Not in the Shangri-la sense

Turtle-cupcakes- flavor not form does not go further to explain anything whatever except that maybe they taste like baby pond turtles. I am unconvinced pre-birthday girl.

And since we're on about food, and I've got a bus to catch in an hour- it was all going to be really efficient to have an omlette and baguette at the guesthouse- but then they thought I wanted scrambled eggs and an omlette? and then she never came back with my bread until I finished so I just refused to pay for it and it took long enough that they were like oh, sorry- so now i'm at the trendy western café having a 1/2 off chocolate croissant from yesterday and an iced cap. Apparently my breakfast self has no apparent concern for how to slice my budget to make it last. I have a 4 hour busride to think about it. Oh also- the missionaries relatives- Buddhists- ok- but they charged me double for what the anti-nausea meds cost. I bought another set just in case and I was like wait what, only 4,000? Not 10,000!? Agh! Pisses me off. Nevermind. It's so incremental but that's not the point. Nevermind!

So allergies- I have no idea how you missed the thread- all my tests came back negative for gluten allergies and all and i'm mysteriously still highly allergic to "something" they don't know what- and only mildy allergic to pork and cockroaches. Though I've been having baguettes up and down the borders here it's a bad "western" breakfast habit- I had some unhealthy bread just the other day and my intestines got angry and my joints flared so I can't say i'm integrating wheat back into my daily anything- except for 7grain bread. I'm excited to eat that and sourdough- I really think fish tacos should be with corn-ts- but i'd be willing to eat yours whatever way you make them.

I can't believe I  didn't write to you in Phonsavan. I was irritated mainly because I couldn't find anyone to do my trek with me. But that's because they sort of trap and isolate tourists and i'm not as extroverted, and lacking in time to pull forces together and leave notes around town. It was a weird border town- it felt on the edge of something- people were into all sorts of things and the main pull of the town is the plain of jars- funerary or giants drinking cups who knows and UXO. It was glaring and hot at the first place, scenic and lovely at the 2nd, but it's not like we had packed lunches to stay- which would've been nice, and then the 3rd, hotter and less scenic. Everyone thought the noodle soup was good for lunch and I can't tell if they were being polite or if they really thought it was good- and then good for them for being easily pleased. They're not tyrannized by high standards.

Meanwhile you gaze around at this land that's sort of made to roam, to take a horse through or to wander around- kind of scenic. Hills. Cleared land, some forested areas- and then you think, oh right- Bombs. Every-where. And to think Kennedy started that mess! And then you add bomb dumps before the planes returned to the ships because that was "less" dangerous and secondary targets in lieu of targets in Vietnam and then actual civil war and war and whatever and different terrain opposed to WWII terrain, and you have a monster problem of unexploded ordinance aka UXO. I bought a t-shirt to support the clearance cause and some aluminum bracelets made from rocket caps. Though it'll take 150 years at this rate- Granted they're turning this whole thing into a bit of a gimmick (bombs as garden beds, or satellite dish stands but it has to be true at the core i think- and it gets a bit tiresome with the whole anti-US vibe, let alone the rather slanted video they show at the MAG office- as if French colonialism and the ensuing war was a breeze in the park in comparison- and oh communism! but ok fine- it is horrifying, cluster bombs. Shudder. People going about their business and they strike one or they're trying to make a quick buck with warscrap and boom! There's only one line in the video about the US trying to give aid and it being declined by the laos govt. Claiming "complex" relationship. Whatever I get it. Totally heinous problem.

Oh Phonsavan! You could've been epic but you were just a weird off-kilter and thus I suppose memorable place with your sudden rain storm, random mist, and aid organizations left and right. I did meet a lovely French couple named John-Pierre and Christiane. I had some amazing Indian Food too. And the 2nd day I did a bit of a prayer walk and walked and then walked some more and ended up at a place called Mulberries where they do some amazing work with natural dyes and silkworms- though the minute you start hearing "Chinese involvement" and investment in Laos or Vietnam and it makes one a bit nervous- but then you go oh back to amazingness and silk--- ooo. Though I am a fan more of high quality cotton. Nevermind! I have to go soon.

So that was the 2 1/2 days there. The long bus ride there I spent mostly passed out, tittering bus driver, check, yet another couple traveling together, right, and then a hellish road out to Laung Prabang where even though I took the sleepy drowsy pill of thanktheLord they invented it and it works, I slept because holyhell the pinturns! Another traveler got sick. Luckily we pulled over and my new travel companion of 3 hours at that point, we both peed off the side of the road - so I didnt' have to later be outraged by having to pay to go to the toilet not 30minutes later! You get weird traveling. I just sound strange to myself hemming over $1 and cents but it's my job for now I guess. I'd say i'm doing average or passable - and i'm ok with it! right?! Ok. Yes. OK.

Anyway the temp picked up, passing through the cloud line, and the roads got back to dusty, and we were back at the Mekong delta level of things. I expected to roll into this palm trees dripping by the waters edge (dry season- oh right, nevermind) and the saffron robed monks in this sort of haze (bcs of all the slash/burn farming- also heinous) of colonial charm and it's so not. People sort of go all wistful about how you could stay here and isn't it lovely? But only because the snake that you didn't see has anesthetized you and is slowly coiling its way around you to consume you. But more on that once I get to Nong Khiaw. I don't have the headspace to keep rambling on. I hope there's some sort of internet connection- it's suppose to get more "rustic" from here on out so I don't know.

Oh! and I'm so glad you didn't release the butterflies- I had that thought going to sleep one night. Just a quick distressing truth about cold weather. Perhaps they can live their lifecycle in the hot house and you can order another such thing for spring summerish? and then release those ones?

All right, thanks for listening my dear friend. I've got a four hour ride to the north-east of here and a budget table to stare at. I mean if you happen to see any jobs i'd be perfect for... nevermind nevermind one thing at a time.

My love,
m.

Dear Friend,

Right so where was I?
There was a frenetic amount of activity followed by more activity. Oh and then I woke up realized I'd been bitten by a tick. Mother-cusser. Who the cuss knows where it came from except that it was latched on under my armpit. It still hurts by the way. It was a tiny little cusser too. I ripped it right off and popped it btw my thumb and forefinger. Cusser! Luckily there was not much blood and it was still pretty small. So I can't say how long it'd been there- hopefully not long?

So yes, after that Cath kicked up some good emails to agoda for such a shit recommendation. Although shame for LP too. Well we can't have it all. We can't trace the tick can we? The CA guesthouse which as a chill vibe as its namesake is filled with drama too- cock fighting in the alley, constant stream of gambling in the kitchen, there was a laptop stolen (not sure by who as we came to check cath out), and then a guy suddenly was moving out the next night which seemed to hint a larger story. Also confusion abounded over paying the driver, laundry and the girl forgot to give me my passport- which I remembered THANK THE LORD, 3 blocks later with my now 19kg pack. Cuss! Total border town feeling.

First order of business smoothies. The woman thought I wanted 3. Which is crazy. Since I came not just the day before and did exactly the same thing. This one was not made with as much love as the other one but guava, passionfruit, and mango- so good. and only a $1. Right so then I made Cath take the bus and there was some map discussion about bus#'s with the attendant. Cath said she was impressed with my determination but it seemed a day to be brave. And we made it to a fairtrade shop where I bought some bits which I wish had had more but it was for a good cause. Now when it comes to a two man team I tend to try for constant negotiation of what to do and how- since I don't need to be the one demanding we do x and y unless I really want to try something. But the uncertainty of where and when was a bit much for cath at one point where I was verbally processing about bus, walk or taxi so she chose taxi. It would've been a 2mile walk and we weren't sure what bus so for $3 or whatever it cost- it was worth it. Next we wandered, got lost, as cath said ignored local advice, reoriented ourselves, and found the rather ominous Jade Emperor Pagoda. I started getting a headache and nothing would induce me to cross the inner threshold. But I did sneak a peek at some rather fierce looking guardians from there and around the side. The day sped by to various stops- and I think overall we walked much less then our first day trek which I estimated covered over 6miles in 93+ degree weather. Sometimes the bus SAVES.

The next day I made contact with the persecuted church. At one point I thought she was referencing lost ships... oh lost sheep! Right. To which she then equally assumed I knew nothing about the bible- but I countered that I heard something rather nautical and not pastoral in her accent. What to do! More on all that in a later letter- but suffice to say we had a good meeting, which consumed all of sunday and the beginning of Monday, and then Cath and me had a very low key last night together in Saigon. We went to a Mexican restaurant. Funny enough. And all went well. besides being grumpy at having lost my lovely travel companion. I soldiered on. Settled my bills, having sampled most of the coffees on TrungNguyen's list including Weasel Coffee, and excepting #3 "idea"... I found ultimately that the #4 coffee "Creation" to be better than #5 "Success". Apropos.

I got out of Saigon but barely as I felt it didn't want to let go of me, the passport for instance, the inability of the taxi driver to make change, shrifting me 10,000 (.50c)- you'd think it's nothing but it adds up, and then of course the tragic swiss army knife lost- I've had since '96. Which means it traveled with me through Europe, Ireland, Turkey, Korea, Cen AM, to be finally consumed by Vietnam. I don't know. It's loss makes me irrationally irritable.

And of course I did all this planning for Vietnam and over today and yesterday have had to rapidly orient myself to Laos. And remind myself I need to adjust as much as I've been plowing through change after change- each country still has a how it's done curve + language, money exchange and hotels and am keeping my eye on the diminishing money vault since I still need to tickethomeit. Which makes me also cranky vacillating between wanting to give up and go home right now to excited and wanting to trek through the jungle. Each experience making me manic in my judgments and attitudes. The hotel, boo. Vietnam was better. The street crepe made with onion, egg and pepper- amazing! I'll stay. The croissant this morning dismal! I want to be back in Saigon. Though since, the pho and the perfect latte are trying to make up for it. I hope to try and go swimming, and tomorrow cycle through town and figure out the next step. That or just calm down and blow away some days. I'm only spending $10 (80,000) each night on the guesthouse now I've moved. and the pho was maybe a $1.5 (15,000). So I'm going to be optimistic that my money will stretch a bit more. I hope?
Whatever. Now i'm rambling. Also I realize I havent' really been describing places well- or have I or just recently. Can you ask me some questions Pen?

Love you from over here,
xo,
M.
ps. how's the bells?