitchen bothers me... the floor rotting away bothers me. bcs part of my gift and curse is that my eye always roves for an aesthetic perfection and it never stops. the bathroom became this way because the old plaster doesn't match with the now old new drywall. my parents came against the problem and their pause became a halt which became a stop which became a forgotten. and it had very little to do with money...at the end, after all this time. so after 20years a very old galvanized pipe sprang a leak and as my mom had suspected for sometime there was moisture building- and only confirmed when in the cooler winter months a giant fungus sprung up on the bathroom wall behind the toilet. so my dad knocked into the wall and the leak, no a stream, was present. and with that it became a reality that the pipes needed to be replaced, that the walls because of that, would be redone and since all of that was being redone they would replace the cabinets, and the floor and on into the kitchen. and that whatever excuse, like moving, or building a new house, ceased to exist... of course this is suppose to happen in the new year. and i'm looking forward with a wary eye. possibly glee. of such a thing coming true. with a hope that even after so long, things can change for the better, and that it's okay to show a part of yourself that needs repair in the hopes that with the better part of man it'll be fixed and made new again.